Our Father hand-holding and Communion blessings

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I recently was informed that holding hands during the Our Father and non-Catholics recieving a blessing during communion were debated issues and reccomended against. I can see the reasoning behind why these shouldn’t be done, but they are unanimously praticed at all Masses in my parish. Since these are so widly practiced, where I attend I feel uncomfortable not participating. How bad are these pratices in actuality and would it be sinful to participate?
 
I recently was informed that holding hands during the Our Father and non-Catholics recieving a blessing during communion were debated issues and reccomended against. I can see the reasoning behind why these shouldn’t be done, but they are unanimously praticed at all Masses in my parish. Since these are so widly practiced, where I attend I feel uncomfortable not participating. How bad are these pratices in actuality and would it be sinful to participate?
If you realize that ministers, whether priests or EMHC’s, are not enjoined to offer blessings in communion line then you ought not participate in that practice, while holding hands is pretty innocuous. I don’t see either practice as a sin, but always ask your priest if in doubt. And may your journey home be a joyous one!
 
I don’t hold hands. I hold my hands in front of me in prayer and close my eyes.
 
I recently was informed that holding hands during the Our Father and non-Catholics recieving a blessing during communion were debated issues and reccomended against. I can see the reasoning behind why these shouldn’t be done, but they are unanimously praticed at all Masses in my parish. Since these are so widly practiced, where I attend I feel uncomfortable not participating. How bad are these pratices in actuality and would it be sinful to participate?
Don’t worry about it. This is a small change issue. When in Rome …

Congrats on RCIA!
 
I recently was informed that holding hands during the Our Father and non-Catholics recieving a blessing during communion were debated issues and reccomended against. I can see the reasoning behind why these shouldn’t be done, but they are unanimously praticed at all Masses in my parish. Since these are so widly practiced, where I attend I feel uncomfortable not participating. How bad are these pratices in actuality and would it be sinful to participate?
They are debated issues. The Church, as far as I know, has not declared the acts sinful. Nor, do I believe they ever will since they amount to a symbol of love (hand holding) and a prayer of intercession (blessing) both acts of love against which there is no law.

Welcome to the Catholic Church!

Sincerely,

De Maria
 
I refuse to hold hands during the Our Father. When they life their arms up, it HURTS me. So I don’t do it.
Years ago an older gal was next to me and told me that she didn’t hold hands because people hurt her… I never ever tried to hold hands again, I didn’t want to be the one to hurt someone. Now I’m on that end where it hurts!
When I refused to hold hands with one lady, (I just keep my hands in front of me and bow my head and shake it no when someone holds a hand to me, I’m not rude) she stuck her arm out in the air and her hand about 2" in front of my face. I had to step into the isle to get away from her arm. I thought that was rude beyond belief. I won’t sit anywhere near that gal.
 
I recently was informed that holding hands during the Our Father and non-Catholics recieving a blessing during communion were debated issues and reccomended against. I can see the reasoning behind why these shouldn’t be done, but they are unanimously praticed at all Masses in my parish. Since these are so widly practiced, where I attend I feel uncomfortable not participating. How bad are these pratices in actuality and would it be sinful to participate?
Congrats on RCIA.

No, it probably isn’t a sin, and certainly isn’t a mortal one. Not everything that shouldn’t be done rises to the level of a sin.

That said, these things really shouldn’t be done. I stopped doing them when I learned early on that it’s frowned on.

Speaking of things we should or shouldn’t be doing during Mass, I only just recently learned that the GIRM prescribes a minor bow (bowing one’s head) during Mass at each and every mention of the name of Jesus, Mary, or the saint being honored at that particular Mass. Never heard that before, and never seen anyone but the priest doing it.
When I refused to hold hands with one lady, (I just keep my hands in front of me and bow my head and shake it no when someone holds a hand to me, I’m not rude) she stuck her arm out in the air and her hand about 2" in front of my face. I had to step into the isle to get away from her arm. I thought that was rude beyond belief. I won’t sit anywhere near that gal.
I’ve heard stories like this before. Never seen it myself, though. But it’s pretty amazing if this sort of thing is happening. Betcha dollars to donuts many of the people who are sticklers about you holding their hands during the Our Father (like we’re Protestants!) would never dream of doing the stuff that’s actually prescribed in the Missal like bowing at the Incarnatus or striking one’s chest during the mea culpa.
 
I refuse to hold hands during the Our Father. When they life their arms up, it HURTS me. So I don’t do it.
Years ago an older gal was next to me and told me that she didn’t hold hands because people hurt her… I never ever tried to hold hands again, I didn’t want to be the one to hurt someone. Now I’m on that end where it hurts!
When I refused to hold hands with one lady, (I just keep my hands in front of me and bow my head and shake it no when someone holds a hand to me, I’m not rude) she stuck her arm out in the air and her hand about 2" in front of my face. I had to step into the isle to get away from her arm. I thought that was rude beyond belief. I won’t sit anywhere near that gal.
Holding hands is not required. Nor is it forbidden.
 
Thanks for the replies. I’m finding that I’m now uncomfortable recieving a blessing during communion, but my problem is that with it being expected it would appear rude if I didn’t. Also considering that I’m new there and fairly young, I don’t think refusing a blessing would be well received.

I know this is off topic, but my church does not kneels during consecration, instead every one bows; is this something I should be concerned with?
 
Thanks for the replies. I’m finding that I’m now uncomfortable recieving a blessing during communion, but my problem is that with it being expected it would appear rude if I didn’t. Also considering that I’m new there and fairly young, I don’t think refusing a blessing would be well received.

I know this is off topic, but my church does not kneels during consecration, instead every one bows; is this something I should be concerned with?
If you are in the line and cannot receive Communion, it will be assumed that you are there for a blessing, otherwise why join the line? Just do not go up in the Communion Line. If you cannot receive Communion, stay in your pew. You would not be being rude. If anyone urges you to enter the line, they are the ones who are being rude.
 
Thanks for the replies. I’m finding that I’m now uncomfortable recieving a blessing during communion, but my problem is that with it being expected it would appear rude if I didn’t. Also considering that I’m new there and fairly young, I don’t think refusing a blessing would be well received.

I know this is off topic, but my church does not kneels during consecration, instead every one bows; is this something I should be concerned with?
I don’t see why it would be expected for you to get in line to ask for a blessing. For myself, I never did this – early on I was just too timid, but after I discovered it was positively discouraged, I refused on principle. Our deacon (who ran our RCIA class) told me once or twice that I should feel free to do it but he never once remarked on my not doing it.

The important thing to understand is that you receive a blessing at the end of Mass anyway – right before the closing, the priest says “And may almighty God bless you, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.” Bow your head and cross yourself as he says this – blessing received. This is part of the big objection to communion line blessings: it’s redundant and unnecessary. I made this point in a thread on the topic several months ago and was told that if one blessing is good, more is better – so I’m just “anti-blessings”!

Of course, this is a superstitious understanding of blessings. Holy water is good. It doesn’t follow I should flood my house with it. You don’t need that much holy water. A little bit of it on your fingers as you cross yourself is efficacious enough. Superstition being a bad thing (and a sin when taken to extremes), it should be discouraged, so that sounds to me like a good reason to do away with this habit.

Re: kneeling during the consecration, my understanding is that kneeling during the consecration is normative but that dioceses (or perhaps episcopal conferences – i.e., the groups of dioceses in a large area) have the authority to waive this requirement. (Personally, I don’t like the whole practice of kneeling, then standing and shaking hands like it’s a party, then going back to the kneeling. Quite jarring and discontinuous to my mind. Then again, I don’t have to like the mess, I just have to participate in it.) Anyway, the fact that your parish stands during the consecration is not necessarily an abuse, as it may be the case that the bishop has authorized this. Try checking out other Masses in the area and see if things are done the same way. If so, that’s a good sign that it’s not just an abuse or innovation specific to that parish.
 
As one who took RCIA last year, I just want to say congratulations and may your faith journey be filled with as much joy and blessings as mine was! ❤️

Now, as for the hand-holding … I used to do it. The woman I first started attending the Catholic Church with just automatically grabbed my hand during this prayer. Naturally, I assumed that’s what we were all supposed to do. Later on, I noticed that families held each others’ hands and close friends did as well, but everyone else just kind of raised their hands up. I am one of the few in the parish who will simply clasp my hands and bow my head as I do any other time I pray the Our Father. No one has had any objections to it yet. 😉

I never went up for a blessing in the Communion line because I’d heard it was not necessary as we ALL received a blessing at the end of Mass. I simply stayed seated. This was never an issue at all. In fact, my priest, during RCIA class, said to just stay seated in the pew if you didn’t want to receive a blessing. (BTW, he said it was unnecessary but certainly wouldn’t refuse anyone if they came up there.)

I hope this helps!! =o)
 
I refuse to hold hands during the Our Father. When they life their arms up, it HURTS me. So I don’t do it.
Years ago an older gal was next to me and told me that she didn’t hold hands because people hurt her… I never ever tried to hold hands again, I didn’t want to be the one to hurt someone. Now I’m on that end where it hurts!
When I refused to hold hands with one lady, (I just keep my hands in front of me and bow my head and shake it no when someone holds a hand to me, I’m not rude) she stuck her arm out in the air and her hand about 2" in front of my face. I had to step into the isle to get away from her arm. I thought that was rude beyond belief. I won’t sit anywhere near that gal.
On any side of any issue you are going to run into people who are rude beyond belief. It just comes with being in a room full of sinners. Which is what we all are.
 
Thanks for the replies. I’ll try to avoid going up for the blessing next Sunday, but I’ll probably continue wiht the hand-holding while I’m at my current parish.
Re: kneeling during the consecration, my understanding is that kneeling during the consecration is normative but that dioceses (or perhaps episcopal conferences – i.e., the groups of dioceses in a large area) have the authority to waive this requirement.
I think the bishop of my diocese did waive the requirement, since we had our auxilary bishop there recently, and he didn’t have a problem with it. I was just concerned because I had just discovered that kneeling was a requirement, but it never occured at my parish.

Thanks again.
 
At times, people don’t think they are being rude when they grab a person’s arm, so they can hold hands. :nope:
 
I tend to follow the when in Rome mentality. I am a 46 year old convert of almost 3 years who is very conservative theologically. I thought that the Church was ALL traditional like my impression of Her always was. However, I am presently a member of a Parrish of wonderful people where holding hands during the Our Father and receiving in the hand is the norm. Even though I am not comfortable really with either, I do both because it is the custom of the Parrish to which I belong, which is in full communion with Rome. So i submit to the culture of my Parrish, which is actually in the southern part of the U.S. My point is that I do not feel that these local customs are worth rebelling against the pastor and the bishop whom I respect greatly. I have never heard anything unorthodox ever preached there. I must confess that sometimes I go to another Parrish with a more formal albeit OF Mass.
 
I can’t stand the hand-holding during the Our Father, especially the raising up the hands at the end. People who are for it have tried saying that it’s because it’s OUR Father and we are all praying the prayer together. So I ask them, why not hold hands for the Confiteor, Kyrie, Gloria, Creed, and Agnus Dei, since we all pray those together to. Heck, why not just hold hands for the entire Mass? Hand holding puts the focus on the people in the church rather than on God, where it belongs.
 
I can’t stand the hand-holding during the Our Father, especially the raising up the hands at the end. People who are for it have tried saying that it’s because it’s OUR Father and we are all praying the prayer together. So I ask them, why not hold hands for the Confiteor, Kyrie, Gloria, Creed, and Agnus Dei, since we all pray those together to. Heck, why not just hold hands for the entire Mass? Hand holding puts the focus on the people in the church rather than on God, where it belongs.
I can understand the objections for holding hands during the Our Father. What I can’t understand is the anger and sarcasm. A gentle smile and a shake of the head is sufficient to discourage the gesture of well meaning people who reach out to you. If someone is rude, it really is not necessary to return a tit for tat.

I think that this practice will fade of its own accord over time. But it won’t fade very soon if it becomes a matter of personal pride on one hand and an expression of “my rights” on the other.
 
This issue is the classic making a mountain out of a molehill, especially when this doesn’t even amount to a molehill.
 
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