Our vulgar and debased culture, it has sunk so far, how do we respond?

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I worked last night, I am an ER nurse. One ER tech, ‘Carmen’ I’ll call her, is a rather vulgar person. She’s a hard working gal, but quite coarse in her language and conversations. She had worked upstairs in one of the other units. She told us a story from the other night.

Apparently there is a traveler nurse who came from another part of the state and was going to be away from home and his wife for 7 days while working. He was talking to Carmen. He was having a hard time relaxing and sleeping during the day, the hospital must be putting him up in a hotel.

Carmen told him that he outta go(crude colloquialism for masturbation). The fellow said he could never do that, for one thing he felt that he’d be cheating on his wife.

The other two nurses I work with were besides themselves with amusement at what a weirdo the guy was. Carmen thought there was something seriously wrong with him in the head. They went on and on. These are all married women, the charge nurse is in her 50s like me, the other a 30 something mother of two preschoolers, I know she goes to born again church with her husband and inlaws.

I just had to jump in and defend the fellow. I told them I thought he was a good guy who was striving to be holy. Carmen was so disdainful and adamantly argued that everyone masturbates, and how can that guy be so weird.

It’s almost like the light of the man’s good and right living was just too bright, and it turned these women into witches! :eek:
 
Christ told us this would happen. St, John, Ch. 16.
[18] If the world hate you, know ye, that it hath hated me before you. [19] If you had been of the world, the world would love its own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. [20] Remember my word that I said to you: The servant is not greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you: if they have kept my word, they will keep yours also.
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God Bless
 
You respond by your good example, trying to shine some light on the darkness around you. You risk being ostracized by your peers, considered out of tune with the culture, but so be it. My sister is also a nurse in an ER, and from her stories I know it can be very stressful. She and her coworkers often release the tension with humor, and perhaps because the work is so intimate, that humor can get earthy and vulgar. Not an excuse, just an observation. I worked in construction, and I had a reputation as one who rarely swore or used vulgar language, and tried to steer the conversation away from the gutter. I was respected by some, and ignored or ridiculed by others, but I did what I could to live true to my Faith. It sounds like you are doing the same. 🙂
 
Yeah, I can definitely see where in the current climate you would be unpopular for defending the faith. I agree with the other post that Christ told us there’d be days like these. You’re going against the culture, which is a very strong negative peer pressure, now.

Well, I don’t know how much consolation this would be to you, but I think you did a really good job. :clapping::yup:👍:):bounce:

God bless you!
 
Country_Gal said:
I worked last night, I am an ER nurse. One ER tech, ‘Carmen’ I’ll call her, is a rather vulgar person. She’s a hard working gal, but quite coarse in her language and conversations. She had worked upstairs in one of the other units. She told us a story from the other night.

Apparently there is a traveler nurse who came from another part of the state and was going to be away from home and his wife for 7 days while working. He was talking to Carmen. He was having a hard time relaxing and sleeping during the day, the hospital must be putting him up in a hotel.

Carmen told him that he outta go(crude colloquialism for masturbation). The fellow said he could never do that, for one thing he felt that he’d be cheating on his wife.

The other two nurses I work with were besides themselves with amusement at what a weirdo the guy was. Carmen thought there was something seriously wrong with him in the head. They went on and on. These are all married women, the charge nurse is in her 50s like me, the other a 30 something mother of two preschoolers, I know she goes to born again church with her husband and inlaws.

I just had to jump in and defend the fellow. I told them I thought he was a good guy who was striving to be holy. Carmen was so disdainful and adamantly argued that everyone masturbates, and how can that guy be so weird.

It’s almost like the light of the man’s good and right living was just too bright, and it turned these women into witches! :eek:
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Sad story, but it’s great to hear how you handled it. 👍

I deal with it the same way when I can. I was so annoyed with what passes for “fine literature” these days that I wrote 5,00,000 words worth of fiction, simply to prove that I could do it without being debased. Of course, it’s far from being great literature. 😉 😊

And I have similar cringe-worthy moments at work sometimes. I once remember counselling the father of a (Catholic) woman who was intellectually disabled, and who’d been deserted by her husband. After trying to put some hope into him, I got ready to leave the room - only to be met by a colleague who said "what a pity that girl is retarded, I’m sure she’d be (I refuse to complete this, I leave it to your imagination). It took a great deal of restraint for me not to bawl him out on the spot. Sometimes I think I ought to have done it.
 
We can help by our own example. Let’s do our best to not be vulgar or discuss vulgar things or use profanity. The culture at large ignores or is indifferent to such things, as in, “Hey. What’s the big deal?” People do tend to imitate others unless they have standards by which to measure their own behavior, which will guide them.
  1. Don’t watch vulgar and debased TV shows or movies, or read books that are like that.
  2. Find things to do that are fun but do not involve anything vulgar. Take up a good hobby.
  3. Speak up, politely, when others around you promote something bad as good. I’m not saying you should start an argument, but just let people know you disagree, and be prepared to answer them if they have good questions. Don’t answer their insults. I mean everyone should be entitled to stand up for what they believe in, even if some people think you’re weird for saying anything.
Just don’t follow the crowd in doing wrong. But continue to respect others as your fellow human beings.

God bless,
Ed
 
I am sorta tired of good Catholics and Christians thinking that they have to put up with this sort of stuff at work. We all know that if we suggested to our co-workers that they should pray that all sorts of drama would be created. Likewise we need to realize that we are entitled to a workplace that is free of sexual harassment such as you have described in your post. There is absolutely no need for anyone to be subjected to an open discussion of a sexual nature in the work place. You should inform your supervisor that you find this type of discussion to be harassing in nature and that you will not tolerate further harassment. Your employer should, as required by Federal law, provide you with a workplace that is free of sexual harassment.

If you want to speak to a labor law attorney in your area, you can easily find one on line.
 
Country_Gal said:
I worked last night, I am an ER nurse. One ER tech, ‘Carmen’ I’ll call her, is a rather vulgar person. She’s a hard working gal, but quite coarse in her language and conversations. She had worked upstairs in one of the other units. She told us a story from the other night.

Apparently there is a traveler nurse who came from another part of the state and was going to be away from home and his wife for 7 days while working. He was talking to Carmen. He was having a hard time relaxing and sleeping during the day, the hospital must be putting him up in a hotel.

Carmen told him that he outta go(crude colloquialism for masturbation). The fellow said he could never do that, for one thing he felt that he’d be cheating on his wife.

The other two nurses I work with were besides themselves with amusement at what a weirdo the guy was. Carmen thought there was something seriously wrong with him in the head. They went on and on. These are all married women, the charge nurse is in her 50s like me, the other a 30 something mother of two preschoolers, I know she goes to born again church with her husband and inlaws.

I just had to jump in and defend the fellow. I told them I thought he was a good guy who was striving to be holy. Carmen was so disdainful and adamantly argued that everyone masturbates, and how can that guy be so weird.

It’s almost like the light of the man’s good and right living was just too bright, and it turned these women into witches! :eek:
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Ya done good. And so did that man!
 
If the nurse who made the original comments did not make it to the male Nurse who was stressed out, then it’s not sexual harassment. What she suggested he do, however, is indeed improper in a workplace, although not harassment, unless she also derided him for his beliefs. Then it is harassment. Since he is a travel Nurse, the management might send him home, and not give him work again, instead of blaming their own Nurse for her comments!

As a Nurse, I could usually control my CNA’s when I was working, and prevent any obscene language inside the facility. However, some of the management were as bad or worse, and I could not stop them. After a couple of years, they all knew that I was offended and was very Catholic. They kept me on the Hall for Terminally Ill and Hospice patients, where NO ONE used such language, since there were a lot of family members around most of the time.

I think you handled it well. Prior to becoming a Hospice Nurse, I also worked ER, and found the comments and language to be that bad, and usually worse! However, the management made sure such comments were made only in the Nurse’s Lounge, and never in the hallways or at the Nurse’s Station, so that patients and family members would never hear them. I usually ate my lunch outside the Nurse’s Lounge if I could (especially on night shift), or I’d let everyone else go on their meal break first, and I’d go last so I had the Lounge to myself. By volunteering to go last, which no one objected to (obviously), I was able to avoid the worst of this type of language and behavior. God bless you for your stance! 👍 (I’m retired and disabled now, so spend a lot of time alone at home (also widowed), so I don’t run into it as much, but do hear it when I go shopping, etc.)
 
Perhaps praying a Novena for this “Carmen” will change her heart???
 
Masturbation (as well as pornography) re-wires the brain and changes one’s view of relationships. It is really not a good habit to have, but is a very difficult one to break. Unfortunately, breaking the habit is made even more difficult because the culture of the day says that “everyone is doing it” and “it’s no big deal.”

We need to pray for these people involved. They need to grow past their adolescent states and learn to control their sexuality, not give into every urge.

I think foul language is a bit sad. It goes to show how small our vocabularies have gotten over the years. People need to learn to express themselves better. Maybe do a word of the day or at the very least find some better reading material to help improve one’s vocabulary. Curse words make one sound uneducated and they’re very over-used words.
 
Country_Gal said:
I worked last night, I am an ER nurse. One ER tech, ‘Carmen’ I’ll call her, is a rather vulgar person. She’s a hard working gal, but quite coarse in her language and conversations. She had worked upstairs in one of the other units. She told us a story from the other night.

Apparently there is a traveler nurse who came from another part of the state and was going to be away from home and his wife for 7 days while working. He was talking to Carmen. He was having a hard time relaxing and sleeping during the day, the hospital must be putting him up in a hotel.

Carmen told him that he outta go(crude colloquialism for masturbation). The fellow said he could never do that, for one thing he felt that he’d be cheating on his wife.

The other two nurses I work with were besides themselves with amusement at what a weirdo the guy was. Carmen thought there was something seriously wrong with him in the head. They went on and on. These are all married women, the charge nurse is in her 50s like me, the other a 30 something mother of two preschoolers, I know she goes to born again church with her husband and inlaws.

I just had to jump in and defend the fellow. I told them I thought he was a good guy who was striving to be holy. Carmen was so disdainful and adamantly argued that everyone masturbates, and how can that guy be so weird.

It’s almost like the light of the man’s good and right living was just too bright, and it turned these women into witches! :eek:
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Masturbating may popular and it may feel good, but it is not healthy.
 
Country_Gal said:
I worked last night, I am an ER nurse. One ER tech, ‘Carmen’ I’ll call her, is a rather vulgar person. She’s a hard working gal, but quite coarse in her language and conversations. She had worked upstairs in one of the other units. She told us a story from the other night.

Apparently there is a traveler nurse who came from another part of the state and was going to be away from home and his wife for 7 days while working. He was talking to Carmen. He was having a hard time relaxing and sleeping during the day, the hospital must be putting him up in a hotel.

Carmen told him that he outta go(crude colloquialism for masturbation). The fellow said he could never do that, for one thing he felt that he’d be cheating on his wife.

The other two nurses I work with were besides themselves with amusement at what a weirdo the guy was. Carmen thought there was something seriously wrong with him in the head. They went on and on. These are all married women, the charge nurse is in her 50s like me, the other a 30 something mother of two preschoolers, I know she goes to born again church with her husband and inlaws.

I just had to jump in and defend the fellow. I told them I thought he was a good guy who was striving to be holy. Carmen was so disdainful and adamantly argued that everyone masturbates, and how can that guy be so weird.

It’s almost like the light of the man’s good and right living was just too bright, and it turned these women into witches! :eek:
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You hit the nail on the head. This almost exact thing happened to my younger brother at his college recently. He’s saving himself for marriage, and that made him get constantly mocked by his “friends”. He’s never pushed his choices on anyone, but they knew where he stood. One of the girls in the group he hung out with called him a freak and told him “I bet you’ve never even seen your own (insert slang for male reproductive organ here)” :mad: Why the heck that was her business, I don’t know.

My brother is a good man who treats women as human beings to be loved and not toys to be used and for that you’re mocking him? Girl, what is wrong with you?!?! For once you meet a guy who’s not looking at you as an object and this is how you react? Makes me so mad but then sad at the same time. So many are so lost they don’t even see what they’re worth. :sad_yes:
 
A great man once said, evangelize everyday, occasionally use words.👍
 
“Hurt people hurt others” - Bill Cosby

Women who have been hurt by the falsehoods of our secular culture will want others to burn to; therefore they will market the ideas so the can be surounded by similar people.

Your caption reminded me of St Terese of Liseaux. She explains how “God stoops” to be with us. She explains that even the most holy needs God to stoop down to their level. Personally, I experienced God stooping down to me while watching “South Park”. Now I don’t profess “South Park” for most peoples salvation, but rather God was able to recognize how to get my attention through the less than perfect TV show.

I also learned from St Terese that once I can recognize God stooping, I will find myself standng on my toes to reach God in holier places.
 
judynurse said:
If the nurse who made the original comments did not make it to the male Nurse who was stressed out, then it’s not sexual harassment. What she suggested he do, however, is indeed improper in a workplace, although not harassment, unless she also derided him for his beliefs. Then it is harassment. Since he is a travel Nurse, the management might send him home, and not give him work again, instead of blaming their own Nurse for her comments!

As a Nurse, I could usually control my CNA’s when I was working, and prevent any obscene language inside the facility. However, some of the management were as bad or worse, and I could not stop them. After a couple of years, they all knew that I was offended and was very Catholic. They kept me on the Hall for Terminally Ill and Hospice patients, where NO ONE used such language, since there were a lot of family members around most of the time.

I think you handled it well. Prior to becoming a Hospice Nurse, I also worked ER, and found the comments and language to be that bad, and usually worse! However, the management made sure such comments were made only in the Nurse’s Lounge, and never in the hallways or at the Nurse’s Station, so that patients and family members would never hear them. I usually ate my lunch outside the Nurse’s Lounge if I could (especially on night shift), or I’d let everyone else go on their meal break first, and I’d go last so I had the Lounge to myself. By volunteering to go last, which no one objected to (obviously), I was able to avoid the worst of this type of language and behavior. God bless you for your stance! 👍 (I’m retired and disabled now, so spend a lot of time alone at home (also widowed), so I don’t run into it as much, but do hear it when I go shopping, etc.)
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I am an attorney that has represented businesses against claims of sexual harassment in the work place. Your understanding of what is sexual harassment is correct to a point. A second aspect of sexual harassment is if the activity is of such a nature that it creates a hostile work environment then such sexual harassment can be actionable. What is happening is that the original poster is left in a situation if not corrected will constantly subject her to crude and vulgar sexual discussion in her workplace thereby resulting in her workplace being hostile. In short federal law does not permit an employer to stand by and do nothing while an employee, that is merely trying to do their job, is subject to such improper and sexual harassing discussions. She has every right to report such inappropriate behavior to her supervisor and that supervisor is required to take action to correct it. I would advise the original poster to speak to a labor law attorney in her area to assist her before discussing this matter with her supervisor and to ensure that she understands her rights.
 
You know what really gets me it that, everyone seemed to think that anyone in their right mind who has to go a ‘whole’ week without sex definitely should masturbate, and if he doesn’t he is a nutcase!:eek:

Where do people get this model of mental health? And, I can’t see that a married man feeling like masturbating would be cheating on his wife is a really extreme point of view. And, that any feelings of stress or tensions in ones life should be dealt with through masturbation. :rolleyes:
 
This mindset extends to the female as well.An elderly friend of mine was in a prayer group at our parish.She finally moved on due to the lax attitudes of at least a few woman n the group.Now these are mainly widowed and or divorced women in their seventies,who feel that it is perfectly acceptable to relieve themselves sexually,that they should be able to engage in this act without feeling as though they have sinned.:eek:
 
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