Out of Church Marriage

[vernmargaret]

I’m very confused. I was a lapsed Catholic for over 30 years, having drifted away from the Church in my late high school years. During that time I married a non-Catholic and we were married in a Unitarian Universalist church. I’ve now felt the call to return to Christ’s true Church and have been going to confession and attending mass regularly for some time now. I’ve also been receiving Communion.

Now I hear that I’m not supposed to receive Communion and my confessions are not “sacramental” because I was married outside the Church. My husband will not go to the Catholic church. What am I supposed to do, leave him???

Please help with any advice. I know God must still love me!

 

[Phemie]

As a Catholic who had not formally rejected the faith, you were obliged to marry in the Church. If there were no impediments to your marriage (IOW, this is a first marriage for each of you and there is nothing that would preclude your being married in the Church) it’s a simple matter of meeting with the priest and discussing having a convalidation which is a fancy way of saying 'getting married in the Church".

A convalidation will require the exact same paperwork as any other wedding and you would be repeating your vows in front of a priest or deacon. As far as the Church is concerned, you are in a valid marriage from the day of your convalidation.

If your husband is dead set against repeating the vows, you might be eligible for a radical sanation which recognizes the validity of your marriage from the time of your marriage in the Unitarian Church.

Your first step is to meet with your priest and discuss this with him. He’ll steer you in the direction that is most appropriate for your situation.

 

[1ke]

I’m very confused. I was a lapsed Catholic for over 30 years, having drifted away from the Church in my late high school years. During that time I married a non-Catholic and we were married in a Unitarian Universalist church. I’ve now felt the call to return to Christ’s true Church and have been going to confession and attending mass regularly for some time now. I’ve also been receiving Communion.

Now I hear that I’m not supposed to receive Communion and my confessions are not “sacramental” because I was married outside the Church. My husband will not go to the Catholic church. What am I supposed to do, leave him???

Please help with any advice. I know God must still love me!

You are in an invalid marriage right now and need to make an appointment to talk with your priest about convalidation.

Your husband does not have to convert in order for you to have your marriage validated.

 

[Alix1912]

You are not in an Invalid marriage, your marriage is simply not recognized by the Catholic Church.

My husband did the same thing, and when he returned to the Catholic Church we went through radical sanation.

It’s really not too difficult. Meet with your priest, and then you have to write a letter explaining your situation, the priest writes one too, and you send them into the bishop, and about three weeks later you get a paper that says the Catholic Church will recognize your marriage.

 

[Phemie]

You are not in an Invalid marriage, your marriage is simply not recognized by the Catholic Church.
Why mince words, it won’t help the OP. As far as the Church is concerned her marriage is invalid due to lack of canonical form.

My husband did the same thing, and when he returned to the Catholic Church we went through radical sanation.

And until that happened the Church considered your marriage invalid.

It’s really not too difficult. Meet with your priest, and then you have to write a letter explaining your situation, the priest writes one too, and you send them into the bishop, and about three weeks later you get a paper that says the Catholic Church will recognize your marriage.