Over 30 and never married

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Jacinto1977sd

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So I’m a convert to the Catholic Church, and just recieved the Sacrament of Confirmation… I have no kids at all. And I’ve never dated or anything like that.

And I’m not into online dating or the bar/club scene at all…

So what should I do?

How can I know/discover my vocation?

p.s. I’m visually impaired=unable to drive-rely on the bus, etc etc…

But I do like to go to daily Mass, pray the Rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy daily too and I love to go to adoration…
 
Blind people marry and have children, as do others who rely on public services or other people for other reasons (including that they are not inclined to learn to drive), so being visually impaired does not mean you do not have a vocation to marry or to have children. Whether it would impede the educational attainment necessary for the priesthood would depend on the nature and extent of the visual impairment. To my knowledge, there is no prohibition, per se, on a blind or deaf man being ordained, nor are the blind or deaf summarily prohibited from monasteries or convents. It depends on whether your collection of gifts and challenges is a good match.

Since it was not that long ago that the internet did not exist and only a lunatic would look for a suitable spouse among the strangers to be found amusing themselves at drinking establishments, it is obviously not necessary to cruise bars or otherwise seek the acquaintance of total strangers in order to marry. I would suggest that getting to know the friends and relatives of people you know and admire or simply making friends among those who also spend their time in prayer and in service of the Church and of the poor is a surer route to finding those who are likely to be suitable spouses or who will introduce you to likely candidates. You might also want to look for chances to work alongside members of religious communities or to go on discernment retreats offered by a religious order that might interest you. Sometimes finding your vocation is a matter of always seeking to do the will of God one day at a time, and realizing over time whether you can follow that path best in a religious community, as a single person free to serve your parish without other attachments, or as a married person sharing a single life with a spouse with whom you will welcome whatever children God may send you, and the responsibilities particular to that state of life. In short, don’t wait to do God’s will until you’ve found your “vocation”. Look to serve God and neighbor on a daily basis (and look after yourself in a prudent manner as part of that), and let that lead you to your particular state in life. It is certainly a better way to find a holy spouse than wasting time and money in a bar or a club when neither is a place of relaxation that even interests you or your trusted friends. Bars and clubs are moral for people who enjoy them and have some limited amount of spare money and time to spend there, but there is no reason for the disinterested to cultivate an interest in them!! You’d just find someone who enjoys clubs, and what good would that be? Spend time doing what you ought to do and, in your leisure time, what you really enjoy doing with people whose company really refreshes you, and you’ll have a better chance of finding someone whose natural inclination is to do the same sort of things, instead of things that bore you or make you uncomfortable.

That was a wordy way to put it, but that’s what I’d advise.
 
Formation is most important for sure - the reason I couldn’t understand or accept qualities of myself which are abidingly spiritually oriented, not fundamentally maternal as in ever destined to have children or ever desiring them, and contemplative, happy to be silent (though I talk a whole lot at school). I teach, and see all the elementary age girls - knowing that a few of them are on some level also not destined for motherhood - but the chances of their ever learning not to aim for marriage, or not to be miserable because it never seems to ‘gel’ (that is, when they are older), are practically nil - because of their formation in public schools in a very secular culture. Very sad.

It’s so difficult to, to know anything about one’s true calling, when one hasn’t been formed in such a way that certain possibilities are ever able to come to the forefront, nor does any but the most exceptional girl have the presence of mind to buck the tide of secularism today.

My point for the original writer is: you are on the right track to a place especially for you. …In time, things will become clearer, I mean, reasons - you are more on the right track than you may be aware of, at present.
 
Discernment takes time … and patience.

Perhaps your vocation … your purpose in life … is to pray.

Start with a daily rosary … and then increase it to all 20 decades each day.

Daily Mass and Communion.

On Tuesdays and Fridays … do the Sorrowful Mysteries at church … while walking the Stations of The Cross.

Find a parish that offers Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration.

See what develops.

Sign up to take adult ed courses.

[One of the blind folks at our parish signed up for all kinds of courses … ended up being one of the best software instructors … turned out he really had a knack for it … pure talent plus interest. So you just need to try different things to see what works for you. Actively put yourself in God’s Hands. "Lord, I love You. Make me the way You want me to be. Hold me in Your Arms, Forgive me my sins and make me the way You want me to be.]
 
I got married at 40 years old and got pregnant at 40 years old.

Don’t despair, nothing is impossible to God.

Blessings and love
 
If you’re thinking of getting married, see about asking out one of the single ladies at Mass.
 
Are you kidding??? There are not many young and single ladies who go to the Mass nowadays
This. Maybe it just depends on where you live, but I attend Mass at a few different churches, depending on my weekend schedule, and I never see any women that I would consider single and age appropriate.
 
Are you kidding??? There are not many young and single ladies who go to the Mass nowadays
This. Maybe it just depends on where you live, but I attend Mass at a few different churches, depending on my weekend schedule, and I never see any women that I would consider single and age appropriate.
I’m sure it depends on where you live. I see many in both the churches I attend.
 
Unless there’s a good Theology on Tap program in the area. Can be a great way to meet faithful Catholic adults. There’s a list of local chapters on the Wikipedia page. 🙂
No, I meant there was a time in the not-so-distant past when only a lunatic would find a spouse that way.

I talked to my husband, and he agreed: If you and your friends enjoy spending some time in clubs or the like, there isn’t anything necessarily immoral about it, and you might find someone who also enjoys the kind of entertainment the establishment offers, whether that is live music or really great tapas and a nice by-the-glass wine list. But if you don’t enjoy the place or the people that congregate there, at your very luckiest you might find someone to whom you can say, “Let’s get out of here!” That’s not a high likelihood.
 
1.Many religious communities have discernment week ends. Check them out.
2.Get involved with your new parish. These days many have singles groups. Or get involved with a service group (Ladies Altar Society, choir, teach Sunday School or Religious Ed., etc…) to widen your circle and learn more aout your Church and parish.
3. Thelogy on Tap (as suggested) Communio Circles, Chesteron Societies, Aquinas study groups are all good ways to meet people and learn about your faith. See whats available in your area–or start your own group!
4. Go on a Retreat.
I hope this helps.
 
As with anybody who finds dating difficult, I’d suggest dating websites. You get your quality time with your profile. You can choose the terms on which you present yourself. You can use the Search function with some criteria to narrow down your search (or run a research project :p), and you get some information on the woman – such as photo, age, location, values, interests, job – before you decide to write to her.
 
You want to get married?
Buy a new refrigerator. I did.
My future bride sold it to me (and threw in the ice-maker to sweeten the deal!) I suppose any major appliance woud suffice. I have a friend that bought a washing machine same story😉

I used to think that a nurse who grew up on a dairy farm would be the ideal spouse—smart ('cause nurses can’t be dumb) and not pretentious ('cause you can’t have pretentions when you’re surrounded by cow manure)
I actually met a nurse who grew up on a dairy farm—she became a member of an infamous commune in Orego n:banghead:

Another method is to go to a good women’s clothing store—nothing cheap and tacky but nothing absurdley pricey either—something with sensible attractive women’s clothing. Then wait by the racks holding the size for the lady you’re looking for and soon one will happen along.👍

Or take a cooking class. Not to meet eligible girls (you’re not likely to find one taking a cooking class) but to ask the ladies you do meet if they know of any single girls you can test new recipes on.

Personally, I’d place my bets on buying a major appliance, but you do as you want:shrug:
 
So I’m a convert to the Catholic Church, and just recieved the Sacrament of Confirmation… I have no kids at all. And I’ve never dated or anything like that.

And I’m not into online dating or the bar/club scene at all…

So what should I do?

How can I know/discover my vocation?

p.s. I’m visually impaired=unable to drive-rely on the bus, etc etc…

But I do like to go to daily Mass, pray the Rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy daily too and I love to go to adoration…
Dont bother with going to a baby shower to meet women. I went to one today to maybe meet girls but the highlight of my time there was a middle aged woman telling me I am “So handsome” 😦 probably in the way a aunt would tell a nephew or mother would tell a friend of her son I am guessing. Not that I have anything againts middle aged women but im only 28! I wanna hear that from women my own age! :mad:

Ok, rant over (true story by the way) But dont rule out online dating. There may be somthing to it. I am thinking about giving it a try again, in the future. I met two great girls. Made 2 new friends (small heartbreak in one of the situations 😦 ) But hey, if I can meet even one woman through a dating site, im sure almost anyone can.

I have no experience trying to meet women in Church, though I am open to learning.
 
Dont bother with going to a baby shower to meet women.
Where I’m from no woman would consider a man attending a baby shower as anything other than either “mommy’s boy” or gay. Maybe it is different where you are. 😉
Ok, rant over (true story by the way) But dont rule out online dating. There may be somthing to it. I am thinking about giving it a try again, in the future. I met two great girls. Made 2 new friends (small heartbreak in one of the situations 😦 ) But hey, if I can meet even one woman through a dating site, im sure almost anyone can.
Both my daughters met their husbands through online dating; they and I would not knock it at all. 😃
 
Just put Jesus first in everything you do in your life, and everything that he knows is best for you and is calling you to will fall into place without you even realizing it! “Know need to fret about life little one, just add Jesus and you’ll have fun!” Haha that’s my motto! 😃
 
Just put Jesus first in everything you do in your life, and everything that he knows is best for you and is calling you to will fall into place without you even realizing it! “Know need to fret about life little one, just add Jesus and you’ll have fun!” Haha that’s my motto! 😃
You might also be tortured horribly and then martyred.
 
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