Yesterday, someone at work got good news. (the details aren’t important). I was immediately jealous and felt less than because it was something I would love to have happen to me.
After hearing this guy’s good news, I spent the rest of the day alternating between thinking uncharitable thoughts such as ‘It isn’t as good as he is making it out to be’ and ‘Just wait he will fail’ To praying ‘God help me see it through Your eyes’. and praying ‘God help me to hear and see the good you give me and follow Your will for me’
I must admit, it was exhausting to keep going through the motions and praying what I though would be best but totally went against what I wanted. (Which was to scream and cry this is not fair)
It all boils down to the sin of jealousy and pride.
Can others share how they try to overcome this?
Angie
Basically everyone, due to concupiscence, wrestles with the issue of pride in one form or another. We’re all in that same boat.
I know I’ve had envy, as well, and once went online to see what to do about it. This is just link, but there are many others.
It doesn’t seem to be the same Wikihow link, though, but it will also work.
wikihow.com/Handle-Jealousy
The link I saw said to compliment the people we are envious of.
Also, I know some on CAF have envied people, said their lives seem “perfect”. I used to work as an interpreter in mental health. Some people can seem, on the outside, that they have it all together, but you would be surprised about people who can smile, act happy and then the next minute be crying, needing medication for depression.
It’s easy to think other people have easier lives, but I’ve learned people each generally have difficulties in different areas.
My life is hard in some ways, because I have a disability. However, even so, I know some people, even on the forum, probably have it much harder than I do, truth be told.
People often won’t tell you their problems. If one has a husband who is cheating, will she tell you, probably not. She might smile, carry on, and you could think all the while she has the perfect life.
After seeing some other people’s lives, my problems also actually seemed almost small by comparison.
Oh, and if one has a problem with envy, be careful of FaceBook. FaceBook, especially, has been shown to seemingly increase whatever envy we already have. Well, people put up these smiling pictures, seem to have hundreds of “friends”. We can feel like they have better lives, easier, happier, want to envy them.
Insofar as pridefulness goes, humility is one thing.
I’ve found people who have difficulties with pridefulness often won’t say “I made a mistake”, “I’m sorry”, or “I don’t know”.
Since we’re human, we should be saying all 3 of these. No one expects us to be perfect. We should ALL be saying these 3 things from time to time. If not, we are probably coming across to others even as arrogant.
Think of pridefulness this way. Have you ever been on the receiving end of pridefulness? I’ve had some supervisors who would not, on pain of death, admit to a mistake. It was ALWAYS someone else’s fault, and they never even played a part in this.
Normally, when we have problems in relationships, be it marriages right on down, we are both to blame, at least in part. It could even be, say, 60% to 40%, but a lot of us, especially in relationship difficulties want to say the spouse is 100% responsible and us, zero.
No, as one supervisor used to say, “There are no angels”.
Now, all I am saying is to step back, try to be more objective. When we are on the receiving end of it, when someone can’t admit to a mistake, can’t even apologize, can’t admit to not knowing something, it’s hard on everyone around.
It’s much easier to work with, have a relationship with, a person who has some humility.
The antidote to pride is humilty. That’s the virtue we all need to develop. Now, we don’t need to get down on hand and knees and grovel, but when we make a mistake, realize that, we need to own up to it.
It is NOT a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. It’s a sign of confidence, maturity, responsibility.
Oh, and one last thing, recall even Peter, the earthly head of the Church, was once even corrected by Paul! Now, Peter was very humble. In all humility, he realized his error, accepted correction. This takes GREAT humility. Further, Christ corrected him who knows how many times, and Peter accepted it.
We need to be humble.
As to envy, there will always be people around better and worse, and it’s probably best to stop comparing ourselves to others. If we absolutely need to compare, compare with ourselves…before and after, and strive to become better people.
I think that would just cause unnecessary tension