Overcoming a Crush on My Priest

[augustine14]

I have posted on here previously about having a crush on my priest at college, which I was feeling very bad and guilty about. A lot of people suggested avoiding him as a way to curb my attraction. Due to winter break I haven’t seen him in three weeks, and that has helped me overcome the lust part of my attraction. I also went to confession about it, and that has helped too. However, I still think about him all the time and that is something I can’t control. Whenever a thought about him pops into my head I try to pray or think about something else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a common occurrence. I don’t see how it’s possible for me to change or control my feelings, even though I strive with earnest effort to deal with them appropriately. Are these feelings of affection by nature sinful? Is there a better way to deal with them?

 

[CatholicRaven]

Feelings are not, in and of themselves, sinful. Thoughts that just “pop into” our heads are likewise not sinful. For example, if it comes into your mind how helpful he was to you at a particular time, and you smile at the memory, and turn your thoughts to other things, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Encouraging and/or entertaining these thoughts can be sinful (especially if they are lustful).

It sounds like you are dealing with this properly, and the more you “practice” ignoring and replacing those thoughts with prayer and other thoughts, the easier it will get and the less often it will happen. It generally takes some time for those feelings of affection to “wear off,” so keep doing what you’re doing, don’t give up. And keep praying for the strength to dismiss these thoughts rather than entertain them.

It might help to make a particular sacrifice or fast for a period of time specifically in prayer for this, or to perform a penance or small mortification when you are disturbed by these thoughts (though I’d also recommend finding a spiritual director if you choose this route). Or it may help if, every time you think of him, you pray for all priests to have the strength and grace to be faithful to their vocation or something similar.

I will pray for you, too.

 

[triumphguy]

I have posted on here previously about having a crush on my priest at college, which I was feeling very bad and guilty about. A lot of people suggested avoiding him as a way to curb my attraction. Due to winter break I haven’t seen him in three weeks, and that has helped me overcome the lust part of my attraction. I also went to confession about it, and that has helped too. However, I still think about him all the time and that is something I can’t control. Whenever a thought about him pops into my head I try to pray or think about something else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a common occurrence. I don’t see how it’s possible for me to change or control my feelings, even though I strive with earnest effort to deal with them appropriately. Are these feelings of affection by nature sinful? Is there a better way to deal with them?

Do you obsess about other things? Maybe it’s part of psychological problem.

Perhaps seek counselling.

 

[ready]

I have posted on here previously about having a crush on my priest at college, which I was feeling very bad and guilty about. A lot of people suggested avoiding him as a way to curb my attraction. Due to winter break I haven’t seen him in three weeks, and that has helped me overcome the lust part of my attraction. I also went to confession about it, and that has helped too. However, I still think about him all the time and that is something I can’t control. Whenever a thought about him pops into my head I try to pray or think about something else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a common occurrence. I don’t see how it’s possible for me to change or control my feelings, even though I strive with earnest effort to deal with them appropriately. Are these feelings of affection by nature sinful? Is there a better way to deal with them?

Whenever thoughts of him come to you, continue to do as you are doing: pray and think other thoughts … you will gain merit for heaven each and every time you do so. Thoughts about this priest are sinful when you entertain them and do not try to get rid of them, so just try your hardest to put this priest out of your mind and do not to think about him. If you willfully start to think about him, you will be putting yourself in the near occasion of sin (of lusting), which is a sin in itself, so do not allow yourself to think about this priest. God bless you.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

you might think this is really silly, but if a person gets recurring thoughts which are improper., put cloths pegs on your ear lobes.,its just an irritating light pain.but it gets your mind off that and onto your ears…then go for a run…

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I have posted on here previously about having a crush on my priest at college, which I was feeling very bad and guilty about. A lot of people suggested avoiding him as a way to curb my attraction. Due to winter break I haven’t seen him in three weeks, and that has helped me overcome the lust part of my attraction. I also went to confession about it, and that has helped too. However, I still think about him all the time and that is something I can’t control. Whenever a thought about him pops into my head I try to pray or think about something else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a common occurrence. I don’t see how it’s possible for me to change or control my feelings, even though I strive with earnest effort to deal with them appropriately. Are these feelings of affection by nature sinful? Is there a better way to deal with them?

It’s not a sin to feel an attraction to someone, even physically. That’s how God made us. Just don’t act on them.

 

[SighGuy]

You’re in a tough spot. There’s not really an easy fix. Keep praying, pray to your guardian angel as well. Try to remember that as soon as you start to think much about him, you ought to move around. If you’re lying down or sitting around, you’ll never shake it.

Only time and prayer will help, there. Rest assured, God allows you to be tempted so that you can earn merit. Try to be thankful… I know it seems like nothing to be thankful for, but God’s letting you work for your entry into Heaven, by saying yes to the new woman that you are becoming, the one following God’s will!

There was a time I was so wracked with lustful or even just romantic desires that I was in almost agony every day. It was all I thought of, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. I cursed life and knocked my head against the floor, I was so wretched. I slept as much as I could so I wouldn’t risk offending God. It was a really dark time in my life. I hope that if you know how bad it was for me, maybe you will feel like you’re not on your own.

The thing I’ve noticed is, my challenges are every bit as dire as they ever were, but my ability to handle them has increased, because of God’s graces. Don’t give up… Meditations on Judas have helped me a lot. His remorse for his sin, and the greater sin, his despair of God’s mercy.

The thoughts, the desire to think about him, that’s not sinful. Indulging those thoughts is sinful. But, at least, if you do stumble, don’t make Judas’ mistake of despair, but remember that God is infinitely loving and supporting of you.

 

[powerofk]

Honestly, sometimes the harder we try not to think about something, the more we think about it. Passing thoughts are not sinful, they’re simply temptations. Sometimes crushes are hard to break, of course, but with due time, it will pass. Just don’t act on the thoughts (in other words, don’t flirt with the priest).

 

[ready]

Honestly, sometimes the harder we try not to think about something, the more we think about it. Passing thoughts are not sinful, they’re simply temptations.

Yes, this is true, Augustine. Replace your thoughts about the priest with thoughts about Jesus or Mary, or with thoughts about an activity that you really enjoy, etc… My point is that you must replace your thoughts with other thoughts, unless you can just drop tempting thoughts like you would a stone falling to the ground. God bless you.

 

[EGP]

I understand your feelings. I myself, a mature woman in her 50’s, have a crush on my priest. I have had it now for about over 4 years now. It was New Years eve and I decided to return to the church and attend Mass regularly. There at the alter was the priest in regards: what a site, I was like "who is that!!?? I thought I was BAD for having these feelings, (being married to a grump, or going through a middle aged crisis). I decided I cant fight them, so enjoy them. I dont have salacious thoughts, just romantic in nature like I would if he were a movie star or celebrity. Hey, I think he is super handsome and very smart. I enjoy when he says Mass. He’s delivers the Mass with such great talent. I gave in to the fact that I cant fight the feelings I have, which I admit are a crush. I have no intentions of acting on them because I am simply not looking to have a affair or a relationship even if something happens to my husband. I feel like a teenager again which is nice. Live and let live. I will miss him if and when he leaves the parish and wish him the best. You’ll be OK.

 

[ShrodingersCat]

Honestly, sometimes the harder we try not to think about something, the more we think about it. Passing thoughts are not sinful, they’re simply temptations. Sometimes crushes are hard to break, of course, but with due time, it will pass. Just don’t act on the thoughts (in other words, don’t flirt with the priest).

This! I had a crush on my local priest as a teenager, it passed

 

[DesertSnowdrop]

As someone who has had crushes on two priests, I recommend working not on ignoring the feelings you have but working on transforming them into a chaste love for your priest. Pray for his vocation, his purity and his strength. Pray for him a lot for there will be many women who will lust after him and many will not be shy and modest about it. Love him as you love Christ, love him in Christ. Work on loving instead of lusting. Love is good and holy, it will be harder to lust if you genuinely love him as a priest and brother in Christ.

I know about a dozen gorgeous, funny, and smart priests. Loving them all is the only thing that saves me from lust!

 

[EGP]

well said…thankyou!

 

[InLight247]

As someone who has had crushes on two priests, I recommend working not on ignoring the feelings you have but working on transforming them into a chaste love for your priest. Pray for his vocation, his purity and his strength. Pray for him a lot for there will be many women who will lust after him and many will not be shy and modest about it. Love him as you love Christ, love him in Christ. Work on loving instead of lusting. Love is good and holy, it will be harder to lust if you genuinely love him as a priest and brother in Christ.

I know about a dozen gorgeous, funny, and smart priests. Loving them all is the only thing that saves me from lust!

This is so well said. We should love all our priests and pray for them daily. Without priests, there will be no Eucharist and no Sacrament of Confession. Priests are the number one target of the devil. Therefore, it is everyone’s obligation to earnestly pray for priests everyday. Praying for priests is every faithful’s obligation, not a choice. God bless!

 

[Faith1960]

This is so well said. We should love all our priests and pray for them daily. Without priests, there will be no Eucharist and no Sacrament of Confession. Priests are the number one target of the devil. Therefore, it is everyone’s obligation to earnestly pray for priests everyday. Praying for priests is every faithful’s obligation, not a choice. God bless!

Can you give some examples of prayers we should pray for our priests?

 

[CRATUS]

Lol. I have had crushes on priests. I do not think it is wrong. Avoid sin but does everything have to be treated like WW3. There are moments I think people need to relax. Helping the poor is more productive than worrying about sin. As a long as you are not entertaining impure thoughts or seducing him, what is the harm in a crush? There are way worse things.

 

[CatholicRaven]

Can you give some examples of prayers we should pray for our priests?

There are many available online and on holy cards or prayer booklets, or you can use your own words, of course. Here are a couple I know of:

From the USCCB website:
Gracious and loving God, we thank you for the gift of our priests.
Through them, we experience your presence in the sacraments.
Help our priests to be strong in their vocation.
Set their souls on fire with love for your people.
Grant them the wisdom, understanding, and strength they need to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.
Inspire them with the vision of your Kingdom.
Give them the words they need to spread the Gospel.
Allow them to experience joy in their ministry.
Help them to become instruments of your divine grace.
We ask this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns as our Eternal Priest.
Amen.

From Endow:
*O Jesus, we pray for your faithful and fervent priests, your unfaithful and lukewarm priests, your priests laboring at home or abroad in distant mission fields, your tempted priests, your lonely and desolate priests, your young priests, your old priests, and the souls of your priests in purgatory.

We pray for your priests in special need of spiritual, emotional, or physical healing, for priests who have left the Church, and for the souls of the priests who will die today.

But above all, we recommend to you the priests dearest to us: the priests who baptized us, the priests who absolve us from our sins, the priests at whose Masses we assist and who give us your Body and Blood in Holy Communion, the priests who teach and instruct us; all the priests to whom we are indebted in any way.

O Jesus, keep them all close to your heart and bless them abundantly in time and in eternity. Amen.*

 

[InLight247]

Can you give some examples of prayers we should pray for our priests?

I pray the following prayer daily for priests.

Prayer for priests

O Jesus, I pray for your faithful and fervent priests,
for the unfaithful and tepid ones; for those who are
tempted; for those who are lonely and desolate;
for those who are falsely accused; for those who are
persecuted; for those who are sick, for those who are dying;
for those who are in purgatory; for those who are on their
way to destruction. Help them all, O Lord.

I ask that You give them Your grace, Your presence
in their hearts, Your holiness and truth in their souls,
Your joy in their spirits. Let them see you in the breaking
of the Eucharistic bread. Help all Your priests be faithful
to the Church’s teachings. Guide them to preach and teach
as they should. Make them good shepherds.

I especially recommend to You the priests dearest to me;
the priest who baptized me; the priests who absolved me
from my sins; the priests at whose Masses I have assisted
and received Your body and blood in Holy Communion;
the priests who helped me by their encouragement.
In particular I pray for … (mention the names…)
O Jesus, keep them all close to your heart
and bless them all abundantly now and in eternity.

We earnestly pray to You, O Lord, through Mary,
the mother of all priests and our mother, for Your
priests and ours. Amen.

I also pray the Rosary for priests.

 

[EGP]

I understand your feelings. I myself, have a crush on my priest. I have had it now for about over 4 years now. It was New Years eve and I decided to return to the church and attend Mass regularly. There at the alter was the priest in regards: what a site, I was like "who is that!!?? I thought I was BAD for having these feelings, going through a middle aged crisis or something. I decided I cant fight them, so enjoy them. I dont have salacious thoughts, just romantic in nature like I would if he were a movie star or celebrity. Hey, I think he is super handsome and very smart. I enjoy when he says Mass. He’s delivers the Mass with such great talent. I gave in to the fact that I cant fight the feelings I have, which I admit are a crush. I have no intentions of acting on them because I am simply not looking to have an affair or a relationship. I feel like a teenager again, which is nice. Live and let live. I will miss him if and when he leaves the parish and wish him the best. You’ll be OK.

 

[EGP]

I understand your feelings. I myself, a mature woman in her 50’s, have a crush on my priest. I have had it now for about over 4 years now. It was New Years eve and there at the alter was the priest in regards: what a site, I was like "who is that!!?? I thought I was BAD for having those feelings or going through a middle aged crisis. I decided I cant fight them, so enjoy them. I dont have salacious thoughts, just romantic in nature like I would if he were a movie star or celebrity. Hey, I think he is super handsome and very smart. I enjoy when he says Mass. He’s delivers the Mass with such great talent. I gave in to the fact that I cant fight the feelings I have, which I admit are a crush. I have no intentions of acting on them because I am simply not looking to have an affair. I feel like a teenager again which is nice. Live and let live. I will miss him if and when he leaves the parish and wish him the best. You’ll be OK.