Overcoming Lust...how?

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Not sure how to start this topic so I guess just jumping right to it works.

How have you overcome the temptations of lust?

I feel like I struggle with it a great deal but I want to be rid of it. Sins of the flesh are the most common reason of lost souls, and I really don’t want that to happen to me. Or any of my brothers and sisters for that matter.

So, what tips and suggestions do you have on mastering this sin?

Thank you and God bless!
 
Sorry to clarify/ confess when you need to, and go to mass every week
 
Echoing the above suggestions, but also adding:

Depending on what you struggle with, there are a surprising number of even secular communities known by pornfree and nofap that could be of help to you. Not asking you to divulge any detail about what your struggle is, but just passing along these terms for you to research. There are accountability programs available in these and similar communities, and suggestions from collective experience on how to defeat these types of sins.

God bless you
 
First, I’ll give you the same advice a good priest gave me once:
Have a strong devotion to St. Joseph.

Also you must stay in constant watch, and avoid things that might lead you towards sin.
Last but not least, avoid being scrupulous.
 
I definitely can understand the constant watch. After years of allowing this sin to consume me it’s proven to be beyond challenging to change my habits and views. And Thank you for the tip of avoiding scrupulosity.

Thank you and God Bless!

Edit: Would you recommend this @loannes_L

(https://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/prayers/stjoe2.htm)
 
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Prayer, Bible study, Mass, The Rosary, The Divine Mercy Chaplet, immersing myself in good things like Catholic movies, Catholic forums, etc. Besides, who likes going to confession and saying “I watched pornography, masturbated 3 times, lusted after my neighbor, etc”… It’s just not a fun experience, that and you know the whole offending God situation!
 
@causer00000 EVERY TIME!!! ha ha ha…I’m just thinking…well, gotta say that sin…AGAIN! 🤦‍♂️

You’d think that having to say it again and again in confession would be deterrent enough but clearly we need more. Total lifestyle change through prayer and intercession.

Thank you for the advice!

God Bless
 
Knight said:
well, gotta say that sin…AGAIN! 🤦‍♂️
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That’s why sometimes I’ll do the whole face to face confession, makes it that much more enjoyable (that’s sarcasm btw). Isn’t it great that we have the option of confession though? His mercy is so great.

Stay strong, God bless.
 
My suggestion is first, get a good solid definition of lust. Determine what it is and go from there. There are oh so many people that consider normal human sexual arousal and desire as lust. It isn’t. The desire we humans have is wired in us and guess who did the wiring. (Hint - the Big Guy). For me, the operative definition of lust is normal human sexual desire, corrupted by both malice and intent.
I’ve often asked the question, what is the difference between lust and appreciation? It usually gets a laugh and I don’t know why. Attraction and appreciation of another is normal, it is good, it is when you corrupt it by objectifying another with a malice desire to use that person only for your own personal animal gratification, that you are dealing with lust.
My $.02.
 
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Having had this problem and gotten it under control, I have a counterpoint to all the advice given here. Prayer is great, but it is often a balm proposed by people who don’t have a serious lust problem or understand someone who does. You can pray all you want, but that just makes you think about it more. It also makes your feel guilty, which paradoxically makes the problem worse. Confession helps some, because it makes you talk about with someone who cares, is knowledgeable and discrete and it frees you from the counterproductive guilt.

But you have to accept that lust is a habitual behavior in addition to being a moral issue. To solve it, you have to use behavioral modification techniques to solve it. Here is what I did:
  • You have to decide you are going to change and you are going to change because you want to, not because you think you “should.” There is no doubt you should, but “should-ing on yourself” does not change behaviors. You have to really want to make the change.
  • You have to be accountable to that decision. As I said above, Confession helps some, because it is a means of accountability. It is not sufficient in itself, but it helps.
  • Having decided, you have to have a “zero negotiation” policy with yourself. No ifs, ands, maybes or buts. You will not make excuses for the behaviors you’ve decided to change.
  • You have to decide that lust will not own you. It will not control you. You will be in control. FWIW, that alone was enough motivation for me.
  • Most people, though, can’t just eliminate undesired behaviors, they have to replace them and find alternate behaviors. The old “cold shower” thing is probably trite and ineffective, but that is the basic idea. Here is an admittedly extreme solution I thought of: If you do 10 pushups every single time you have a lustful thought, and do it immediately, your brain will start to retrain itself. If doing 10 pushups is inconvenient or publically embarrassing, that’s actually even better. FWIW, I didn’t go to that extreme, but I would have if nothing else worked.
  • Finally, be prepared to fall. You will not succeed straightaway. When you fall, go to Confession and pick up where you left off. Know that you will get there if you don’t give up. The only way to fail is to stop trying.
 
I love these videos! Fr Mike is always spot on and delivers these messages with complete charity.

Thank you for sending this to me @(name removed by moderator).

God Bless
 
@Ioannes_L You know how there are times when God just seems to be talking to you if you just listen?

Just wanted to share this with you and anyone else reading. I have a ‘Daily Companion for Men’ book I picked up from the church gift shop and it has daily scripture and saint quotes with a reflection and a prayer for every day of the year. I hadn’t picked it up for the last few days and just opened it a few moments ago.

I decided to re read the introduction and see what was in the back pages. Lo and behold it’s the devotion to St Joseph!

I literally uttered ‘you’ve got to be kidding me!’

😁

Thank you again and God Bless.
 
Do women have easier way to maintain pure?
I dont know
But one thing is real
The more you are engaged in porn, the harder it will be to get out
If you had one time accident(which I of course dont recommend but it may happen) then you will probably be sorry for this and will be easier to stay pure. But only with strong faith.

If youve been doing it for a long time, your sexuality is based on trash called porn, then your body and mind wont let you get out easy. You wont do this, but you will have filthy dreams. Your body was used to obtain pleasure by this and wont give this up easily. Body accustomed will have to learn healthy way. You will be stressed, it will be disturbing. And the stronger are temptations.
 
Good advice here. I’ll add that the old cliche “one day at a time” is actually quite applicable here. It’s pretty easy to go 24 hours without doing something, no matter if it’s the sin in question or drinking or watching tv or anything else. If you start your day by firmly saying "I’m not doing (insert sin) today, and really mean it, you should be good for that day.
 
Knight said:
Not sure how to start this topic so I guess just jumping right to it works.

How have you overcome the temptations of lust?

I feel like I struggle with it a great deal but I want to be rid of it. Sins of the flesh are the most common reason of lost souls, and I really don’t want that to happen to me. Or any of my brothers and sisters for that matter.

So, what tips and suggestions do you have on mastering this sin?

Thank you and God bless!
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Long suffering and patient practice, which is what virtue is made of. You don’t necessarily get rid of temptations. You still have them but you develop self mastery.
 
Try fasting. Go about your day without eating or drinking. There’s something about fasting that makes your spiritual heart pulsate. I fast from time to time. Never have I fasted without being protected from lust. Jesus said that if you fast, the Father will reward you. One of the ways He rewards me is by protecting me from lust. What He does for me, He can do for you.

Fasting can help tremendously. It’s a very underrated practice, in my opinion. It’s scriptural, too.
 
Personally, it was something I started taking seriously shortly before coming into the Church. That wasn’t long ago, so obviously it is still a struggle, though it is definitely a “struggle” and not just me being beat down anymore.

Anyways, a few things that helped, were:
  • The commitment itself was an important step.
  • The Rosary and praying it after a major failing. The Fourth Sorrowful Mystery is really good when also thinking about non-sinful things that might contribute to the problem (e.g. being single).
  • Confession done face-to-face. It may not be the best motivator, in that ideally we just love Jesus enough to not do it. However, it can be a good motivator. Obviously, confession itself helps a lot in general, even when not done face-to-face, and it should be done ASAP. (Thankfully, I’m blessed with a parish that does daily confession.) I was also pretty blunt in confession and didn’t hold back on how badly I failed.
  • I completely cut all pornographic content out of my life. This won’t stop temptation and thoughts from entering your mind, but over time, it does make them less frequent.
  • Along with the above, I also started going to great lengths to cut out content that could lead me to thinking about stuff I had viewed in the past. This included multiple subreddits where sexual stuff is talked about or shown, two of my favorite YouTubers who tend to make sexual jokes, and a ton of music that was sexual in nature.
  • To keep my mind busy, I basically started listening to music whenever I was doing nothing. I know some will tell me to pray during those times, but I found music better at preventing my mind from wandering during those times.
  • I started meditating (i.e. doing Lectio Divina) on why the sin was so awful.
  • I made various changes in my daily routine that addressed areas where I was left vulnerable. (Sorry, I’m not comfortable sharing more than that.)
  • I started praying this prayer daily and before each Mass I attended. I also have a version of this prayer on my phone that I could pull up as needed.
  • Basically commit each time temptation comes to not give in and takes steps to avoid giving in. This was made a bit easier when I started putting up prayer cards one of the priests gave me on confession around my apartment. The prayers are on the back, but the images on the front help reorient my mind.
To be honest, none of this will immediately stop the problem. There have been times where I was discouraged because it felt like there was nothing left to change but to resist more. Over time, the problem has become a lot less serious than it used to be.
 
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