Overdose of Catholicism

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I love being Catholic and I want to grow closer to God everyday. It is hard when one lives in a secualr society as I am sure most people have experienced. But it doesn’t change the fact there are times when I would like to do things that aren’t faith centered. LIke shopping, going for a walk, telling clean jokes or going to a famly movie.

I am finding that some people I meet at Catholic events are only interested in doing Catholic activities. Like going to every seminar and conference within a 200 mile radius. Personally I am getting bored with it.

Is it really wrong to sometimes just want to relax and have innocent fun without Catholisism being at the forefront of my mind. I find the only people I can do that with are secular and that gets tricky because sinful behaviours can easily creep in

 

[Yeoman]

I live in one of the least religious states in the country and, further, one where Catholics are definitely a minority. Maybe that gives me a bit of a different prospective. Catholics are a strong minority here, and distinctive enough that people will comment on being a Catholic if they know that you are, but a minority none the less.

Anyhow, I don’t think that a person has to do all Catholic stuff by any means, if you will. The challenge is to be a Catholic all the time. That’s how I view it. I don’t hang out with all Catholic workers, but I’m always a Catholic at work, I hope. Basically, I’m a Catholic out in the world and I hope that that my Catholicism shows in the world.

Flipping this around, I think one of the real problems Catholics have in the world today is that frankly a lot of our religious are never out in the world. I’ve had priests that were the exception, whom I could talk to about outdoor sports and the like. But not often. My current priest would be nearly impossible to talk to anything about other than strictly religious things. That’s a problem in my view. It’s hard to convert the masses if you can’t walk among them and not talk to them about something that interests them.

 

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maybe I didn’t express myself properly. The point I am trying to make is I am so fed up with these people only wanting to go to Catholic events, I just want to ring their necks (yes I am that angry). It almost makes me not want to be near them anymore

 

[angel12]

Is it really wrong to sometimes just want to relax and have innocent fun without Catholisism being at the forefront of my mind. I find the only people I can do that with are secular an

No, not a bit. And those who want to do only Catholic things aren’t wrong, either. We’re all different, and enjoy different things. I, for example, love reading. And I read a lot about saints and the Church. But I also enjoy fiction.

 

[MT1926]

maybe I didn’t express myself properly. The point I am trying to make is I am so fed up with these people only wanting to go to Catholic events, I just want to ring their necks (yes I am that angry). It almost makes me not want to be near them anymore

Not to down play what you say here but this caught my eye because your situation is the exact opposite of mine. The Catholic men in my men’s club only want to do secular things to the point that I want to ring their necks.

The way I see it is there is only so much time in the day and we all have our priorities. I shouldn’t judge them for not wanting to go on retreats or incorporate more Bible study into our meetings. And it drives me crazy that they judge me for not wanting to go to ball games or breweries.

I don’t mean to come of preachy, but I think that is the point that I am trying to make here. I believe you might be judging them to harshly just because they don’t have the time to do what you like to do. For me the reason I don’t like to do secular activities with the men is because my plate is already full taking care of kids, parents and my mother in-law. No offense to them but do they honestly believe I would rather plan a free evening with them at the bar instead of time with my wife?

Sorry for the rant.

Anyway, I think the point I’m making here is if Jesus blessed you with the free time for shopping, going for a walk, telling clean jokes or going to a famly movie. Then by all means go with the secular people. Be a Catholic beacon of hope to them. Stay strong in your Catholic faith, when it gets tricky be the one to steer the conversation or the behavior in a different direction. Be their guide, be their conscience. You would be amazed how people act the way they do because they don’t believe it matters to the people around them. If you show them it matters you just might be the one to save a soul.

1 Corinthians 9:22

To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.

Stay strong

God Bless

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It’s not wrong to want to do some secular things.
You don’t have to make friends only with people from church.

I recommend learning to enjoy secular stuff on your own or else expanding your interests to include some hobbies that don’t revolve around religion, and joining some groups for those, so you meet people who share the secular interest in whatever it is.

I have plenty of non-Catholic or non-religious friends who I can meet up with from time to time to do something that doesn’t involve religion and doesn’t end up being sinful either. Or even just talk online with them about something that’s not Catholic or religious.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

maybe I didn’t express myself properly. The point I am trying to make is I am so fed up with these people only wanting to go to Catholic events, I just want to ring their necks (yes I am that angry). It almost makes me not want to be near them anymore

I know people like that. I just stop being around them. They don’t change. One friend I had was 7 years older than me and was like that. I was surprised when I heard her name with my sister in law who is 12 years younger. Turns out my friend is still hanging out and going to young adult focused offerings even in her 40’s. Hanging around 20 year olds. Ick. I love diverse groups but I have no desire to hang out with kids.

If you are interested in different things use meetup.com or Facebook groups to find people. I have hiked and kayaked, geo cashed and kitted, wrote and drew with all sorts of people…some serious Catholics and others who were…less so.

 

[Crusader30]

Secluar entertainments must be used only as a source of enjoyment but never forget your duties before God and the Church

 

[Yeoman]

maybe I didn’t express myself properly. The point I am trying to make is I am so fed up with these people only wanting to go to Catholic events, I just want to ring their necks (yes I am that angry). It almost makes me not want to be near them anymore

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati was a devoted mountain climber.

A priest I was friends with was a real fan of fly fishing.

A priest my father was really good friends with was a devoted upland bird hunter, as was my father. When they got together, they talked about. . . bird hunting.

I once, as a child, had the occasion to ride in a pickup truck with two priests, my parents, and the Bishop. Long story. The Bishop talked about. . . fishing.

A contemplative nun that lived near some property we had used to come to our property, to fish.

Be a Catholic at all times. . .but you aren’t a monk nor a nun. And even they do go out in the world, or should, in my view.

Indeed, how else are we going to be an example to anyone if we are never seen by anyone, anywhere?

 

[bassmansteiny]

I do a lot of Catholic activities. I also do a lot of secular, morally acceptable though, activities. I go to Buffalo Wild Wings on Thursday night’s to get out have a drink n dinner and watch a game. I go to Rock/Metal concerts and car shows. I used to play in Rock/Metal bands, currently taking a break. Love to camp, ride 4 wheelers up north on the trails, go hiking and ect. I am the only Catholic in those groups of friends, several of them are Christian, just not Catholic Christian. Some of my friends are also, I guess I would say agnostic.

So no I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to do secular things. As long as it is not something immoral, and I am not insinuating that you would ever do this, like a strip club or something like that as an example. Live your life as a Catholic but that does not mean everything you do has to be a Catholic activity. I do things with Catholics in my KofC council and with my mom Catholic friends, no reason you can’t do both.

 

[semper_catholicus]

Is it really wrong to sometimes just want to relax and have innocent fun without Catholisism being at the forefront of my mind

No. There isn’t anything wrong with having leisurely fun in moderation. In fact, it is a virtue.

 

[Yeoman]

This discussion reminds me of a conversation I once had with my good friend Fr. Jerry. I had just come back from a trip visiting some religious sites and was encouraging Fr. Jerry to go on some similar ones. His response was, “I live in a Church, why the hell would I want to go on vacation to a Church?!” Good point, but there are some people out there who jump inside the Bible, shut the door and never come out. If that makes them happy, who am I to judge.

Indeed, I think some of the people who do that are Priests. Good for Father Jerry.

I really think that one of the things we need to start seeing if there’s really going to be a New Evangelization is to see some Priests out there doing stuff, including Guy Stuff.

Indeed, the movie cliche of seeing a Catholic Priest at an Irish American bar or a baseball game is a lot more fiction than reality. My local priests goes for walks as he prays along the river, but I’d really like to see him down at a local burger joint having a hamburger and a beer from time to time, or at a baseball game. But I’m not likely too.

Comfort is a funny thing. We can get too comfortable in our own surroundings. . . including clerics.

 

[Irishmom2]

Maybe make some friends outside of church based on your hobbies or interests.

 

[meltzerboy2]

I agree. I know I don’t want to do ANYTHING (including talking about religion and doing religious things) ALL the time. I think in life most people need some diversity. But I would not judge those who prefer religious activities all the time. To each his own.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

No, you do not have to walk around all day with hands clasped and eyes uplifted singing hallelujah choruses 24/7.
Secular doesn’t mean bad. You have freedom to enjoy the secular world, too.

On our human nature, “too much” of anything will wear us out, whether it’s food or sex or religion or work or what have you.
Strive for balance.
Be at peace!

 

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I don’t mean to come of preachy, but I think that is the point that I am trying to make here. I believe you might be judging them to harshly just because they don’t have the time to do what you like to do. For me the reason I don’t like to do secular activities with the men is because my plate is already full taking care of kids, parents and my mother in-law. No offense to them but do they honestly believe I would rather plan a free evening with them at the bar instead of time with my wife?

I can see how your cricumstances are different and you are coming from a different angle so I understand your dilemna. However, there are some of them that I don’t think it is a time issue but rather just a differnt type of personality. For some reason I am starting to dread being around them at Catholic events because of the subtle guilt trips to always go to these events

 

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I agree it is about personal preference. IMO the perfect solution would be to appreciate the Catholic events I do with these people and feel respected for wanting to do other things without them. However, I am starting to feel like when I am around them I have to shut of certain aspects of my personality which I am starting to resent

 

[PetraG]

Is it really wrong to sometimes just want to relax and have innocent fun without Catholisism being at the forefront of my mind. I find the only people I can do that with are secular and that gets tricky because sinful behaviours can easily creep in

Too bad your pastor doesn’t have free time to spend with you and your family, because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t spend his entire day off going to conferences and Bible studies instead of enjoying time with friends.

Look at the daily schedule at a monastery. They have recreational time, time when they do art or play ping pong or do any number of things that are neither industrious nor liturgical nor quietly reflective. The seminaries very often forbid work at these times. I have heard more than one diocesan priest refer to it jokingly as “forced fun,” but not because they were against it.

The right amount of leisure time is a good thing, and even those who have vowed themselves to a life of prayer and prayerful work in a radical way recognize this! I remember my dad telling a story told by one of the monks who taught at the seminary where he went to high school. The question had come up during a recreational time conversation among the monks concerning what each would do if they found out the Lord was coming back in 30 minutes. The conclusion was to do whatever was ordained for the time. If that was recreation, so be it. The the proper thing for the Lord to find you doing during recreation time is enjoying some recreation.

If other people don’t get enough conferences in, that is their affair, but it is possible for people to go through a bit of a mania for those things. It certainly can be overdone: more is not automatically better.

 

[PetraG]

However, I am starting to feel like when I am around them I have to shut of certain aspects of my personality which I am starting to resent.

Don’t “shut off” being yourself in order to meet someone else’s expectations. Instead, if they disapprove of you doing perfectly acceptable things, call them on it. Do it gently, but stick up for down-to-earth common sense. The life of faith doesn’t require a lot of conferences or a bookshelf full of religious self-help books.

Resentment comes from submitting to what we believe are unreasonable expectations or the wielding of authority by those who do not rightly have the authority they’re wielding over us. The first question to ask is whether they are really forcing you to act in a false way or if it is not actually your desire to impress them that is doing this to you. That isn’t to say that they aren’t acting as if you ought to be concerned with impressing them. That is to say that it is a good practice to do what a well-informed conscience tells you is actually right rather than doing what impresses those who you know will judge you about whether they think you are “righteous” and treat you better or worse accordingly.

A well-formed conscience will not tell you that you need to spend every minute doing things that someone else will praise you for doing. If your conscience is telling you that, it is OK to work on reforming it to a more grounded standard.

The root word for “humility” implies that the humble are literally grounded or “down to earth,” after all. That’s the direction real humility will lead you. Living as a down-to-earth person is a serene place to live; you can look at the cloistered monks and nuns and see that.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

It’s also possible that the people at these events are thrilled to meet another Catholic they can relate to