Overhearing bad talk about boss

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Latinitas

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Hi everyone,

Well, I work as a tutor here on campus for the school, and I like my boss and my job a lot, even though it’s really boring at times (since practically no one comes), and I’m very thankful for the opportunity, but tonight, I heard two people behind me saying really negative things about my boss, with a whole host of vulgar words and other inappropriate things, and I felt really awkward, and I wanted to say something, since I feel obliged not to just be complicit by silence (silence is agreement), but I literally drew a blank, and so I pretended to forget something and walk away, but I know this was not the right response, and I feel terrible about it.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to say, if it happens again (what happened, happened; I can’t repeat it)? I don’t want to sound puritanical and Pharisaical, since that only often hardens attitudes, but I don’t want to just walk with them and say nothing. If this was my family or future wife (or, God forbid, Jesus Christ or the Faith), I’d feel horrible if I just said nothing, but I literally can’t/couldn’t think of anything to say.

Thanks much!
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
 
Latinitas said:
Hi everyone,

Well, I work as a tutor here on campus for the school, and I like my boss and my job a lot, even though it’s really boring at times (since practically no one comes), and I’m very thankful for the opportunity, but tonight, I heard two people behind me saying really negative things about my boss, with a whole host of vulgar words and other inappropriate things, and I felt really awkward, and I wanted to say something, since I feel obliged not to just be complicit by silence (silence is agreement), but I literally drew a blank, and so I pretended to forget something and walk away, but I know this was not the right response, and I feel terrible about it.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to say, if it happens again (what happened, happened; I can’t repeat it)? I don’t want to sound puritanical and Pharisaical, since that only often hardens attitudes, but I don’t want to just walk with them and say nothing. If this was my family or future wife (or, God forbid, Jesus Christ or the Faith), I’d feel horrible if I just said nothing, but I literally can’t/couldn’t think of anything to say.

Thanks much!
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
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Well, we’re all more naturally inclined to protect our family I would say.

I’m not really sure what the best way to approach this is. Sometimes, correction actually makes things worse. :o

I would actually speak to a priest about it and get his advice.
 
I agree with asking a priest how to handle this. 👍

However, I have an out too… I have three little ones, four years, and 15 months at home and I occationally work with other young children. What I usually do when the profanity and vulgarity pop-up around me, I gently state, that with the little ones in my house and because I am working with other young children that I am trying to stop using such words and it would help me if they wouldn’t use them around me so that I can break the habit.

Now, that has been received very well by some (usually other parents 🙂 ) and not so well by others (usually the younger singles whom seem to need to use the F-Bomb every other word).; however, it has helped cut the gossip around me and the use of such vulgarity and hasn’t really effected my social-state at work - those same people sit at the table with me… and when the occational word slips, they actually say “excuse me - sorry, Z” and I usually respond that we’re human and smile - they make the effort and I have to be happy with what I get, and I am.
 
If these people were just walking behind you but not with you, their conversation is really none of your business and they will probably not take it well if you try to correct them. Now, if they are in a group talking with you, that’s another story.
 
Sunbreak said:
If these people were just walking behind you but not with you, their conversation is really none of your business and they will probably not take it well if you try to correct them. Now, if they are in a group talking with you, that’s another story.
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Yeah, they were just walking behind me, but I still felt obliged to at least say something. Maybe I’m not.

*Benedicat Deus *,
Latinitas
 
Latinitas said:
Yeah, they were just walking behind me, but I still felt obliged to at least say something. Maybe I’m not.

*Benedicat Deus *,
Latinitas
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It seems that you were ease dropping and their conversation, even though you don’t like it, was between them.

The best you could’ve done possibly, is gently join them in conversation by changing the subject.

Jim
 
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