Overwhelmed by life

[CountryMom27]

I’m feeling completely overwhelmed, and at my brother’s advice, have given it up to God, but I still feel overwhelmed and unsure about what to do. I pray for guidance, for help, for comfort but there is little.

I am overwhelmed because I am:

• a SAHM to two boys, ages 2 & 4 and coordinate all of the house and child stuff associated with running our family
• a part-time grad student - thankfully I took this summer off.
• a part-time instructor for a graduate class (co-teaching with DH) that just started
• a part-time consultant for a client of DH’s (to help him out)
• conservator for my dad’s cousin, who has advanced stage Alzheimer’s. I handle all of her personal and legal affairs. Currently I’m selling her house, looking for a new nursing home placement, trying to fix her back taxes mess with the state and feds, coordinating her medical care, and talking to the staff because she’s having issues with falling.
• managing our household affairs, which includes getting the cars to the mechanics, electrician to fix the wiring, dry cleaning, swimming lessons, etc.

and then everything else in life - a little volunteer work, trying to stay in shape, getting together with friends, cleaning the house, laundry, groceries, what-have-you.

We have no time, no extra $ so pretty much I have to cook every meal (McDonald’s is a luxury now that gas is $4.3/g). And the pressure is on DH and me to try to consult and teach a little bit more on the side to help pay for what is going to be an enormous heating oil bill.

I feel like we just can’t get ahead - financially to a certain extent, but more time-wise. We have so little time for ourselves and I am so tired.

I’m not sure what I need - just a little peace I guess, and maybe for things to ease. I’m spread so thin that I don’t feel like I’m as good a mom as I should be although I know in my heart that’s not true. I don’t want to sound like I’m having a pity party, I’m just so tired.

Is life this complicated for everyone? I know everyone has their own crosses to bear, but mine just seem to be getting heavier and heavier. The only comfort I find is in Mass and when I get a few minutes with DH at night. How do you lighten the load?

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**First off, it’s ok to have a pity party! As long as you don’t wallow in it 24/7 it’s ok to feel a little down about your life or yourself. I personally think those people who are happy all the time are on something

Your life sounds really full and overwhelming! The only thing that pops out to me is if you could have your hubby take over some of the household responsibilities (cleaning one thing for you on the weekend? arranging mechanic or electrician? dropping off/picking up the drycleaning?)…

also, is there anyone else who could take over the conservatorship for your dad’s cousin…even temporarily to give you a break?

As for you asking if life is this complicated for everyone…the answer would have to be no. If everyone’s life were like this it would be “normal” and we would have nothing to complain about. Think about the women in pioneer days… you think they sat around having pity parties about having to wash their clothes in a river? Of course not because they didn’t know anything different.

I am sure you have friends or family or coworkers who seem to have things “easy”. It gives us a yard stick to measure our own struggles by… not always a good thing, especially since we can’t see all of their struggles. But it sure is hard to bear our crosses with patience and endurance when it seems as though there are others out there who don’t have to carry near as much.

I hope that you and your hubby can figure out a way to lighten your burdens. And if it is God’s will that you carry such a heavy cross then I pray that He continues to give you the strength and grace to bear it.
**

 

[Trishie]

You would be amazing to be able to manage even part of what you do achieve! It’s an awesome amount of responsibility. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Trishie

 

[bayoubutterfly]

I’m right there with you, my situation is just different. I’m a fairly new single mom of 2 kids, work full time, school full time. The way I get through it? one day at a time. I don’t worry about the next day or the next because you never know what will happen. I went through Katrina almost 3 years ago, that changed EVERYTHING in my area overnight. I figure if I got through that, I can get through anything.

One day at a time!

 

[Island_Oak]

I’d start w/ your husband. Why are you taking on so much of his work? It doesn’t sound like you’re getting much reciprocation with your tasks at home. It may seem like some ideal to work together, but not if it undermines your ability to manage and maintain the home for such young children. Discuss with him your limits and see if you can’t focus more on home and have him take over managment of the outside workload.

 

[dconklin]

I am slowly learning how to say no. It is a tough but very fair word.