B
Bdonoho
Guest
Every time I try to pray and think about the future (being a monk, or trying to live a secular life) I get overwhelmed and resentful by the fact that there is this specific plan that God wants for me and I have to do it if I want to please him. I wanted to ask for your prayers, and that I would overcome pride and find what it is God wants me to do, but more importantly, that I wouldn’t be so proud of deluded that I would reject it.
Lately I’ve been really bitter and resentful about certain divine truths regarding hell and I realize I have been very proud. Ive come to realize I have so much pride, and it causes me to grumble and complain against God all the time. I just am really miserable right now and I wish there was confession tomorrow with my regular confessor because I just feel unstable and anxious about everything, and one moment I’m at peace with Christ and the next I want to punch a hole in the wall in anger.
One thing I wanted to ask: how do any of you get on without going to confession every week? I’ve been counseled to go once a month, but I can’t get through a week without doing something (usually mental or associated with gluttony or the first three commandments) that makes me unsure whether I should receive communion. I do have scrupulosity, but. Have all these other issues too, and it’s made me unable to discern what’s real.
Lately I’ve been really bitter and resentful about certain divine truths regarding hell and I realize I have been very proud. Ive come to realize I have so much pride, and it causes me to grumble and complain against God all the time. I just am really miserable right now and I wish there was confession tomorrow with my regular confessor because I just feel unstable and anxious about everything, and one moment I’m at peace with Christ and the next I want to punch a hole in the wall in anger.
One thing I wanted to ask: how do any of you get on without going to confession every week? I’ve been counseled to go once a month, but I can’t get through a week without doing something (usually mental or associated with gluttony or the first three commandments) that makes me unsure whether I should receive communion. I do have scrupulosity, but. Have all these other issues too, and it’s made me unable to discern what’s real.