Overwhelmed=depressed funk

[JLCecilia]

Just one of those days that started out wrong and can’t get myself turned around. But, truth be told, this cloud has been hanging over my head since I got a positive PG test 8 months ago. The overwhelming feeling of not being able to keep up at work follows me home and I feel like I’m failing there too. I finally got the straw that broke the camel’s back @ work, had my little fit and finally accepted reassurance from my boss that I’m doing all I can do and that all the things that are out of my control are really the bulk of my frustration. Since then, I’m still behind, but it doesn’t bother me anymore.

Wish I could get this reassurance at home, but DH’s help would be even better. Not going to go there. Maybe it was the hospital bill I got in the mail at lunch from services DH had 4 months ago that we can’t afford after the clinic already denied my application for finanancial assistance/charity (i.e. writing off our bill).

We are feeling so financiall strained and confined, it’s suffocating and depressing. We don’t use credit cards, but I was so tempted to fill out an application I got last week until I remembered that one more looming bill would only add to my stress. Praying for Divine Providence and some much-needed help/breaks and just help w/ the dicsipline I need to be more conservative and mindful of our budget.

 

[mommamaree]

I hear ya! I get into a depressed funk when I get overwhelmed, too, which is exactly where I am right now.
I don’t see an actual question, so I assumed you just needed to vent, which I completely understand. You are not alone and this time of trial will pass…for both of us. God bless you!

 

[CradleJourney]

Sending prayers your way. My gentle suggestion - if you can, when you can, take a deep breath, pick a small goal that’s entirely under YOUR control, and start taking one step at a time to achieve it. Sometimes there’s so much outside our control or partially under the control of others that we lose all sense of what we are able to do. ((Hugs))

Trust me - at some points of my life actually getting fully dressed every day for a week was all I could claim as a success - but it made me feel better to have achieved something.

Trust in God - He has awesome plans for you! And if you can’t right now - that’s okay - He loves you just as you are.

 

[HolyRosaryChild]

Jesus’ Hymn and Scriptures will cheer you JLCecilia
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++

God’s Spirit is in my heart,
He has called me and set me apart.
This is what I have to do,
what I have to do.

He sent me to give the Good News to the poor,
Tell prisoners that they are prisoners no more,
Tell blind people that they can see,
And set the downtrodden free
And go tell everyone the news that the Kingdom of God has come,
And go tell everyone the news that the Kingdom of God has come.

Just as the Father sent me,
So I’m sending you out to be
My witnesses throughout the world,
The whole of the world.

Don’t worry what you have to say,
Don’t worry because on that day
God’s Spirit will speak in your heart,
Will speak in your heart.

 

[JLCecilia]

Thank you for the caring responses. Nice to know I’m not alone.

Oh my goodness, was I a basketcase yesterday! I got up early to say a rosary and just broke down. I think all the things I’m able to push aside on a day-to-day basis finally came to the fore and just consumed me. It dawned on me just the day before last that DH and I don’t even hug or kiss on a daily basis. One habit I wish we had is saying good morning to one another or greeting ea. other when we get home in the evenings. In fact, any and ALL affection has completely cooled w/ this pregnancy. The only thing that scares me is that I know this area has peaks and valleys and w/ neither of us having any confidence in NFP, I’m concerned about how we’re going to deal w/ this issue in the future. I DID pray for God to change DH’s heart about wanting a vasectomy. I was actually counting on DH getting it done so that our abstinence periods would sync up, but it’s not looking that way. Oh well. Sad thing is, we can’t afford the procedure, nor can we afford any more children. My guilty conscience would call this paybacks for our premarital relationship.

Anyway, made it to mass and during communion, the choir sang “I pray that they all may be one” which was played at my nuptial mass. I remember standing in the vestibule waiting to walk in and singing along to this hymn while holding on to my dad. DH hasn’t been “one” w/ me or the kids at mass in years. I started to tear up. Then, one of dad’s co-workers was wheeled by for communion and I just lost it. He is recovering from an accident, but dad talks about him w/ great affection and they served together in KofC as well. I know if dad had been there and seen him, he would’ve teared up too.

Came home and just bawled my eyes out. Really felt very alone at that moment not having anyone I can really talk to about any of this. Anyway, thanks for listening/reading and just pray for me and my family.

 

[mommamaree]

JLCecilia,
You are bearing such a heavy load. My heart breaks for you. I know how much you want your family to be full of lovings words and deeds, affection and cooperation. I will pray hard for your family, for your strength and courage in this difficult time, for your husband to have a softening of heart. I think it is good that you had the release of your grief through weeping. It may seem like it is better to resist tears, but tears are cleansing and healing.

Regarding the lack of affection, in order for that to change soon, could you start offering the affection toward your husband and then allow him to reciprocate as he feels ready? It would require tremendous courage and carry with it the possibility of hurt feelings on your part. But if you can bear it right now, you could say to him in the mornings before you and he part for the day “I want to give you a hug and kiss because I will miss you today”, and then pause to make sure he is okay with it. If not the first day, maybe he will accept and reciprocate on the second or third day.

That is just a thought. I hope that helps. I know you are really hurting right now and I will include you in my prayers today. Right now, in fact. God bless you!