Overwhelmed

[brycehecht]

Ever since I told my priest that I want to become a priest I have been overwhelmed. He is a very straightforward, go get em’, don’t stew about it just do it type guy. Well, every other weekend there is some type of event he wants me to go to. Catholicism by Fr. Barron (I admit was very interesting), Youth Ministry, Bishop’s Holy Hour, etc. It is just overwhelming. The events are nice, but I like to pray and read the Bible in private. I love learning, but am a very private person. What do I do about this situation?

 

[astroalbert]

Ever since I told my priest that I want to become a priest I have been overwhelmed. He is a very straightforward, go get em’, don’t stew about it just do it type guy. Well, every other weekend there is some type of event he wants me to go to. Catholicism by Fr. Barron (I admit was very interesting), Youth Ministry, Bishop’s Holy Hour, etc. It is just overwhelming. The events are nice, but I like to pray and read the Bible in private. I love learning, but am a very private person. What do I do about this situation?

I would recommend being straightforward with him… You know yourself, and you know your limits, speak to your priest about it, and I am sure he will be understanding… The best thing one could do is communicate honestly.

Peace,
Al

 

[Deus_tecum]

I would recommend being straightforward with him… You know yourself, and you know your limits, speak to your priest about it, and I am sure he will be understanding… The best thing one could do is communicate honestly.

Peace,
Al

I agree with this advice. It seems like too much too fast for you, and you have to let him know, or the assignments will keep coming.

 

[adawgj]

Depends on what kind of a priest you want to be. Id suggest researching religious orders because you will probably find one that might suit your personality (example for me God willing, the Jesuits because of their missionary and intellectual work). Have you ever thought about monastic life? Three really great orders are the Benedictines, Augustinians, and the Trappists.

 

[RoseMary131]

Ever since I told my priest that I want to become a priest I have been overwhelmed. He is a very straightforward, go get em’, don’t stew about it just do it type guy. Well, every other weekend there is some type of event he wants me to go to. Catholicism by Fr. Barron (I admit was very interesting), Youth Ministry, Bishop’s Holy Hour, etc. It is just overwhelming. The events are nice, but I like to pray and read the Bible in private. I love learning, but am a very private person. What do I do about this situation?

It is possible that the priest does not expect you to attend every event, but is inviting you so you can accept or decline the invitation to the events.

This priest seems to be wanting to help you. Having time to discuss with him being overwhelmed with so many invitations would be a good idea. He can help you find a balance of community involvement and private time.

 

[JRKH]

I would recommend being straightforward with him… You know yourself, and you know your limits, speak to your priest about it, and I am sure he will be understanding… The best thing one could do is communicate honestly.

Peace,
Al

Depends on what kind of a priest you want to be. Id suggest researching religious orders because you will probably find one that might suit your personality (example for me God willing, the Jesuits because of their missionary and intellectual work). Have you ever thought about monastic life? Three really great orders are the Benedictines, Augustinians, and the Trappists.

Amen - on both of these…

The combination of feeling called to the priesthood but also being more drawn to things private could indicate that your calling may be to a religious order.

Something to consider and discuss with your priest.

Peace
James

 

[brycehecht]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I know that I am called to the priesthood. I have always been bookish, quiet, and enjoyed solitude. It isn’t that things are happening too fast, its that they are non stop. I just like the time to reflect and pray by myself. We are at an event the other night for Youth Ministry and the Bishop was there. He went and got the Bishop and in front of one of my parents friends said, “Bishop, this is a future priest of the Diocese of xXxXxX.” My parents friend overheard and it’s not that I was embarrassed, I just don’t want certain people to know yet. I already told my dad that I want to be a priest and I am still looking for the right time to tell my mom. He messaged me this: “It’s about time to tell your mom…” I understand that he is trying to help and has good intentions but I want to do things when I want too, not when he wants me too.

 

[InThePew]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I know that I am called to the priesthood. I have always been bookish, quiet, and enjoyed solitude. It isn’t that things are happening too fast, its that they are non stop. I just like the time to reflect and pray by myself. We are at an event the other night for Youth Ministry and the Bishop was there. He went and got the Bishop and in front of one of my parents friends said, “Bishop, this is a future priest of the Diocese of xXxXxX.” My parents friend overheard and it’s not that I was embarrassed, I just don’t want certain people to know yet. I already told my dad that I want to be a priest and I am still looking for the right time to tell my mom. He messaged me this: “It’s about time to tell your mom…” I understand that he is trying to help and has good intentions but I want to do things when I want too, not when he wants me too.

A vocation is often a scary thing and it’s important that you get yourself into the right “headspace” - that is, a point where you feel comfortable with where things are going. Obviously, that takes time and opportunities for prayer and reflection by yourself are really important. That said, it’s also helpful to be in contact with others who are sharing the experience that you’re going through and can relate to how you’re feeling. Of course’ there’s nothing wrong with being bookish and enjoying solitude proved you maintain a healthy balance - there’s no single personality type for a diocesan priest (or indeed any priest).

I think that you need to speak with your priest and tell him how you’re feeling. IMHO he should not have made that comment to the bishop and certainly not in front of others. I can certainly relate to the desire to not let others know until you’re ready. Having said that, you also need to trust him and let him guide you through the process of discernment. Again, it really comes down to finding a balance between too much and too little.

 

[brycehecht]

Thanks for the comment. I am positive in my calling. Tomorrow at the Diocesan Cathedral there is a holy hour with the Bishop. He wants me to go. I lied though and told him I have an exam. I haven’t told my mom yet and she would wonder where I would be going. Honestly, I would love to go. My mom doesn’t know and I know she isn’t ready to know. I told my dad and he doesn’t think I am serious. He kind of mocks me about it.

 

[brycehecht]

Thanks for the comment. I am positive in my calling. Tomorrow at the Diocesan Cathedral there is a holy hour with the Bishop. He wants me to go. I lied though and told him I have an exam. I haven’t told my mom yet and she would wonder where I would be going. Honestly, I would love to go. My mom doesn’t know and I know she isn’t ready to know. I told my dad and he doesn’t think I am serious. He kind of mocks me about it.

 

[brycehecht]

This morning I completely overslept so I will be going to the other church in my area. My parents went to my home church though. Now I am scared that he will make tell my parents something along the lines of good luck on Bryce’s exam! Then my parents will ask what exam. Then I will be forced to tell my mom. I’m just so scared. I just don’t feel like I trust him. And then if he finds out I lied what will he think?

 

[JRKH]

This morning I completely overslept so I will be going to the other church in my area. My parents went to my home church though. Now I am scared that he will make tell my parents something along the lines of good luck on Bryce’s exam! Then my parents will ask what exam. Then I will be forced to tell my mom. I’m just so scared. I just don’t feel like I trust him. And then if he finds out I lied what will he think?

Oh what a tangled web we weave,
when first we practice to deceive…

Peace
James

 

[brycehecht]

Please try to understand. I feel terrible about lying.

 

[squirel]

God will guide you. Don’t worry so much. Your mother will know when she is ready. Our Lord is in control. Don’t try to change his plan for you. All the manipulative ways we try won’t change his plans. Pray and give in to his will…

 

[JRKH]

Please try to understand. I feel terrible about lying.

I do understand…

But in this there are lessons that God wishes you to learn…
The priesthood requires doing many difficult things - including telling people things that you don’t want to in short - of being honest when honesty is difficult.

In my opinion…lying indicates a lack of trust in God and in God’s calling of you to the priesthood.
Of course I could be wrong in this…but I guarantee that there IS a lesson in this.

Peace
James

 

[InThePew]

Please try to understand. I feel terrible about lying.

Granted it wasn’t the best of ideas but still that’s no reason to turn it into something much more serious and significant than it is. having doubts (as well as fears and anxieties) is any entirely natural part of a vocational calling - it takes years to learn to place your faith entirely on God because it goes against our basic human nature.

You do need to be honest with him though about how you feel. He’s not going to think any less of you for lying to him - if anything he’s probably going to be more embarrassed by his own over eagerness than anything else. Everyone’s vocational journey has it’s own pace and this is something which it’s easy to forget but nonetheless it’s up to you to tell him how you’re feeling.

Finally, with regard to your parents, I would just add that a lack on enthusiasm can actually be a blessing

 

[Michael57]

Ever since I told my priest that I want to become a priest I have been overwhelmed. He is a very straightforward, go get em’, don’t stew about it just do it type guy. Well, every other weekend there is some type of event he wants me to go to. Catholicism by Fr. Barron (I admit was very interesting), Youth Ministry, Bishop’s Holy Hour, etc. It is just overwhelming. The events are nice, but I like to pray and read the Bible in private. I love learning, but am a very private person. What do I do about this situation?

I find myself wondering what it will be like after you are ordained and have a parish. All those people, needing time with their pastor, the meetings, the committees, the Bishop, the community…whew!

Seems like most priests that I know do not have the luxury of private, personal time. I think they are very, very busy people. Then there are the obligations for the Mass (at your parish and to cover for other priests that may need assistance), funerals, baptisms, weddings (which reminds me, pastoral counseling), confession, and teaching RCIA…

Enjoy the time you have now, and the luxury of accepting and declining invitations.

And don’t be discouraged.

And don’t fib to your priest.

Press on.

 

[m134e5]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I know that I am called to the priesthood. I have always been bookish, quiet, and enjoyed solitude. It isn’t that things are happening too fast, its that they are non stop. I just like the time to reflect and pray by myself. We are at an event the other night for Youth Ministry and the Bishop was there. He went and got the Bishop and in front of one of my parents friends said, “Bishop, this is a future priest of the Diocese of xXxXxX.” My parents friend overheard and it’s not that I was embarrassed, I just don’t want certain people to know yet. I already told my dad that I want to be a priest and I am still looking for the right time to tell my mom. He messaged me this: “It’s about time to tell your mom…” I understand that he is trying to help and has good intentions but I want to do things when I want too, not when he wants me too.

I can relate to your situation. It sounds like there are a couple things going on here. First, your personality is likely very different than the priest’s personality and he may not realize that he’s being overbearing. Second, you’re a bit sensitive because it sounds like your vocation isn’t affirmed as much at home as it ought to be (and the priest is probably aware of that and really wants to encourage you). Third, you are experiencing anxieties, perhaps struggles with sin, or perhaps struggles with prayer- these things are not uncommon for those in discernment to have, so don’t be afraid. Make an appointment with your priest to talk through these things- it should help a lot.

Give your diocese’s vocation director a call. There’s no pressure to join the seminary just because you have a talk with him, but he is likely very experienced in this area and could either help you or point you towards someone who can. You need someone who can give you some guidance that would be inappropriate coming from someone you know simply through the internet. Take courage!