Oxytocin bonding to multiple partners

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In an article I read at Catholic Answers
catholic.com/chastity/Q1.asp
it says that…
According to an article by Drs. John Diggs and Eric Keroack, "People who have misused their sexual faculty and become bonded to multiple persons will diminish the power of oxytocin to maintain a permanent bond with an individual

On another web site it claims that Dr Keroack drew an incorrect conclusion about the research he used.
newswise.com/articles/view/525396/

Psychologist Dr. Rebecca Turner has rebutted as “complete pseudoscience” Dr. Eric Keroack’s claim that multiple partners can cause women to lose their ability to bond. Dr. Turner has issued a full statement describing her research findings and calling for the clear differentiation between scientific findings and personal values.

Does Catholic Answers have a response to this? Is there any other research which can back up Dr. Eric Keroack’s claims?
 
I am a strong proponent of abstinence until marriage and do not think anything good can come from multiple partners, but I am puzzled by Dr. Keroack’s claims and their implications. Oxytocin is not only released during sex, but during childbirth and when a baby nurses.

If you can “wear out” or “use up” your oxytocin by having multiple sex partners and be unable to bond with later ones, wouldn’t the same hole true for children? Are mothers not able to bond as well with children 2-10 as they are with #1? Are you less bonded to your nursling the longer you nurse?
 
Are you less bonded to your nursling the longer you nurse?
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Bonding with multiple partners is different that bonding with multiple children. The bond with children is maintained and reinforced over time whereas the bond with multiple sexual partners is severed.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
Bonding with multiple partners is different that bonding with multiple children. The bond with children is maintained and reinforced over time whereas the bond with multiple sexual partners is severed.
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That makes sense, thanks.

Does the study show a difference between long-term serious pre-marital relationships in which the parties remain friends, and a string of 1 night stands? I do have a friend who falls into the latter catagory and cannot seem to form any lasting bonds, but she was also sexually abused as a child by a family member and says that’s the root. It’s ancedotal, but I know many people in happy, 10+ year marriages who had pre-marital sex with others and remained on good terms after parting.
 
I think it is proven that a bonding experience takes place when a couple form a relationship and have intercourse. But what happens with a series of one night stands or short relationships which are physical? Does it actually reduce your ability to bond with the next partner as Keroack says? From my search around the net there does not seem to be any research on the topic except for Keroack’s claims but he didn’t do any research he just drew some conclusions from Turner’s research.
 
I did a lot of fornicating before I became Christian in the early '90s. A few “long term” relationships, and many one-night stands. I’m talking more than 100 men.

I have no trouble bonding with my wonderful husband of 13 years.

Anecdotal evidence, to be sure, but there it is.

God bless us all,

Ruthie
 
My take on it is that its a little bit chemical and a little bit emotional.
For instance, having the Oxytocin bonding experience with many partners - only to experience the pain of “breaking up” with them or not seeing them again probably encourages a person, overtime, to ignore those bonding feelings or have a negative association with them. Thus, training themselves not to bond by thinking that the bond is in their minds and not realizing that it is a physiological thing.
In other words, the actual physical and chemical component of their attachment to past lovers made their breakup much more traumatic and thus gave them a distorted reaction to the bonding inclination. Whereas if you are only with your spouse you associate the bonding effect of Oxycontin as only a positive thing because the bond is not severed.
 
Oxycontin? Uh…okay, lol - and I reserve ‘lol’ for rare occasions!

Oxytocin bonding is certainly very real, and androstenone too, as well as several other steroidal cues in relationship formation. It has become evident that the human olfactory sense is far more sensitive and influential than was previously thought in many aspects of our lives. Ever met someone you loved, deeply and intensely, even physically…but yet…up close and personal, the bond simply does not form? Well, there you go - that is more often than not the issue.

Oxytocin has a different ‘skillset’ than androstenone for one thing, and yes, it can certainly diminish or augment social bonding depending on circumstance and focus, such as when a woman has a small child, often the father may feel suddenly, weirdly estranged, even if there is little or no lack of attention between the two adults. But, if the man rides out that period, they often find that that close bonding comes back, and this time with bells on! 😃 Androstenone is far more oriented to casting a wider net for both straightforward attraction and repulsion/dominance.

I have seen some interesting studies and anecdotal stuff (can’t really use the word ‘data’ for anecdotes precisely, but still, you surely know how some perfumes smell entirely different on or to some people than others?) regarding the sense of smell and skin chemistry regarding blood-types as well.

The human olfactory system is a fascinating area of study in so many ways. Did you know that it is, unto itself, a quantum-state machine in the same way that our brain itself is? And that while the rest of our sensorium ‘carpools’ on the same neural circuitry, while the sense of scent has its own private line? Pretty neato, and very worth checking out in depth if one is so inclined. 🙂
 
They probably should take it down. Especially when the critic of the studies is the head of a christian organization.
 
The critic (Turner) is the person who claimed to do the study, Keroack is the doctor who supposedly twisted the results to say that too many sexual partners reduces bonding. Catholic Answers wrote an article on it using Keroack as part of the bibliography.
 
I’d imagine this would matter more with failed relationships than one night stands where people don’t intend to bond in any way in the first place.

There’s probably a lot of psychological reaction and it must have a reflection on the biochemical level because whatever goes on in the brain must physically happen. Perhaps there are some chemical dependencies that are independent from how our psychology works, but I don’t know.
Nepenthe said:
Oxycontin? Uh…okay, lol - and I reserve ‘lol’ for rare occasions!

Oxytocin bonding is certainly very real, and androstenone too, as well as several other steroidal cues in relationship formation.
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Just an off thought, but wonder how steroidal medicines affect that kind of thing. Not many people take those but those who do take a lot.
 
That’s a good question, chevalier, and the answer, broadly is Yes, and not only for those taking steroidal medications for sexual reasons, and plenty of other medications can affect the olfactory responses of both those who take them and those around them. Anecdotally, I can always tell if someone is taking the most common medications for manic-depression, and was and remain very intrigued by that. Later I noticed that I can also often distinguish the scent of people diagnosed with that condition who are not taking their medication as well. I kept finding more instances of such phenomena relating to all sorts of conditions and medications too.

Steroidal medicines cover a very broad range of applications, most commonly for speeding healing and suchlike, and yes indeed, they can affect that sense. For people taking steroidal medications for sexual/gender related conditions, it should be a matter of concern, since one’s gender identification may not line up ideally with one’s gender preference and social habits, and the results could be either desirable or very undesirable in terms of social relations. I’m giving extremely simplified responses to astoundingly complicated matters here, and I am not a qualified expert, but I have studied up somewhat on this topic and asked many questions of people who are very qualified indeed. What can I say, I have ‘insatiable curtiosity’ as Kipling put it in one of the Just So Stories’! 🙂
 
Oh, I didn’t even know steroids were used in sexual condition. I’ve always associated them with two things: respiratory problems and insane body building. So suppose we have a preterm. Bad eyes, bad lungs, likely bad spine and taller than the rest of people. Steroids from birth till early adult years. After that, probably none unless the condition is more serious than is typically the case. How should that affect the olfactory “data” process and the “data” that one emits?
 
I’ve wondered sometimes what happens with the bonding hormones in the case of masturbation? Could this also be harmful to one’s ability to bond?
 
I’ll be attending a lecture related to this topic, if any of you are nearby & interested…
The Biochemistry of Sex by Vicki Thorn
at Bishop O’Connor Center, Madison, WI
Feb. 19th
7-9pm

Or if you’d like to see my notes, shoot me an email.
 
I’d be interested in the notes.

Blue Skies, it seems to me there’s no way for the body to mark the difference between self-stimulation and sexual intercourse in many aspects, which should mean that at least some of the same hormones are released.
 
chevalier said:
I’d be interested in the notes.

Blue Skies, it seems to me there’s no way for the body to mark the difference between self-stimulation and sexual intercourse in many aspects, which should mean that at least some of the same hormones are released.
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I’ve thought the same thing. I just wonder what the effects of that may be, if done long-term.
 
blue_skies said:
I’ve thought the same thing. I just wonder what the effects of that may be, if done long-term.
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I would guess conditioning. At some point perhaps it would be more rewarding than sexual intercourse and the only way to satisfy a person.
 
chevalier said:
I would guess conditioning. At some point perhaps it would be more rewarding than sexual intercourse and the only way to satisfy a person.
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Yes, you could be right. It’s a complex subject, for sure…

I suppose it just goes to show how right the Church teachings are on the subject of sexuality… everything new that we discover about our hormones, the way our bodies and emotions work etc only confirms their truth.
 
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