Panhandlers, beggars, homeless in a big city

[jmcrae]

My inner city priest friend said that they used to give money to panhandlers, but when one of the ministers ran out of bills, one of the panhandlers whipped out a knife and stabbed the minister to death.

No more money.

This is exactly what happens. We used to have a little old lady who would give money to every passing beggar in the parking lot where she parked her car. She made it extremely dangerous for every other little old lady who used that parking lot, because the beggars simply assumed that they were going to get money from them as well, and became quite violent when nothing was forthcoming from those who had nothing to give.

 

[ringil]

As far as beggars, I use my common sense, if I really feel the person is needy, I help as i can. What is the worse? i lose a buck?

Glen

This is how I see it. I would rather lose a buck than spend time considering if the ethics of my neighbor are up to par.

I don’t spend a lot of time guaging other folks morals but that’s just me. . . .

 

[tbcrawford]

This is how I see it. I would rather lose a buck than spend time considering if the ethics of my neighbor are up to par.

I don’t spend a lot of time guaging other folks morals but that’s just me. . . .

 

[Monte_RCMS]

This is exactly what happens. We used to have a little old lady who would give money to every passing beggar in the parking lot where she parked her car. She made it extremely dangerous for every other little old lady who used that parking lot, because the beggars simply assumed that they were going to get money from them as well, and became quite violent when nothing was forthcoming from those who had nothing to give.

Reminds me of “The Tweezer Lady”.

Used to attend daily Mass, but only for as long as it took her to steal the collection. Sometimes she used tweezers to extract money from the poor box before the ushers could transfer money from the poor box to the envelope to be taken to the rectory.

So, we were “afraid” to confront her, but instead we just greeted her, stood next to her, and smiled. And eventually, she got the idea and left.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

I take it that you ascribe to the Protestant Work Ethic which grew out of puritan Protestantism and has been widely embraced by the American Right.

This system of thought, application of charity, and theory of wealth based on piety is not consistent with Catholic Social Teaching, indeed it is a rupture from it.

Sorry, but your sentence structure is just too complicated for a simple guy like me.

Too much stuff packed into two sentences to figure out what exactly you are saying. Maybe you could simplify it.

Each of us has an obligation to help the poor.

But each of us has an obligation to do what we can … work.

Nothing in Catholic Social Teaching, I don’t think, that entitles people to a free ride if they are able to work. Why would you want to mooch offa somebody who works hard?

But what do I know.

The quotes seem to be from the Catholic Bible, although Protestants use it as well.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

I have a 45 yr old nephew that I recently took in because he told me he wanted to straighten out his life after “living on the streets” for 5 yrs. I did gladly take him in and was happy to try to help him in his quest to change his life.

Well, three months of him sitting in front of the TV obsessing over Casey Anthony of all people, or sunning himself in the chaise longe was enough to realize that helping the “homeless” is not my calling or should I say his type of homeless, which is by choice.

He gets $200+/month from the government to buy food, he lives in the shelter which he feels is better than having to pay rent or a mortgage (and looks down on those that do as he feels they are materialistic). He has a whole subset of enablers from the churches in the area to sympathetic people that feel sorry for him because he is “homeless”.

He finally told me he does not want a job and actually chuckled at me for being stunned by that admission and realization that I had been had. Needless to say, he doesn’t live here anymore.

There are the real homeless people, those that are homeless through circumstance and no fault of their own and then there are the homeless by choice (my nephew) and they are very slick at mooching, at least he is. Lazy as the day is long.

I plugged in “homeless by choice” and educated myself on this group. I’m done with it.

This post is so good, that I wanted to repeat it again.

Adult people have an obligation to themselves and to the community to grow up and act like adults and to behave themselves in a civilized manner.

We don’t love someone if we let them behave badly and let them act out and mooch offa us.

 

[atheistgirl]

Hate to break it to you, but, chances are the articulate vet who needed $8 for a bus ticket was likely a con artist.

That one is very common-place. I’ve had that one pulled on me quite a few times, and I do exactly as you do. I offer to make the call they want change for, I offer to buy the ticket, and even once, I had a lady approach me at the gas station asking for $20 for gas so she could drive whereever it was to see her dying dad. She had two young kids with her. I said no problem, soon as Ive filled up, I’ll fill yours up too and pay for both. She said no she wanted the cash and she’d do it herself. I said I couldnt do that as I didnt have that much cash on me, but it was no problem filling her up with gas and I would happily pay for both tanks. She just mumbled something abusive at me, walked over to her car, and drove off

Sarah x

 

[ringil]

That one is very common-place. I’ve had that one pulled on me quite a few times, and I do exactly as you do. I offer to make the call they want change for, I offer to buy the ticket, and even once, I had a lady approach me at the gas station asking for $20 for gas so she could drive whereever it was to see her dying dad. She had two young kids with her. I said no problem, soon as Ive filled up, I’ll fill yours up too and pay for both. She said no she wanted the cash and she’d do it herself. I said I couldnt do that as I didnt have that much cash on me, but it was no problem filling her up with gas and I would happily pay for both tanks. She just mumbled something abusive at me, walked over to her car, and drove off

Sarah x

Oh, we all have our stories of folks trying to scam us. I’ve had the old “bus"ticket” story more times than I can count. I had a guy come up to me asking for money after discretely hiding his “big Gulp” behind a plant (my wife saw this).

Then I have my personal “favorite” folks actually coming to my front door asking for money.

On the other hand, I’m not going to spend my time fretting over the morals of somebody asking for help.

Like someone said earlier- “it’s not about the person asking for help- it’s all about me.” I can only control my behavior and for me if I gave into a cynical view of those who ask for money or whatever- something in me would have died. and that’s not OK with me.

 

[atheistgirl]

On the other hand, I’m not going to spend my time fretting over the morals of somebody asking for help.

Me neither

I help everyone and anyone I can, where-ever and when ever I can.

I was caught out once like that - I went to a meeting with a potential new supplier - when I got there, there was no parking space so I ended up driving to a very nearby place to use their parking - except it was paid parking - and I didnt have a cent on me - literally. There were great big tow truck signs everywhere

Just then a lady walked to her car - I approached and explained the prediciment I was in. She paid my parking for two hours What a sweetie she was.

So I know what it’s like to stop random strangers and ask for change and I run a multi million dollar business

I did go back to the place with a bunch of flowers and left them for the lady with the xxxxxx plate, but I dont know if she was a visitor or if she ever got them or not

Sarah x

 

[ringil]

Me neither

I help everyone and anyone I can, where-ever and when ever I can.

I was caught out once like that - I went to a meeting with a potential new supplier - when I got there, there was no parking space so I ended up driving to a very nearby place to use their parking - except it was paid parking - and I didnt have a cent on me - literally. There were great big tow truck signs everywhere

Just then a lady walked to her car - I approached and explained the prediciment I was in. She paid my parking for two hours What a sweetie she was.

So I know what it’s like to stop random strangers and ask for change and I run a multi million dollar business

I did go back to the place with a bunch of flowers and left them for the lady with the xxxxxx plate, but I dont know if she was a visitor or if she ever got them or not

Sarah x

Kindness in a Godless Secularist!!! Unthinkable!!!

I 'm just poking in CAF spirit. I have many Atheist frieds and I would much rather chat with an Atheist than an Evangelical Protestant or a biblical literalist.

 

[atheistgirl]

Kindness in a Godless Secularist!!! Unthinkable!!!

I 'm just poking in CAF spirit. I have many Atheist frieds and I would much rather chat with an Atheist than an Evangelical Protestant or a biblical literalist.

It’s really funny to think that lady could have come on a forum like this and said something like:

''Ha - met a begger today, all smart dress and well spoken, looking for change for her parking - HA - she didnt fool me!! I know she wanted that change for smokes so guess what I did - I actually paid for two hours parking for her hahahhha - silly moo - thought she could get one over on me Oh, and guess what, Ive got a secret admirer … got into work today and there was a lovely bunch of flowers at reception for me. Im sure its that guy in the coffee shop! Ewww! Still, they were nice flowers ‘’

She was a lovelly sweet kind lady.

Hey, maybe there is a God And he sends people like her to protect people like me from ourselves when our blonde moments look like they’re about to override the system!!!



Sarah x

 

[ProdigalAnglicn]

I think The Didache has some good advice:

If someone takes your cloak, give him also your coat. If someone takes from you what is yours, ask it not back, for indeed you are not able. Give to every one who asks you, and ask it not back; for the Father wills that to all should be given of our own blessings (free gifts). Happy is he who gives according to the commandment, for he is guiltless.

Woe to him who receives; for if one receives who has need, he is guiltless; but he who receives not having need shall pay the penalty, why he received and for what.

Give what you are able, but if someone uses the dollar you give them to buy drugs or booze instead of food, or if the person really isn’t needy but a scammer, the guilt isn’t on you but on him. But if the person IS needy and you DON’T give, that is worse and you’ve incurred fault. Of course offering to go in and pay for the person is better than giving money, but if you only have time to give money, I think it’s better to err on the side of compassion.

 

[ringil]

I think The Didache has some good advice:

Give what you are able, but if someone uses the dollar you give them to buy drugs or booze instead of food, or if the person really isn’t needy but a scammer, the guilt isn’t on you but on him. But if the person IS needy and you DON’T give, that is worse and you’ve incurred fault. Of course offering to go in and pay for the person is better than giving money, but if you only have time to give money, I think it’s better to err on the side of compassion.

Yep, I will not allow my heart to be hardened.

I can imagine that Satan can only be pleased when a heart is broken due to the sins of others.

God desires the faith and innocence of children- the faith of St. Francis and of Mother Theresa.

 

[tbcrawford]

Oh, we all have our stories of folks trying to scam us. I’ve had the old “bus"ticket” story more times than I can count. I had a guy come up to me asking for money after discretely hiding his “big Gulp” behind a plant (my wife saw this).

Then I have my personal “favorite” folks actually coming to my front door asking for money.

On the other hand, I’m not going to spend my time fretting over the morals of somebody asking for help.

Like someone said earlier- “it’s not about the person asking for help- it’s all about me.” I can only control my behavior and for me if I gave into a cynical view of those who ask for money or whatever- something in me would have died. and that’s not OK with me.

 

[tbcrawford]

I think The Didache has some good advice:

Give what you are able, but if someone uses the dollar you give them to buy drugs or booze instead of food, or if the person really isn’t needy but a scammer, the guilt isn’t on you but on him. But if the person IS needy and you DON’T give, that is worse and you’ve incurred fault. Of course offering to go in and pay for the person is better than giving money, but if you only have time to give money, I think it’s better to err on the side of compassion.

 

[tbcrawford]

Yep, I will not allow my heart to be hardened.

I can imagine that Satan can only be pleased when a heart is broken due to the sins of others.

God desires the faith and innocence of children- the faith of St. Francis and of Mother Theresa.

 

[Castello]

Yep, I will not allow my heart to be hardened.

I can imagine that Satan can only be pleased when a heart is broken due to the sins of others.

God desires the faith and innocence of children- the faith of St. Francis and of Mother Theresa.

Once again, Mother Theresa never gave out money, today her sisters so not give out money. They give food and water and a cot or a mat on the floor to sleep on, some clothes, a bandage and basic medical attention.

 

[theswan]

Not sure what you said but I think you disagree with the one you quoted. If so, I do too

One reason I disagree is there are many I mean many who for whatever reason, Mental illness, drug/alcohol addiction, FAS induced developmental slowness, mental retardation, ignorance and so on, will just never be able to fully support themselves.

I am kinda taken aback by the general “pull yerselves up from the bootstraps” mindset here on a site that I’d expect to have the upmost compassion. Always the argument centers around personal responsibilty. OK that is great on a placard or a mantra but reality shows there are many, I mean a whole lot who just cannot help themselves.

I always want to err on the side of maybe giving to the wrong person with the wrong motives, then pass a person by who could have used my help. Glad there are others here who share a compassionate view

Glen Wappingers Falls NY

 

[ringil]

Once again, Mother Theresa never gave out money, today her sisters so not give out money. They give food and water and a cot or a mat on the floor to sleep on, some clothes, a bandage and basic medical attention.

Of course they don’t give out money because they don’t HAVE money. These are religious sisters we’re talking about.

You know what they also don’t do, only help those who they believe can help themselves. They help those who come to them, period.

 

[jmcrae]

Not sure what you said but I think you disagree with the one you quoted. If so, I do too

One reason I disagree is there are many I mean many who for whatever reason, Mental illness, drug/alcohol addiction, FAS induced developmental slowness, mental retardation, ignorance and so on, will just never be able to fully support themselves.

I am kinda taken aback by the general “pull yerselves up from the bootstraps” mindset here on a site that I’d expect to have the upmost compassion.

Nobody is saying that. Rather, we are saying, let the professionals who know how to help, do the helping, and support them with your charitable dollars, instead of giving directly to people you don’t know, who may or may not be thieves just looking to see where you keep your wallet so they can jump you later on, or who knows what.

Always the argument centers around personal responsibilty. OK that is great on a placard or a mantra but reality shows there are many, I mean a whole lot who just cannot help themselves.

True. Those people will be glad to know of St. Vincent de Paul Societies that give out free groceries, and places where they can get a free bath and free clean underwear, or places they can sleep, and places they can take computer classes, etc.

I always want to err on the side of maybe giving to the wrong person with the wrong motives, then pass a person by who could have used my help. Glad there are others here who share a compassionate view

There are even people who make it their life’s work to help the poor, and who know how to get really good deals on groceries, to be able to stretch your couple of dollars to be able to give four men who really do need the help a sit-down dinner of steak and potatoes, instead of just a packet of french fries for one guy who may very well throw them away as soon as your back is turned.

We are called to help the poor; not set ourselves up to get conned out of our hard-earned money.

By giving to charitable organizations that are good at what they do, you can be sure that you really are helping the poor, and that your dollars are going where they need to be going.