Paralysing stress

[Anglewannabe]

As I have shared in numerous posts, I have been unemployed for over a year. I finally got a 3 months contract. I really want to perform well in the hopes of having my contract renewed.

Having been in the workforce 20+ years, I know my week points and am trying to perform better.

I am the type of person who loves to take notes. When someone shows me a new task, I write everything down quickly. I have horrible handwriting so the second they leave, I type them up in word. People are often busy and resent the time I spend writing notes. But I insist. Case in point. I learned a new task Friday. Monday is a holiday for Canada. So Tuesday when I go back to work, there is no way I will remember what I learnt Friday. So IMO the good thing is, I have these awesome notes and Tuesday when I walk in, I will take out my notes, and start working and be up and running without having to disturb anyone.

However, as I was taking the notes, my manager (who I want to impress) was not happy. I started to write on a scrap piece of paper. She asked me to use the note book she had given me.

I said ‘I will be typing these up later’

She said ‘Well, if the computer is down how will you access them?’ I bite my tongue but all I could think was ‘if the computer is down, I won’t need them because I won’t be able to access the software’

So I said ‘I will print them out. Would it be possible to have a binder to keep them in?’

She said ‘Yes’. I am starting to think that I will bring in my own binder since I don’t want to go through the humiliation of asking for one. Believe it or not, I am not even allow to go to the supply cabinet for a pen. All such requests have to go through a manager.

In my heart I believe I did the right thing. I am positive if I walk in tomorrow and ask to be shown again because I forgot over the weekend, it will look real bad. I am SO happy I have great notes to refer to.

Also, I strongly suspect that my manager’s pettiness was simply coming from a place of stress. She strikes me as a really friendly person but she is working 12 hours a day.

However, here is what is paralysing me. I have been in enough situations to know, these are the little things that often make or break me. I have been in situations where something as small as taking 15 minutes to write notes instead of doing work can give one a bad reputation. I know that when someone is stressed, they often will not listen to reason (due to lack of time) and make inaccurate conclusions that make me look bad.

I am SO petrified of being wrongly accused. As I look back, it would have made sense to just take out my note book and write the notes there when my manager asked me. But in the heat of the moment I was not thinking and just blurted out ‘I will type’ these later’

It all seems like such a small thing and realistically I don’t see anything wrong with speaking up and saying ‘I will type these out’. But again it goes back to in office environment little things get blown out of proportion.

I am so worried about going to work tomorrow, I can barely get dressed.

Please pray for me

Angie

 

[St_Francis]

Pray about this and ask God to protect you from any tiny things tripping you up. And if a tiny thing trips you up, remember that it must be God’s will for you and that He has something else planned for you.

My husband does a lot of contract work and he says this helps him

 

[Xantippe]

I’m just like you about notes. If I didn’t write it down, the conversation might as well not have happened. Next time, could you say something like this: “I’m taking notes because I want to be 100% clear exactly what you want me to do and I don’t want to bother you unnecessarily asking about stuff you’ve already explained.”

 

[Anglewannabe]

Pray about this and ask God to protect you from any tiny things tripping you up. And if a tiny thing trips you up, remember that it must be God’s will for you and that He has something else planned for you.

My husband does a lot of contract work and he says this helps him

What helps your husband? Contract work? Or the prayer? Not trying to be ditsy just asking for clarification

 

[Anglewannabe]

I’m just like you about notes. If I didn’t write it down, the conversation might as well not have happened. Next time, could you say something like this: “I’m taking notes because I want to be 100% clear exactly what you want me to do and I don’t want to bother you unnecessarily asking about stuff you’ve already explained.”

Awesome suggestion. It is just when my manager is stressed, I take it personally and have trouble speaking up and being polite at the same time. When the person next to me is in a bad mood, I tend to turn into a shy quiet mouse. Or, I blurt it out the wrong way. I need to work on that

 

[Matthew8]

I just got back from a 50 minute class on anxiety. If there was anything I could bring back there to help you would be these few words of advice.
1)Dont worry about what people think about you. Of course continue to be kind.
2)Dont strive to get ahead of people in the workplace, get rid of an attitude of competition.

From my own experience I have had a real hard boss before. I should have looked for a new job since she was abusive, but I stayed. Luckily she got promoted. Hope all works out for you!

 

[Bonnie]

Almost every job I’ve had included binders full of procedures. Odd that they don’t.

I might suggest always having a small notebook on you so you can take the notes in a way that works for you. Using a scrap of paper looks like you didn’t plan ahead.

I, too, have terrible handwriting. I always have to copy over notes - and quickly, while I can still read my writing!

 

[St_Francis]

What helps your husband? Contract work? Or the prayer? Not trying to be ditsy just asking for clarification

I’m sorry, that *was *unclear Yes, my husband does contract work, as you are doing now, and praying like that and having that trust in God’s care helps my husband as contract work can be a little crazy.

 

[PaulinVA]

If you were given a notebook, use it. It’s unprofessional to write things on scraps of paper.

If your manager wants you to listen and not write, listen and don’t write.

If you know you have a work habit that irritates people, such as taking copious notes and then spending time typing them up, why do you do it?

It is pretty stressful coming into a new office and learning new tasks. I think most people take notes. But you have to do it in a way that is not obtrusive or obsessive.

I’m glad your are working. Relax, take a deep breath, and don’t act like every interaction must be absolutely perfect.

By the way, I wrote this over about an hour while I was doing other things, and I hope it doesn’t come off as harsh. That wasn’t my intent.

 

[Anglewannabe]

If you were given a notebook, use it. It’s unprofessional to write things on scraps of paper.

If your manager wants you to listen and not write, listen and don’t write.

If you know you have a work habit that irritates people, such as taking copious notes and then spending time typing them up, why do you do it?

It is pretty stressful coming into a new office and learning new tasks. I think most people take notes. But you have to do it in a way that is not obtrusive or obsessive.

I’m glad your are working. Relax, take a deep breath, and don’t act like every interaction must be absolutely perfect.

By the way, I wrote this over about an hour while I was doing other things, and I hope it doesn’t come off as harsh. That wasn’t my intent.

Thank you for your feedback and I am not offended. However, I just want to point a few things out. Where I worked before, EVERYONE wrote on scraps of paper. It was considered being good to the environment. I think it is a culture thing and I am learning in this new office it would be better to use my note book.

I agree I need to listen. However, the reason I INSIST on writing notes is because as much as it annoys people, what these people do not realize, if I don’t write things down, I will forget the next day and they will have to repeat themselves. That annoys people more, but when I write it down, people don’t realize I annoyed them less because I don’t go back with questions

Now I am not sure what ‘copious’ means. However, I have to type them up before I forget what I wrote. When I write notes, since there is someone beside me, I write only half of what they say down and I need to fill in the blanks before I forget

 

[PaulinVA]

Thank you for your feedback and I am not offended. However, I just want to point a few things out. Where I worked before, EVERYONE wrote on scraps of paper. It was considered being good to the environment. I think it is a culture thing and I am learning in this new office it would be better to use my note book.

At least in the States, what you create during work hours belongs to the company. I want people to use notebooks because, when they leave, they return the notebooks and the company has a record of what they’ve done, what agreements they’ve made with customers, how they processed things, etc. The work is mine and I want it. If you use scraps of paper, it’s not only unprofessional, but they are thrown away and lost forever.

I agree I need to listen. However, the reason I INSIST on writing notes is because as much as it annoys people, what these people do not realize, if I don’t write things down, I will forget the next day and they will have to repeat themselves. That annoys people more, but when I write it down, people don’t realize I annoyed them less because I don’t go back with questions

You need to create coping skills that allow you to remember without making the purpose of the interaction be you writing things down. The purpose of the interactions is to convey to you the process of how the company does something. If you write every little thing down, you have created a record that I now have to review to make sure that I conveyed everything properly and you have written it down properly. Because I know, if down the road there is a problem with the way you are doing something, you are going to pull the notes out and use them as a weapon to prove that you are “right” instead of just changing the way you are doing whatever it is we are talking about.

Assimilating yourself into an office is really hard. I guess my advice is, when you determine something about the office “personality” , if you will, go with it, don’t go against it.

When I bring people in, I write down the essentials they need to know to get started on their tasks. I actually don’t subscribe to the idea that you need to bring a notebook in and write while I try to remember the steps of a task. That’s incredibly inefficient and isn’t very welcoming.

 

[Anglewannabe]

At least in the States, what you create during work hours belongs to the company. I want people to use notebooks because, when they leave, they return the notebooks and the company has a record of what they’ve done, what agreements they’ve made with customers, how they processed things, etc. The work is mine and I want it. If you use scraps of paper, it’s not only unprofessional, but they are thrown away and lost forever. .

Well, In Canada it is different. If I was developing a product, it would belong to the company, if I was making an agreement with a client, there would be a standard contract to sign. What I am talking about is personal how to notes that only I would use or if a new person was to take over my tasks, they would be given to him. It some of my previous jobs, it was just a given everyone had their own personal notes

You need to create coping skills that allow you to remember without making the purpose of the interaction be you writing things down. The purpose of the interactions is to convey to you the process of how the company does something. If you write every little thing down, you have created a record that I now have to review to make sure that I conveyed everything properly and you have written it down properly. Because I know, if down the road there is a problem with the way you are doing something, you are going to pull the notes out and use them as a weapon to prove that you are “right” instead of just changing the way you are doing whatever it is we are talking about. .

Again, I have never seen that. No one ever reviewed my notes. The reason I keep them in Word is because if I am doing something wrong, or the procedure changed, it is easy to change the notes. Never have someone’s personal how to notes been used as evidence they are right. It is simply evidence they wrote it down wrong.

Assimilating yourself into an office is really hard. I guess my advice is, when you determine something about the office “personality” , if you will, go with it, don’t go against it. .

Yes I agree with this

When I bring people in, I write down the essentials they need to know to get started on their tasks. I actually don’t subscribe to the idea that you need to bring a notebook in and write while I try to remember the steps of a task. That’s incredibly inefficient and isn’t very welcoming.

My manager has been WAY too busy to do that. Everything was leading up to today because she had a RIDICULOUS day and she knew it was coming. Now that this project is over, she may have more time for me.

Last week I worked with a girl who loved that I was taking notes. In some places, there is no one set standard and it depends who you are working with.

Hopefully as time goes by, I will have a better idea of the culture and I will be able to go with it

Angie

 

[PaulinVA]

Well, In Canada it is different. If I was developing a product, it would belong to the company, if I was making an agreement with a client, there would be a standard contract to sign. What I am talking about is personal how to notes that only I would use or if a new person was to take over my tasks, they would be given to him. It some of my previous jobs, it was just a given everyone had their own personal notes

In terms of intellectual property, the way to protect it is to have all notes written in provided notebooks. If you write everything in the notebook, you can have record that might be useful. later.

Again, I have never seen that. No one ever reviewed my notes. The reason I keep them in Word is because if I am doing something wrong, or the procedure changed, it is easy to change the notes. Never have someone’s personal how to notes been used as evidence they are right. It is simply evidence they wrote it down wrong.

I have worked with people who could never take direction and were never wrong - at least in their mind. I had to approve every process they wrote as a defense against their attitude. If that doesn’t apply in your situation, then it doesn’t apply.

I have a Quality Assurance background, so process improvement and organizational effectiveness is a big thing for me. Sorry if I drug you (dragged you?) into my ranting about pet peeves. I hope things are going well.

 

[hsmomforlife]

If you were given a notebook, use it. It’s unprofessional to write things on scraps of paper.

If your manager wants you to listen and not write, listen and don’t write.

What if your learning ability or style is that you have to write to learn?

If you know you have a work habit that irritates people, such as taking copious notes and then spending time typing them up, why do you do it?

Some people process better when the take information in and then move it around in their brain and have it come out through their hand…it’s really rather common…

It is pretty stressful coming into a new office and learning new tasks. I think most people take notes. But you have to do it in a way that is not obtrusive or obsessive.

I’m glad your are working. Relax, take a deep breath, and don’t act like every interaction must be absolutely perfect.

By the way, I wrote this over about an hour while I was doing other things, and I hope it doesn’t come off as harsh. That wasn’t my intent.