Parent unhappy about faith

[Antonio5]

Since I have begun practising the disciplines of Lent - e.g fasting, giving things up - my mom has become unhappy and bitter towards me. She is not of the faith and I think part of the problem is her ignorance of the Christian faith and what Lent means etc. but also my ignorance of her viewpoint and how strange things must seem to her.

She seems to think that because I’m giving things up I’m some kind of Puritan and is annoyed that I’m so seemingly miserable.

Has anyone else found themselves in such a situation of resistance and animosity from parents and any suggestions as to how I should deal with it.

Please pray for me and my mom.

 

[Christy_Beth]

You have my prayers, and gladly. I am also the only Catholic in the family. Although I’ve been Catholic since 1997, my mom “still doesn’t get it.” Well, I could say the same for a long time about my mental illness. She didn’t understand it until I had her talk to a nurse I know. But she (my mom) seems to be a bit more open to learning more. So, when I see her next, I’m loaning her a few books that will hopefully prove to be successful. When we talked about it on the phone, she said she wasn’t interested in becoming Catholic, which I already figured that part out. But, like I said, I hope these books can help her. You might approach your mom and have a candid discussion with her. I’m sure that just one talk won’t clear up all the misconceptions, but it might help ease the relationship a bit. Just let her know that it’s ok to have questions, and that you might not have all the answers. If we had all the answers, we wouldn’t be here. Only God has all the answers.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Since I have begun practising the disciplines of Lent - e.g fasting, giving things up - my mom has become unhappy and bitter towards me. She is not of the faith and I think part of the problem is her ignorance of the Christian faith and what Lent means etc. but also my ignorance of her viewpoint and how strange things must seem to her.

Have you actually sat down with her and talked about Lent, how it fits with your beliefs, what the Lenten practices mean to you, etc.? To have a conversation that starts with something like “I was really hungry yesterday, but I’m glad I fasted because I felt…” could be the start of something positive. If she’s not familiar with the idea of fasting, it may seem very foreign and difficult. Similarly, someone who doesn’t exercise might think the idea of going to the gym is foreign and difficult, but may be able to understand that it also has benefits.

She seems to think that because I’m giving things up I’m some kind of Puritan and is annoyed that I’m so seemingly miserable.

Does she think “oh, you must be miserable because you’re hungry” or is she reacting to how you really are acting? Sometimes we use fasting as an excuse to be cranky and difficult to other people. In a case like that, it would be hard for someone to see what benefit the fasting might bring.

 

[Dorothy]

Since I have begun practising the disciplines of Lent - e.g fasting, giving things up - my mom has become unhappy and bitter towards me. She is not of the faith and I think part of the problem is her ignorance of the Christian faith and what Lent means etc. but also my ignorance of her viewpoint and how strange things must seem to her.

She seems to think that because I’m giving things up I’m some kind of Puritan and is annoyed that I’m so seemingly miserable.

Has anyone else found themselves in such a situation of resistance and animosity from parents and any suggestions as to how I should deal with it.

Please pray for me and my mom.

I’m not sure what you meant when you said she is “annoyed that I’m so seemingly miserable.”

Do you appear miserable because you are giving some things up? Are you praying as well?
If you feel miserable perhaps you are giving up too much? Anyway, we should look joyful if we are increasing our prayer life and giving up some things.

Happy Lent!

 

[tawny]

Since I have begun practising the disciplines of Lent - e.g fasting, giving things up - my mom has become unhappy and bitter towards me. She is not of the faith and I think part of the problem is her ignorance of the Christian faith and what Lent means etc. but also my ignorance of her viewpoint and how strange things must seem to her.

She seems to think that because I’m giving things up I’m some kind of Puritan and is annoyed that I’m so seemingly miserable.

Has anyone else found themselves in such a situation of resistance and animosity from parents and any suggestions as to how I should deal with it.

Please pray for me and my mom.

Praying for you & your Mom.

 

[EIF5A]

I pray God may grant your mother the grace to see the truth and follow too in the footsteps of Christ.

 

[4love2God]

Antonio5 said : "Since I have begun practising the disciplines of Lent … my mom has become unhappy and bitter towards me. She is not of the faith…"

If Dear Old Mom doesn’t like your Lenten practices . . . then stop telling her about them.
What SHE doesn’t know, can’t hurt YOU.

Truly, you know that because she is not a Catholic, that she is NOT going to be supportive of Catholic practices.
So, don’t rub her nose into it.
She may think you are trying to convince her to Convert, and so she is acting that way to deter you from further evangelization efforts.

And, "Has anyone else found themselves in such a situation of resistance and animosity from parents and any suggestions as to how I should deal with it."

My Mom was adament about me NOT becoming a Catholic.
So, I secretly enrolled in Catechism, and went through 2 years of preparation.
Finally, at the time of my First Communion, I had my Grandma (a mostly-lapsed Catholic) talk to her.
Things smoothed out, at least for the First Communion celebration.
And then, I just kept my mouth shut since then, so as not to “Spit on her agnosticism.”

 

[Ms_Manners]

Has anyone else found themselves in such a situation of resistance and animosity from parents and any suggestions as to how I should deal with it.

My mother doesn’t understand some things and sometimes she will resort to slight mockery (and sometimes not so slight).
And she is Catholic. Christmas/Easter type of Catholic, but still, it’s the faith she tried to teach me.

I go to Mass, which was odd, and veil, which was shocking. My husband handles some things, which she doesn’t comment, but I know she doesn’t agree.
If she knew we practised NFP, she’d never understand. Luckily, my family does not share things like that so there is no need to upset her more.

I was thinking about it just the other day.
I have done some things I am really not proud of and have made some really bad decisions. She accepted that.
Now that I am living a different, more positive life, she just can’t get over it. Go figure.

My husband’s parents were furious when he decided to become a Catholic. They were Catholic until their child died, then they started to resent God. It was a horrible time for them.
His mother was outright offensive about it, until he explained that her only choice was to come witness it or stay at home and that it would happen regardless of their reaction.
They accepted it as well. They were very happy to be at our Church wedding later and are okay with us going to Mass.

Just stay consistent and she should at least accept you. Might not happen right away, but it will happen eventually. In the meantime, you can offer it up.

 

[Jennifer_G]

As a convert, my parents weren’t too thrilled with the idea, too. My mother (baptized Catholic, raised Lutheran) can be a bit dramatic (she’s part Italian, they can be quite… expressive. ) was quite dramatic the first time I tried any type of fasting (and that was just an hour before church, well before I became Catholic). 18 years later, she’s a bit more accepting, but when I give up something for Lent, say, my favorite snack, so she goes ahead and buys me my 2nd favorite snack, which has been sitting untouched in the refrigerator since Ash Wednesday.

 

[Antonio5]

Thank you for your replies. I guess it is just something I’ll have to offer up. And I have to be careful that I don’t say prayers for the conversion of my mother solely so I can have an easier life, but rather for the good of her immortal soul.

I have yet to sit down and have a frank and candid conversation with her about my beliefs. Whenever I try she seems to respond with slight mockery. I think the best way is simply to try to live out the faith as privately as possible and tread very carefully trying not to rile her. But no one likes treading on egg shells.

 

[Dorothy]

Thank you for your replies. I guess it is just something I’ll have to offer up. And I have to be careful that I don’t say prayers for the conversion of my mother solely so I can have an easier life, but rather for the good of her immortal soul.

I have yet to sit down and have a frank and candid conversation with her about my beliefs. Whenever I try she seems to respond with slight mockery. I think the best way is simply to try to live out the faith as privately as possible and tread very carefully trying not to rile her. But no one likes treading on egg shells.

Good insights! May the Lord be with you on your journey.

 

[Bklynguy]

As a convert, my parents weren’t too thrilled with the idea, too. My mother (baptized Catholic, raised Lutheran) can be a bit dramatic (she’s part Italian, they can be quite… expressive. ) was quite dramatic the first time I tried any type of fasting (and that was just an hour before church, well before I became Catholic). 18 years later, she’s a bit more accepting, but when I give up something for Lent, say, my favorite snack, so she goes ahead and buys me my 2nd favorite snack, which has been sitting untouched in the refrigerator since Ash Wednesday.

Isn’t it ironic how those Sola Scriptura Christians are so hostile to fasting even though fasting is mentioned as a practice all throughout the New (and Old) Testaments?