Parental alienation?

[katy]

Has anyone here been deliberately alienated from a parent by the other parent and then come to realize it later? Our grandson has been successfully alienated from our son and our whole side of the family. His ex-wife and her family have convinced the grandson that they are the good guys, his dad and we are not, and he has bought it hook, line, and sinker despite any (truthful) evidence. So, we have all lost a son, grandson, nephew, etc. I’m wondering if it is likely he will eventually see what happened and we might get him back, and if there is anything we can do now? We send him presents, go to ball games, and try to keep contact but he just ignores us and is indifferent.

 

[Allegra]

I’m sorry this has happened to your grandson. I’m sorry to say that in my experience, this damage is rarely reversed. This brainwashing is done to children at such a young age that even when they are cognitively aware that the things the alienating parent told them aren’t true, they feel that they have to believe them because to do otherwise would be a betrayal of the alienating parent. They would have to deal with the fact that one of their parents systematically lied to them and manipulated them in order to deprive them of relationships with loved ones, all for their own selfish “emotional needs”.

My older step-siblings were alienated from my step-father by their mother. She was a nutty piece of work. She told anyone who would listen that my step-father raped/sexually abused (the story kept changing) one of my step-sisters. She also claimed that my step-father didn’t pay child support and had been cheating on her with my mother prior to their divorce. Both claims are ridiculous and very easy to prove false. My step-sister has been shown the evidence that child-support was paid, but she just broke down crying and saying that her mother would never lie to her.

Some are able to maintain some semblance of a relationship, but there is always damage. There’s also damage to the children’s ability to have appropriate relationships with others as they get older. It’s a horrible situation.