Hmmm…well, you can hardly get to be too good at communication, but particularly if you marry.
That doesn’t mean just talking. If you don’t tailor your communication to the temperament, likes, and dislikes of the person you are talking to, work on that. If you don’t consider what is a good time to talk to someone, work on that. If you don’t think about whether or not that great thing you have to say is actually going to do any good, work on that. If you think the opposite sex ought to learn to communicate in the way yours does, work on that. Certainly, the stuff in the book, the Five Love Languages could come in handy in dealing with a spouse and children who may seem as if they came from a different planet, LOL!
If you have any of these four very bad habits, stop it! Those are 1) deflecting criticism with defensive counter-criticism or shifting blame instead of accepting the portion you deserve, 2) making personal attacks of any kind–such as saying “you are so selfish” or “you always act so selfishly” instead of “that was a selfish thing to do”–the habit of 3) stonewalling (going into silent mode) when you’re upset with someone, especially if it is your way of showing displeasure, and 4) expressions of contempt such as name-calling, mockery, eye-rolling, and so on. These are called “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” by marriage researcher John Gottman, because they are that indicative of a couple headed for divorce. You can use his books to learn better ways to complain and better ways of dealing with complaints. Read some of his books, so if you start a relationship that is headed for trouble, you can either fix it or run.
The other thing to work on is to let go of all the *trivial *things you won’t do because it doesn’t suit you. Work on doing without the things that you think you have to have. Letting go of having complete control over your own money and your own time is a big deal for a lot of people when they marry!
Of course, I’ve heard many people suggest doing just those appropriate things that are wildly impractical to do with children or a mortgage* before* you marry: hike the Pacific Crest Trail, see Europe while staying in hostels to keep the costs down, have a foreign language immersion experience, build whatever gear you’re going to want for the next 15 or 20 years for whatever your hobby is, spend some extended period of time with your favorite friends from college or high school or with the cousins you enjoyed while growing up, take a road trip as an adult with your dad or mom or your siblings, or whatever. Mostly the things that take a big chunk of time that family and career are not going to let you do.
If you do that, though, do it with the understanding that letting go of what you want is ultimately a good thing for your soul, a radical sort of freedom. Sometimes, though, having had some of those experiences at an appropriate level and season of life makes the work of letting easier to do. If you live your whole life doing nothing but things like that, you may miss the season of building relationships, family, and career.
Oh, and pay down your debt with both hands and live at a standard low enough to habitually save money. I didn’t have that problem, but that has to be the number one thing people wish they did not have to deal with after they marry and have children. You can look at any financial planning book, and they will tell you all about the great advantages of starting a retirement nest egg while you are still in your 20s.
You may not make enough money to both do all those dream things and also become debt-free and content with a standard of living that allows saving. In that case, choose the latter!
One of the posters to my thread recommended it also to me.