Parents are divorcing

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SianTeresa

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I’m flabbergasted! I was on the phone to my sister. The rest of my family is atheist. She was telling me about some new shoes she bought, how she is going for a drink with an old boyfriend, and “oh yeah, Mum and Dad are getting divorced. Won’t that be cool?!” I asked my Mum and she said, “Why not? What difference does it make?”.

I can’t believe the flippancy with which my family treats the Sacrament of Marriage. My parents were married in a Protestant church, despite not being members. My question is, what is the gravity of their getting divorced? Their marriage was conducted before God, even though it took place in a heretical church, so they are not merely ending civil proceedings.

I’m feeling shocked that it means so little to them.
 
I am so sorry. Divorce is hard on the family no matter the age of the children.
 
divorce is not what’s bad, it’s getting divorced and then re-marrying thats bad, but quite honestly i can’t think of any way you could get it threw to a bunch of atheists about the sacrament of marriage, your only option i’d think would be to just pray for them alot.
 
EmeraldWings said:
divorce is not what’s bad, it’s getting divorced and then re-marrying thats bad, but quite honestly i can’t think of any way you could get it threw to a bunch of atheists about the sacrament of marriage, your only option i’d think would be to just pray for them alot.
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You are dead wrong. Divorce is bad. Bad for everyone involved. And hard for children to understand.
 
You are both right, in that divorce is in all situations bad for everyone involved, because of the emotional effects. But morally speaking, it is worse in certain situations - was the original marriage sacramentally valid, does re-marriage occur? This is what I am unsure of.

I will be praying for them a great deal. Please, if anyone reading would utter a quick prayer for them and for their salvation I would be grateful.
 
EmeraldWings said:
divorce is not what’s bad, it’s getting divorced and then re-marrying thats bad, but quite honestly i can’t think of any way you could get it threw to a bunch of atheists about the sacrament of marriage, your only option i’d think would be to just pray for them alot.
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This is not what the catechism teaches. From the Catechism:
**2384 ***Divorce *is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery.
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**2385 **Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.
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SianTeresa said:
I’m flabbergasted! I was on the phone to my sister. The rest of my family is atheist. She was telling me about some new shoes she bought, how she is going for a drink with an old boyfriend, and “oh yeah, Mum and Dad are getting divorced. Won’t that be cool?!” I asked my Mum and she said, “Why not? What difference does it make?”.

I can’t believe the flippancy with which my family treats the Sacrament of Marriage. My parents were married in a Protestant church, despite not being members. My question is, what is the gravity of their getting divorced? Their marriage was conducted before God, even though it took place in a heretical church, so they are not merely ending civil proceedings.

I’m feeling shocked that it means so little to them.
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Have they been baptized? If not it is not a sacrament but a natural marriage, a contract with only civil implications which does not hold the same gravity spiritually as a sacramental marriage.
 
jrabs said:
You are dead wrong. Divorce is bad. Bad for everyone involved. And hard for children to understand.
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yikes.
that’s not what i meant,
we are taught that it is a grave sin to get a divorce and then re-marry, in which case you would be living in sin and risk hell greatly.
but getting divorced itself is not a sin that would send you to hell.

i’m well aware how bad it is, i am completely against divorce(well, besides when it’s a justified cause…which is not common)
i know it’s hard on the children, and everyone involved,

i just wasn’t specific enough when i posted that, i gotta learn not to be to comfortable talking here like everyone knows what i mean…

but trust me, i know how bad divorce is and i know what the catechism teaches about it, i was just being to simple in my words.
 
I wasn’t very clear: I believe they were both baptised into protestant churches, though they haven’t attended them for years.
 
SianTeresa said:
I can’t believe the flippancy with which my family treats the Sacrament of Marriage. My parents were married in a Protestant church, despite not being members. My question is, what is the gravity of their getting divorced? Their marriage was conducted before God, even though it took place in a heretical church, so they are not merely ending civil proceedings.
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I’m sorry your parents are treating their marriage so flippantly.

However, I’m really not sure what your question is asking. You ask what the gravity of their getting a divorce is, but any level of gravity divorce may carry pales in comparison to the gravity of denying the existence of God. They are atheists! That in itself is very grave.

All people will stand before God in judgment and will be accountable for the truth they know and how they acted upon it. If your parents are invincibly ignorant regarding the choices they make, God will be merciful. If they willfully made their choices with knowledge of the consequences, then they will be judged accordingly.

So shall we all be.
 
I feel for you. My parents are both baptized, divorced and re-married. It’s so traumatic to go through. I was 17 when it happened and I quit highschool for a year b/c I was so depressed. Now I have a college degree, but back then, the only person I was hurting was myself. So be strong!

Just pick yourself up and say that while you respect your parents, you can’t control their thoughts and actions, and you are going to continue to live your life as a Catholic (I’m assuming). Continue to treat them with respect.

I am married to an amazing man who has the same morals I do. He’s so dedicated to me and our daughter and I love him so much. Do we fight? YES…all the time 🙂 BUT…we love eachother and value marriage. We will never get a divorce no matter how “bad” some times in our lives may be.

So what I’m trying to say is; try to remove yourself from this ugly situation the best you can and focus on your own life and your own future. Pray for your parents and also pray for strength to forgive them for what they are doing.

I found that by forgiving my parents and praying for them, it helped me so much. It made me stronger and more emotionally available to others that are close to me.
 
Hmmmm, what a touchy situation. I don’t know too much about this area of Theology and Ecclesiology, so I’m just gonna have to give you the best advice there is. Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is more powerful than we think.
 
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