Parents are VERY angry about my vocation

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Hello everyone,
First off, I’d like to thank everyone on this forum for being so supportive of each other. It’s truly beautiful to see strangers on the internet come together as a family in Christ. Here is my story in a nutshell. I’ll be 23 years old in a couple months. I started discerning the priesthood a year ago, so I told my priest. He told me not to hold my breath for it, since the bishop would probably decline me due to my past. I prayed that if this was really God’s will, then the bishop would allow it. Well I talked to my bishop and he told me he wanted me to wait, keep discerning, and talk to him in a few months. I did, and as he became more and more fond of me, it was becoming more clear that this long-shot was becoming a reality. So a few months ago, I let my parents know, and they were livid. They threw everything at me; celibacy, scandal in the priesthood, money, loneliness, etc…I’ve been taking hits about this ever since. Well my priest texted me just a few hours ago, and told me I can enter January 3rd. My heart dropped as I almost started tearing up, thanking God and Our Mother for this opportunity. So I told my parents that in a month I’ll be joining. My mom started crying uncontrollably saying, “how can you do this to me? For God’s sake (ironically enough) don’t do this.” My dad has cancer, but will hopefully be cured through chemo. He told me, “if I die i want you to remember that I’m not a proud father.” And I couldn’t believe he said that, I still can’t believe it while I’m writing this. My parents are good people, and I can understand how hard it must be. Unfortunately I can’t wait on this since the school schedule is structured to where I would have to enter in January. Well it’s 4am and I can’t sleep! :coffeeread:
Sorry this is long, God bless you all and thank you for reading while I vent!
 
Hello Friend,
I will keep you in my prayers for your vocation. I will keep your parents in my prayers also. I’m a convert to the Catholic faith and I found that my mother has been very mad about my converstion and she gives me jabs about it all the time. But I just let the light and love of my faith and my love for God shine out. You can’t argue with them, but you can blind them with your faith and love.
Be strong, pray for them everyday and offer it up to God that he’ll heal their hearts in time.

God bless,
Walter
 
I will be praying for you. Sometimes following Christ means that you need to leave everything else behind. Father Mitch Pacwa on EWTN often tells the story of how his father was very upset with him entering the priesthood. In time, his father came around and Fr. Mitch was able to hear his confession before his father died.

If you have a true vocation, then you should listen to it. Pray to Jesus and ask for the intercessions of Our Lady for the understanding of your parents.

Perhaps the Bishop would speak to them on your behalf at some point.

God bless you for your path and know that you are in my prayers.
 
I’m so sorry that they can’t share in your joy and excitement. Come here frequently to be encouraged and let us know how everything is going in seminary.

Wow, I just saw the post about Fr. Pacwa. If he didn’t receive the support of his parents then you’re in good company! He is such a wonderful priest - what a vocation.

I’ll pray for you and your parents, but congratulations on being accepted by the bishop!
 
Dear one, I received the same response initially from my father when I told him that I would be leaving college (I was a sophomore) to enter a contemplative monastery. He, on the other hand, knew I had been in communication with several communities of nuns for some time, so he was not totally shocked. In time he came around, so much so that when, after just over two years, I discerned that monastic life was not my vocation, my father was furious that I was leaving 🤷 (btw, I was a terrible nun, and it clearly was not my vocation)

Offer the suffering of your heart for your parents. Offer every sorrow, frustration, confusion, and joy to Our Lord through His Blessed Mother. Place your parents in Mary’s hands and ask her to bring them to her Son. Then cleave to Christ. Ask St. Therese of Lisieux to intercede for you as well. She had an intense dedication to priests, and of course, she also faced many obstacles to her own vocation.

God bless you. Be assured of our prayers for you.

Gertie
 
To the OP:

This is a little different but not really. I was in the religious life for several years and I can tell you that God blessed parents when He calls their children to follow him!!! I have seen some pretty amazing things !!

One story that comes to mind is a sister whose dad was convinced that the convent was some sort of cult. He was Catholic but had never gone to Mass for as long as she could remember. He was an angry person who cursed and yelled all the time.

Oneday he visited his daughter in the monastery ( she was in the cloister) and he remained livid. However, he returned the next visit, and the next. As time went on he began to be affected by the joy of his daughter and the other sisters. Finally, on the day she was to receive the habit of the order, his heart softened and he went to confession and received Communion. It was so beautiful!!! Sister was beyond thankful. The first time she ever saw her father receive the Eucharist was at her investment.

Anyway, from then on he was the most wonderful person to be around. He made his family start praying the rosary and became a huge support of the monastery. IT was a true miracle of conversion.Sister left the convent later because she descerned it was not her calling…but her dad is still on fire for the faith!!

So the point is, follow Christ wherever he leads you! He WILL care for your parents. If you truly have a calling and are ordained…your parents will come around and probably be the proudest parents. If you go and find it is not your calling, do not ever think it was a mistake or in vain! It will be the BEST experience of you life and prepare you for whatever God is calling you too. Do not let the devil convince you otherwise! God Bless and you will be in my prayers!

What diocese are you in??
 
I am sorry to hear that your parents don’t support you at this time. Based on what they told you, it sounds like they are being a bit selfish “how can you do this to ME” They are less concerned about you and more concerned about themselves. That being said as a parent I can see a little (very little) where they are coming from, they likely have dreams of your wedding and future grandchildren etc. I pray and hope they will change their attitude.

My parents were taken aback a bit when I converted. About 12 years latter my father entered the Catholic Church (on his own, without my prompting) and was baptized at age 70! He had a mentally debilitating stroke 5 months latter.

May God Bless you in your vocation!
 
Just a note to let you know there are those of us out here that still respect and honor the vocation of the priest, as this truly is a calling from God. Just be the very best Priest you can Step back and let Jesus lead your way.

I will pray for you brother and your parents as well.
We love you
Peace
 
The worse thing a parent can do is to try to run their kids life…They only make a ruin of it

If you said you wanted to be a teacher would they have told you about teacher scandals?

Remember what Our Lord told the man that wanted to wait to bury his father?

You do what will make you happy, then your life will be full
 
Maybe it would help the situation if you’d explain to your parents that you will be coming home to visit and will be making an additional effort considering your Dad is being treated for cancer. I’m sure they are feeling abandoned and vunerable right now. Offering your continued support back by daily phone calls should help.

Leaving isn’t unreasonable. At 24 you would be involved with your career no matter which path you were following.

I would also explain to your siblings that you are a phone call away.
 
Your parents are misinformed. A good priest is not usually lonely. Often they can’t find alone time.

Would they rather you tried marriage and ended up with a failed marriage and divorce and grandchildren they never see? You can’t mandate someone’s future.

Follow God’s plan for you. If that is the priesthood, follow it without reservation.

What I love are parents who tell their sons “Don’t waste your life.” And they don’t want people who are the best and the brightest to become priests. Then those are the very people who complain about the quality of priests out there.

Can’t have it both ways, people.

Maybe mom doesn’t want to share you with the world. Maybe dad wants his name to be glorified, not Christ’s.

Pray for them. Discern your true vocation, the one that will save as many souls as possible.

Good luck.
 
I can definitely sympathize with your situation. I haven’t told my parents that I think I have a vocation, but I can already hear my mom’s complaints… even now she talks about how lonely she is when I’m away at college. 😦

It’s hard to deal with disappointed and/or angry parents, but from what I’ve gathered so far, it’s a very, very common issue, so don’t feel like you’re alone. Even many saints dealt with parental resistance… I think the best thing to do is just pray for your parents, offer up the suffering (perhaps for the sake of current priests), and hope that when they are able to see that you are where you belong (and considering the obstacles of your ‘past’ that you’ve already overcome, it seems like you really will be), they will be happy for you. I know it’s still hard, but ultimately you have to do what God wants you to do, and you seem pretty confident about what that is.

Best of luck, and you will be in my prayers.
 
I helped a friend not long ago who discerned that she was possibly called to be a sister. She was very close to her family and not only was she frightened of the vocation, but her family was livid. Her father kept his distance and her mother cried all the time. I felt horrible for her, and I wanted to support her any way I could–even if just through email. I encouraged her to keep searching and get a spiritual director that would help her separate her feelings from God’s will. She did what I recommended, is preparing to enter a missionary community! 🙂

My point is that your parents should never try to stop you from following your calling in life. I said this same to my friend. God calls each person for a reason and what if someone decided their family was more important than the One who will love them no matter what? Are they willing to give up everything and be brave for Jesus who was so brave for us? You may never get your family’s approval, no matter what you do. Wouldn’t you rather follow your heart than a few nay-sayers? Do what makes you truly happy. If God wills it, they will come around. I will pray for your entrance into seminary and for the intention of your parents.
 
How very sad for your parents. I would love it if one of my children were to be discerneing a call. I will keep you in my prayers. I will also pray for your parents to come around and see the blessing that will come into their lives from this. Please do not let this stop you from entering the seminary. God bless you on your journey.
 
Whoa dude, I can’t believe your parents said that. So many parents would love to have a son like you. 🙂 I’ll be praying for you.
 
How tragic, instead of spending your efforts on a career that will make little to no difference to the world in 100 years (like the vast majority of us), you are choosing something of ETERNAL importance and they are disappointed. :confused:

Are they not catholic? Have they no conception of what catholicism teaches about this world, what is important and what isn’t?
 
Hi Everyone
Thank you so much for all your prayers, support, and advice. I really appreciate it. A couple people asked if my parents are Catholic; they are, but more like Catholic by culture. Also, aicrit, the Seminary I’m joining is not in another state. It’s actually only 15 minutes away from where I live with my parents right now. Regardless, I know I just have to pray through these tough times. Thank you all again! 🙂
 
So sorry to hear about your parents reaction. It’s not all that uncommon though. They usually come around fairly quickly. They probably just shocked and scared. By their reaction, I pretty sure they have very little understanding of the seminary or the life of a priest. This most likely isn’t something they ever dreamed you would do.

Our former Major Superiors father reacted that way. He said he would disown her. While she was still in the novitiate he made a complete turn-around. He kept bringing them things at the Novitiate and claimed them all as his daughters. 🙂

I left to join the sisters when my father had a terminal illness. I do think that God called me to leave at that time for a reason. My father, who had been away from the church for several years, did go to confession, receive communion and the anointing of the sick before he died. He passed away shortly after my first vows.

God bless you.
 
cu016584 said:
Hello everyone,
First off, I’d like to thank everyone on this forum for being so supportive of each other. It’s truly beautiful to see strangers on the internet come together as a family in Christ. Here is my story in a nutshell. I’ll be 23 years old in a couple months. I started discerning the priesthood a year ago, so I told my priest. He told me not to hold my breath for it, since the bishop would probably decline me due to my past. I prayed that if this was really God’s will, then the bishop would allow it. Well I talked to my bishop and he told me he wanted me to wait, keep discerning, and talk to him in a few months. I did, and as he became more and more fond of me, it was becoming more clear that this long-shot was becoming a reality. So a few months ago, I let my parents know, and they were livid. They threw everything at me; celibacy, scandal in the priesthood, money, loneliness, etc…I’ve been taking hits about this ever since. Well my priest texted me just a few hours ago, and told me I can enter January 3rd. My heart dropped as I almost started tearing up, thanking God and Our Mother for this opportunity. So I told my parents that in a month I’ll be joining. My mom started crying uncontrollably saying, “how can you do this to me? For God’s sake (ironically enough) don’t do this.” My dad has cancer, but will hopefully be cured through chemo. He told me, “if I die i want you to remember that I’m not a proud father.” And I couldn’t believe he said that, I still can’t believe it while I’m writing this. My parents are good people, and I can understand how hard it must be. Unfortunately I can’t wait on this since the school schedule is structured to where I would have to enter in January. Well it’s 4am and I can’t sleep! :coffeeread:
Sorry this is long, God bless you all and thank you for reading while I vent!
Click to expand...
St. thomas aquanis was locked up by his family but they eventualy came around, so will yours and if they don’t well not really that big of a deal becuse we love even if that love is not returned.
 
They are probably just scared, as this is something they didn’t expect.

Chances are they are acting out of fear and misunderstanding. Give them some time to cool off and absorb it all. When they realize you’re serious, I think they will come around and, at least, respect your decision to join the priesthood.
 
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