Parents are VERY angry about my vocation

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cu016584 said:
Hi Everyone
Thank you so much for all your prayers, support, and advice. I really appreciate it. A couple people asked if my parents are Catholic; they are, but more like Catholic by culture. Also, aicrit, the Seminary I’m joining is not in another state. It’s actually only 15 minutes away from where I live with my parents right now. Regardless, I know I just have to pray through these tough times. Thank you all again! 🙂
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I’ll say a prayer for you.

May God Bless your vocation!
 
I just had to respond to this. This is directed to the original poster. I would be honoured and flattered and blessed to have a son such as yourself discerning the priesthood. You see, I’m a convert, and I realize what such a blessing you would be to your flock, if that is God’s will. I’ve met many a younger priest through WYD Sydney, and they are all phenomenal priests. One in particular, Fr. Andrew,I think about even today. At that point, I think he was in the “honeymoon” phase of his priesthood, and it showed big-time.

Like yourself, I am beginning to discern a vocation, but to the religious life. I’ve only told one person, my confessor, and to be honest I’m not looking forward to telling my parents (I live at home still). When I converted, it wasn’t such a big deal, but that was with a different community with a different priest (and a pretty liberal one at that). My mom at that time was a Lutheran chaplain and big time into liturgy, and she loved talking with him about, well, anything. She’s is a Lutheran minister, but to be totally honest, we definitely have tension between us, and me telling her I may have a vocation, she would probably hit the roof. She has no issue going to Mass and receiving. Naturally I have a big issue with that and she expects me to reciprocate when I go to visit my sister in the States (she and her family are all Lutheran), and I know I can’t. Try explaining that to her in terms she’ll understand. 🤷 I have felt the calling to cover full-time for a good while, and I cover Muslim-style. Well, didn’t she hit the roof when she saw me arrive home from school like that. :eek: Pray for me as I’ll pray for you. My dad, on the other hand doesn’t really care one way or the other, but at the same time he’s not really into showing emotion or talking about it either, so I can’t really gauge one way or the other. It’s so tension-filled at home that I don’t feel I can cover at home, though I sooo feel I need to. Soo frustrating!!

Blessings,
Chantal
 
*So sorry that your parents are not supportive of this for you. Perhaps, your mother is concerned for you, because of the media frenzy that has surrounded the Church. The Church has had to deal with some difficult issues over the past several years. She doesn’t want to see you possibly get hurt. She also might want to see you get married, have children. It’s not an unusual reaction. I think that she might just be overwhelmed by several emotions. I remember a time when priests were always respected…by everyone, not just Catholics. And when parents were THRILLED that their sons were considering the priesthood. The priest scandals play a part in that changing, but not entirely. I think that we have just become a material, secularized world…where morality is relative, and how much stock you own, and how large your house is, is considered ‘‘important.’’ I don’t know your parents of course, but they probably have a series of emotions going on in their minds. Your dad having cancer (I’m sorry about that too)…he might not be thinking straight, in dealing with the stress of his disease. I’m not defending their reactions, but just trying to offer some food for thought as to the ‘WHY’ behind their reactions.

That said, your mom will have to come to terms with it somehow…on her own.:o I am praying for you during this discernment period. I told another poster here thinking about the priesthood, also…**we need good men like you! *Thank you so much for not turning away from God’s still voice, calling you to explore this. God bless you!
 
I am so sorry for you! Don’t worry, I’ll add you to my prayers! It’s sad that your parents are not happy for you; the call to the life of priesthood is a great thing. The priests I have been able to meet after church are so happy in their vocation. Let me tell you a quick story, it might be able to explain why your parents are so distressed about your calling.

One day, for All Saints Day, my class was allowed to dress up as a saint for the day as part of our religion project. I was Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta. A lot of my classmates said I looked really good as a nun. Next All Saints Day, I was St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. My parents joked around that I would become a nun someday. I didn’t like it at first, but over time, I actually wanted to be one. Later on, my mother said, “You know, dear, back in the hospital where you were born, a nun took care of you. I think she did something to you!” Ha-ha! So, when I told my family I wished to be a nun, they were actually not surprised.

So please, mister, don’t get too distressed over your parents. If the Lord wills that you become a priest, you will. I will pray that you fulfill your vocation. Your parents LOVE you, and they don’t want you to do something they think is a big mistake in their eyes. Keep going after your vocation, and pray and love your family. I wish you the best!😃
 
To the OP: I admire your courage and conviction immensely. My conversion to Catholicism has caused no small amount of tension in my own family. It’s not fun to deal with, especially when you love your parents, and wish they could share with you the joy of the Catholic faith.

I often remind myself of Jesus’ words: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”

You have my sincere prayers, brother.

Chris
 
Congradulations on your vocation. 🙂 You know, Fr Mitch Pacwa’s father also disapproved of his vocation but he eventually came around and even asked to confess to him. Maybe you can contact him for advice:

ignatiusproductions.org/ or email a question to his show on EWTN, Threshold of Hope

threshold@ewtn.com I think this is a better choice of the two.

In Jesus through Mary †

CF
 
A Bible verse for you from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Afternoon reading (None) Isaiah 61:11 ©
As the earth makes fresh things grow,
as a garden makes seeds spring up,
so will the Lord make both integrity and praise spring up
in the sight of the nations.
 
God bless you and your parents.

A deacon as the seminary where I study right now had to go through very similar situation. His parents got their own plan for him but that was not what he wanted. His mother was very upset and got really mad at the priest who guided him to the vocation of the priesthood. His father disowned him.

With God’s grace, at his ordination, the parents went to confession and obtain so much peace and they are a very proud parent of their son.

He is an awesome deacon, and by this summer he will be ordained as a priest.

I pray for you, brother.
 
God Bless you!

I doubt that Jesus would not be proud of you becoming a Priest!

Who would you rather disappoint, a father who is ill & irrational or Jesus Christ, our Lord & Savior?

You are only 23 so slow down & be sure this is God’s will for you. Any true vocation, the Priesthood, Religious life , Marriage or just celibacy, requires life-long sacrifice.

Jesus speaks to each one of us when He says, "And he said to all, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Lk 9:23)

Pray on this Scripture in front of the Blessed Sacrament. **‘he said to ALL! …let him deny himself’ (ouch) & TAKE UP HIS CROSS DAILY! ( daily ouch!!)
**
i for one tend to take up my cross when it is easy & convenient for me, surely not daily & i surely almost never deny myself, “it’s all about me”.

Wow, i’ve got to go & spend some time in silent prayer, my perpetual failure makes me ashamed of me!!!

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark
 
I am so sorry to hear of the difficult situation you are facing with your parents. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. I cannot help but express my excitement, joy, and thankfulness at your priestly vocation, though! God is truly raising up a great army of holy, committed priests who will lead His flock with conviction and strength. You will be part of that great army, and that is truly exciting!! I am certain that many souls will be shepherded well under your care.

I will ask for a Mass to be said for you on January 3, the day you enter seminary. That is the Feast of St. Genevieve. She was a great prayer warrior whose intercession saved Paris from an attack by the Huns. No doubt your prayers and priestly intercessions will hold back many attacks of the enemy of souls from your flock.

Remember the great promises of the God who calls you to be His alone: “I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the Lord; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive” (Jeremiah 29:11-15).
 
cu016584 said:
Hello everyone,
First off, I’d like to thank everyone on this forum for being so supportive of each other. It’s truly beautiful to see strangers on the internet come together as a family in Christ. Here is my story in a nutshell. I’ll be 23 years old in a couple months. I started discerning the priesthood a year ago, so I told my priest. He told me not to hold my breath for it, since the bishop would probably decline me due to my past. I prayed that if this was really God’s will, then the bishop would allow it. Well I talked to my bishop and he told me he wanted me to wait, keep discerning, and talk to him in a few months. I did, and as he became more and more fond of me, it was becoming more clear that this long-shot was becoming a reality. So a few months ago, I let my parents know, and they were livid. They threw everything at me; celibacy, scandal in the priesthood, money, loneliness, etc…I’ve been taking hits about this ever since. Well my priest texted me just a few hours ago, and told me I can enter January 3rd. My heart dropped as I almost started tearing up, thanking God and Our Mother for this opportunity. So I told my parents that in a month I’ll be joining. My mom started crying uncontrollably saying, “how can you do this to me? For God’s sake (ironically enough) don’t do this.” My dad has cancer, but will hopefully be cured through chemo. He told me, “if I die i want you to remember that I’m not a proud father.” And I couldn’t believe he said that, I still can’t believe it while I’m writing this. My parents are good people, and I can understand how hard it must be. Unfortunately I can’t wait on this since the school schedule is structured to where I would have to enter in January. Well it’s 4am and I can’t sleep! :coffeeread:
Sorry this is long, God bless you all and thank you for reading while I vent!
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Hi :hug1:

I’m so sorry… I can understand how difficult and painful this must be. I’m your age and discerning my vocation. At one point I mentioned religious life, and though I didn’t even say that I’m thinking of it, my parents got extremely upset… especially my dad. It took me a long time to get over that. The difficult part is they were truly concerned about me…also talking about loneliness and being “in a cage” (cloister) etc. I didn’t even know what to say, I just went to my room and cried for an hour. lol. I can’t imagine how it must be when you’re already serious about it. I think it’s pretty amazing how the Bishop and the priest decided to let you in, even though the priest was initially skeptical… that’s definitely a great sign. Don’t worry about your past…God can turn anything to good… I recently heard about a priest who used to be an alcoholic, and now he ministers to people struggling with this addiction and God is using him in great ways.

I think your parents reaction is a cross to carry… a pretty heavy cross, actually. It might help to know that some of the Saints have struggled with the same thing. For example, St Francis, and St Clare. Pray for your parents and try to talk to them… try to explain what the priesthood is really like, or, better yet, get a priest to talk to them, maybe… most of all, pray. Maybe in time their hearts would be changed. This has happened too.

As for your decision… I can imagine it must be hard having to suddenly DECIDE what to do… my spiritual director gave me a booklet to read about discernment. It said, the times you feel peace - that’s when it’s easiest to hear God. Go to an Adoration chapel or just an empty church and pray before the Tabernacle. Tell God everything and be totally honest with Him. Ask Him for strength and peace. Ask Him to guide you… talk to your priest. In the end, trust Him. Pray as much as you can about your family and try to talk to them - but don’t argue. I hope and pray God would guide you in your decision and would help your parents accept His will for you.

God bless you
 
I just thought,

Maybe your parents have some misunderstandings about the priesthood (sure sounds like it!) and it would help them to learn more 🙂
 
How ironic that I should happen upon this post. I just posted a question about how best to go about nurturing the incipient vocation of my 14 year old son! I very much support him if God is truly caling him to the priesthood. I cannot imagine a more wonderful blessing for me, his mother. I feel unworthy to have raised such a son as I was for years a lapsed Catholic and in his early years did not take pains to raise him properly in the faith. If you could give me some advice on how to help him, I’d appreciate it.
As for you, pray your your parents and remember the words of our Lord.
 
My first reaction to this is to feel sorry for you but then I realized that there is no need to be sorry because through this cross you will only be closer to Christ and how can I be sorry about that? I know that you will pull through this and that your faith will be strengthened. Plus you never know how these events in your life will touch someone else years down the road. I was on a discernment retreat and Father James Moore OP was telling his story and though it was hard for him to go through at the time it was exactly what I needed to hear. Your story is not only being written for you but it is being written for others as well. Trust in Him always and know that no matter what happens He will not let you fall. You are in my prayers and Masses.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!
 
You must not have brothers? I can see where your parents are coming from esp if you are there only son, but if this is what YOU want then thats what YOU need to do. In the end…your parents will be gone from this earth, you will live a life wondering “what if” and not happy in the state that you will be in. do what is right FOR YOU…cause YOU have your life to live. The path has been set for you…there is a fork in the road…which one will you take. One is to please your parents…and the others is to serve the Lord.
 
Hi all,
Thank you all for your support and prayers. I really shouldn’t be complaining, as I have friends like all you for support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, I love you all! I spoke with my spiritual director today for the first time (early meeting), and it went great! He gave me some good advice as to how to handle the home situation. He even told me he was jealous of me for my current suffering since it will only strengthen my faith and love for God. Today was a big day; I became a lector, and I consecrated myself to Jesus through Mary (St. Louis de Montford). Anyways, just wanted to post an update. Thank you all again and you are all in my prayers!
 
cu016584 said:
Hi all,
Thank you all for your support and prayers. I really shouldn’t be complaining, as I have friends like all you for support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, I love you all! I spoke with my spiritual director today for the first time (early meeting), and it went great! He gave me some good advice as to how to handle the home situation. He even told me he was jealous of me for my current suffering since it will only strengthen my faith and love for God. Today was a big day; I became a lector, and I consecrated myself to Jesus through Mary (St. Louis de Montford). Anyways, just wanted to post an update. Thank you all again and you are all in my prayers!
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Sometimes there is an elephant in the room and everyone makes believe he is not there, because facing that truth is so scary. Emotional breakdowns or upheavals are tools to hide elephants.

But emotional reactions generally have something intellectual behind them. People lose their calm emotionally in situations, when there is something they are afraid to address openly and honestly, something hidden, sometimes painful. The emotions mask the real issues. When spouses argue with one another they can become irrational. The things they rant and rave about are almost never what is really bothering them. Parents can be like this also.

Parents know their children pretty well. It would be better if they supported you. Could you ask them to put the emotions aside and have a discussion about what might really be their reasons for their objections? If they can be calm and honest you might learn something important.

It could be helpful to you to find out their real reasons for their objections.
 
Dear Observing Member,

There’s an old saying, “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.” It would seem to apply to you with exclamation points.

It’s obvious from your post that you have travelled fairly rapidly from rejection to acceptance in your aspirations for the vocation of priesthood. Not so long ago you were told “No.” and now the bishop has seen something in you that has gained his trust and acceptance. I’m not a cradle Catholic, only a member of our local RCIA class, so I am no expert, but it seems to me you have achieved an extraordinary thing.

Your parent’s objections must have come as a shock. It sounds like your father’s recent illness has undermined both of your parents’ confidence. It’s reasonable that they might feel as if they are being abandoned. Hopefully, in time, they will receive reassurance in ways that they can accept. Be patient, be strong.

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Best Wishes on Your Journey,

Robin
 
You are in my prayers. May God bless you and keep you. I will put your intentions on our prayer line at my church as well, as we always pray for vocations. They are needed so much. Please do not be discouraged. We will pray for your parents as well. In time they may come to understand and even embrace your vocation.

When I converted to Catholicism from the Methodist Church at the age of 21, my parents were angry. They thought I was thumbing my nose at them and their deeply held beliefs. This was nearly 30 years ago. In time, they came to terms with my decision and even began to learn more about the Catholic faith, and became happy that I had found it, although they will remain Protestants. It may take some time but continue to pray that in time your parents will understand. Peace be with you .
 
I’m sorry to hear about your parents not being excited about your aspirations. It reminds me of how my parents have been the main obstacle at the moment in regards to the Catholic college I hope to transfer to for this upcoming term. They seem to be putting more time into $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ than their faith at the moment.😦

I’ll pray for you too.
 
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