Parents excluded from Confirmation preparation classes

  • Thread starter Thread starter CheeseHead1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
If you go for the homeschooling option, you find yourself appealing to the bishop directly. My own pastor was unwilling to take up his priestly authority to authorize an exception to the diocesan guidelines for preparation for first communion, though it is clearly within his purvue to do so as keeper of the sacraments. Of course, you will need to be willing to share your curriculum and plans with your pastor so that he can ensure the religious education is complete and authentically Catholic. He may also ask your son to submit to an interview or test of some sort to ensure he has learned what he should before recommending him to the bishop for confirmation.
 
CheeseHead1
I hope you won’t lose sight of how dedicated your DRE and his/her catechists are even at those times when you may not see eye to eye. 🙂 These ministries are a collaborative effort as has been indicated. I think there are very helpful posts here in terms of insight into the differences that exist. We all have different gifts and part of our roles as parents is to model an appreciation of those who may have different approaches, living the habit of sincere charity, loving God and one another especially when it’s difficult to do so.🙂
 
I know it’s been a while since I started this thread, but I wanted to add some information that others might find useful. I did attend a “Protecting God’s Children” training session sponsored by the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. They gave all the participants a handout, which included these points below. At least this provides a concrete reference point for the official training that is being conducted at the archdiocesan level relative to to this topic.
Step One - Know the Warning Signs
  1. Discourages other adults from participating or monitoring.
  2. Always wants to be alone with young people.
    (steps 3-10 skipped)
Step Two - Control Access (skipped)

Step Three - Monitor All Programs
Click to expand...
Ways to Monitor Programs

  1. *]Identify secluded areas, lock empty rooms.
    *]Develop policies regarding use of secluded areas. For example, staff should check bathrooms before sending children home.
    *]Do not permit children to enter staff-only areas.
    *]Only meet with children where other adults have open access.
    *]Supervisors should have open access to all programs.
    *]Make sure enough adults are involved in all programs.
    *]Allow parents to have access to all programs.
    *]Don’t start new programs without approval from appropriate individuals (i.e., pastor, principal).
    *]Encourage parental involvement.
    *]Make sure that computers are located in open-access areas.
    *]Encourage the monitoring of all youth Internet activities as well as the use of appropriate blocking and filtering software.
Click to expand...

  1. Step Four - Be Aware (skipped)
    Step Five - Communicate Your Concerns (skipped)
    Click to expand...
    I think that points 7 and 9 above make it very clear that parents should have access to catechetical programs that their children are involved in.

    Hope this is helpful to other parents who might be concerned about this same topic.
 
this is our attitude as well in this parish, but you are definitely in a minority for wanting to participate at all.
by junior high parental involvement dries up and blows away, and I have to spend my time coaxing parents to the 3 required prep meetings for they and the sponsors. To get them to any other session I would have to issue subpoenas and send a sherrif’s deputy to get them here.

that being said when it comes to the time to break into small group formats for discussion where candidates are encouraged to speak freely, they generally won’t do that when parents participate, and it alters the whole experience. But there is plenty the parents could be doing at the same time. Parents that do remain or assist with the children’s or youth sessions must also take the PGC and other training.
 
My parents did not attend my weekly religious education classes in high school leading up to confirmation when I was in the 11th grade and age 17. My classmates were the same grade and age 16/17 like me.

Keep in mind, it was about 20 years ago too, and times have changed.

One parent and our sponsor were to attend a special class or 2 with us before Confirmation.

The class we had a retreat at the church and rectory, spent the night at the church then were dismissed in the early morning to go home to change from our casual clothes for the Confirmation Mass then come back with our families & sponsor for the Mass.

My mother would have had a hard time attending every class due to her work and my sister’s sports stuff. But she took me to and from class at church every week that we had religious education without fail, and made time.
 
puzzleannie said:
that being said when it comes to the time to break into small group formats for discussion where candidates are encouraged to speak freely, they generally won’t do that when parents participate, and it alters the whole experience. But there is plenty the parents could be doing at the same time. Parents that do remain or assist with the children’s or youth sessions must also take the PGC and other training.
Click to expand...
I have found this as well. Even if it wasn’t their parent in the room, some kids feel kind of inhibited in speaking in front of their friend’s parent. Even in our youth group, we try to get assistants for weekly sessions who are not parents of the kids so that they can speak freely.
 
Joannm said:
I have found this as well. Even if it wasn’t their parent in the room, some kids feel kind of inhibited in speaking in front of their friend’s parent. Even in our youth group, we try to get assistants for weekly sessions who are not parents of the kids so that they can speak freely.
Click to expand...
I can see why that might be considered valuable. However, if the parent wants to be there, the teacher can’t prohibit it, at least not in my diocese. If there is some activity that the teacher feels absolutely must be conducted without parents, the parent must be given the option to “opt out” his/her student with no penalty.

However, as Annie mentioned, the bigger problem is getting enough parents, not with “unwanted” parents. If a parent showed up, we would probably put him/her to work. 😃
 
Hi all, wow, thanks for the fast responses and ongoing discussion!

I am definitely sympathetic to the fact that having a teen’s parent in the room may affect the classroom experience - perhaps dampening discussion as mentioned by above posters. Or similarly, having another teen’s parent in the room.

To me, the principle that parents should have access to the catechetical instruction if they so wish is important and should be a fundamental principle. After that is established, then the parents in conjunction with the teachers or the program directors could discuss how or whether this right should be exercised - perhaps breaking out into an adult discussion group during discussion periods, perhaps choosing to assist with another class (instead of the class their own children are in), etc.

Without going into details, I will share that there have been two cases in my own experience (one in a previous parish, one in my current parish) where I was concerned about the catechetical instruction that was being taught, or (in one case) the moral choices (and thus, the living example) that were being made by the religious education teacher. Given all the variety in the church today, some orthodox, some not-so-orthodox, I think it is very important that parents have the option to participate in or attend the religious education programs for their children. Whether the parents actually choose to attend (or not) is another matter.

I agree with the comments above - in most cases, parents will choose not to attend. But it’s an important precept to me that the parents should have the right to attend if they so choose.

Blessings to you all!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top