Parents not coming to Baptism

[Mary_Gail_36]

When I was Baptised, my parents did not attend. The reason they did not attend is because my superstitious grandmother said that it was bad luck for the parents to go to the Baptism.

I’m assuming that I was validly Baptised since I have the certificate from the Church and all…but isn’t this highly odd? Should the Priest performing the Baptism have explained to my Godparents that my parents needed to be there? Maybe postpone it till the week later?

BTW my Baptism was about 40 years ago…

 

[Claire_from_DE]

When I was Baptised, my parents did not attend. The reason they did not attend is because my superstitious grandmother said that it was bad luck for the parents to go to the Baptism.

I’m assuming that I was validly Baptised since I have the certificate from the Church and all…but isn’t this highly odd? Should the Priest performing the Baptism have explained to my Godparents that my parents needed to be there? Maybe postpone it till the week later?

BTW my Baptism was about 40 years ago…

In my experience, back then the godparents held the child for the baptism. I remember that my mother wasn’t present at my brother’s baptism in 1953 since new mothers were told by their doctors to not go out for a week or so after the birth. Maybe it didn’t seem odd to the priest back then?

It sounds like your grandmother had some wacky ideas. Your parents should have known better. Since you have your baptismal certificate, you know you were validly baptized.

 

[Phemie]

Few if any of the older ladies in my parish were ever present for their children’s baptisms. Women just didn’t go out that early after birth back then and before they came back to the church they had to be ‘churched’, a practise I’d never heard of until I came here. So your parents’ non-presence at your baptism was probably not that unusual.

FYI, I was born in '53, my brother in '54 and another brother in '58. Mom never saw any of us baptized. My brother and I were both at our younger brother’s baptism though and, although I would have just turned 5 when he was baptized, I remember it to this day.

In my case even my godparents didn’t hold me for my baptism. That was reserved for my aunt since, in the tradition of the day, a woman called a ‘porteuse’ (holder or carrier) was chosen/honored to hold the baby for the baptism. Mine happened to be the mother of my godparents who were 10 & 12 at the time.

 

[Joannm]

I was born in 54, my sister in 56 and my brothers in 59. My mother didn’t attend any of our baptisms. It wasn’t done back then. Mothers stayed home. we were also baptized very soon after birth…maybe 3 weeks. At that time mothers sayed in the hospital a week and weren’t allowed to go out for about a month.

 

[Frosty]

My oldest brother and I, (twins born in the late 1940’s ) were the only children in my family who received what we consider a traditional Baptism, The rest of my siblings, all born during the 1950’s were baptized immediately after they were born. The reason was that my mother had RH negative blood and my dad was RH positive. Back in those days usually the first born of parents with those blood types were okay but any ensuing children had to have a full blood transfusion in order to survive. Actually, my next brother was the first baby to have this procedure done in my province. The small Catholic hospital in our small town was not equipped to deal with this and so the babies had to be rushed almost immediately to the closest hospital which could. In our case, it was a 50 mile drive. Anyway. as soon as my mother went into labour, our pastor was notified so that he could be on hand to baptize the baby as soon as it was born. That pastor used to joke with my dad that he had spent as many hours pacing the floor waiting for the birth of my younger siblings as dad had and in fact, more since dad had been out of town when the youngest was born. The same pastor baptized all six of them. I know that one of my aunts was the godmother to all six. I suppose the reason was that she was a maternity nurse at the hospital and had made sure that she was with my mother at the births. Our family doctor was godfather to four and another doctor was godfather to the last two.
My mother was always disappointed that she was not able to use again the beautiful baptismal gowns handed down from three generations that my brother and I had been baptized wearing. By the time grandchildren came along, the gowns were too fragile to be used .

 

[kristie_m]

Wow. I can’t imagine not being present for my kids’ baptisms. Next to their birth, their baptism was the thing I looked forward to the most!

 

[Phemie]

Wow. I can’t imagine not being present for my kids’ baptisms. Next to their birth, their baptism was the thing I looked forward to the most!

I know, I couldn’t imagine it either.

All 3 of us were whisked away to the church on our first Sunday out of the hospital and back then women didn’t usually go out before they were 40 days post-partum – for many, if not most, their 6 week check-up was their first excursion out of the house. Imagine telling one of today’s young mothers that she can’t go out for 6 weeks after she has a baby – she’d tell you you’re insane. Heck, 30 years ago I’d have told you you were insane if you’d told me that!

 

[Joannm]

I know, I couldn’t imagine it either.

All 3 of us were whisked away to the church on our first Sunday out of the hospital and back then women didn’t usually go out before they were 40 days post-partum – for many, if not most, their 6 week check-up was their first excursion out of the house. Imagine telling one of today’s young mothers that she can’t go out for 6 weeks after she has a baby – she’d tell you you’re insane. Heck, 30 years ago I’d have told you you were insane if you’d told me that!

When my kids were born I was in the hospital I think 3 days (now they keep you just overnight). The first thing I did when I got home was get out, well maybe not with my first since there was snow on the ground. I even went to Mass the Sunday after my kids were born. As one who does baptism interiews in the parish I always am amazed how new moms give that as an excuse for not going to Mass on Sundays…“oh I have a new baby.” I see plenty of parents coming to Mass with newborns or else they do like we did and take turns going to different masses while the other spouse stays home with the baby.

 

[Phemie]

When my kids were born I was in the hospital I think 3 days (now they keep you just overnight). The first thing I did when I got home was get out, well maybe not with my first since there was snow on the ground. I even went to Mass the Sunday after my kids were born. As one who does baptism interiews in the parish I always am amazed how new moms give that as an excuse for not going to Mass on Sundays…“oh I have a new baby.” I see plenty of parents coming to Mass with newborns or else they do like we did and take turns going to different masses while the other spouse stays home with the baby.

My kids were born in 79, 82 & 84 and I was in the hospital at least 5 days with each. By the time I went home, nursing was well established and I knew what I was doing. As a former nurse I cringe when I see these first-time moms going home to no help with a day old baby.

I think I missed the first Sunday with my first because I was still in too much pain to sit in a pew. But from that point on she was on my chest in her Snugli and I was at Mass. Mom thought that was strange but when I was growing up little kids weren’t taken to Mass. My parents did the low Mass/high Mass while we were small or they hired our cousins to babysit us if for some reason they wanted to be at a Mass together. I think we were about 4 before we started going to Mass regularly with our parents – kept quiet by a squeeze of the knee if we got too fidgety for my dad.

 

[Catholic90]

With my first, I was in the hospital 2 nights. For the rest, it was only one night. My kids were born on a Sunday, a Monday, and a Wednesday. I was in church with each newborn the next Sunday. Each was baptized at 4 weeks old, and I was there!

 

[Brenda_V]

I am not 100% sure but I think my mom was present at my Baptism and I was born in 1958 and was Baptized on Easter Sunday at around 1 week old (or close to it).

All of mine were Baptized before they were three weeks old. One in the hospital the night she was born but we did not know if she was going to make it through the night.

Brenda V.