Parents opinions, my dog

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purplesunshine

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I’m 400 mi from home with my own place.

I made a choice to adopt a dog with a sad background. And unwanted, probably abused puppy who was given to the shelter at 8mo’s. She bounced from shelter to shelter (one of which was abusive) until she was 2.5 when I adopted her. She was overly friendly and skittish all at once. She didn’t know anything, would buck on a leash, that is, after you finally caught her. I am single so I was well able to take on the responsibility.

These past few months I’ve done alot of work with her she can sit, gives me her paw, waits for food, can walk nicely on a leash WITHOUT a training aid (eg. choke coller, head halter, ez-harness). She even will come when called.

Anyway, long story short. Last week at a family thing my aunts criticized me for keeping my dog tied, under close surveillance, feeding her only “snooty” dog food,(she will fart if I don’t) rewarding her too much (just kibble). But she’s my dog and it was my decision. I finally gave in and let her off the tie-out. She was fine and didn’t run away, although I was nervous. So for the rest of the time my aunts used this as point proof I can’t raise a dog. My mom, thus, got irritated at my attention to my dog that I couldn’t give to her, especally after my aunts pointed it out.

Today I was informed of an event that I cannot miss. (brother’s wedding) Its over 8 hours from my home. I wanted to stay at my parents (5.5 hours away), leave the dog with their cats (they get along…to the point of cuddling) and go up to the wedding and go to their home after for a good night’s sleep and the drive back to my home. My mom, however, expects me to be at the hotel with everyone else and stay as long as everyone else. Even if I kennel my dog I still need to leave early so I can be back in town by noon that Sunday or else I won’t be able to get my dog for a week b/c of the hours I work. She’s at a point where she’s annoyingly overly-friendly so my neighbors & friends won’t watch her.

Either way, if I kennel my dog or not, I cannot stay up late. The dog is a big reason but not all of it…I have an 8 Hr drive and my mom just dosn’t get it. But she’s acting like I’m picking my dog over my family. Am I?
 
Am I correct in assuming you already explained all of the circumstances involved with your wanting to not stay up late? If not, that needs to be your first step - in a loving but assertive manner. I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re old enough to live on your own, there will be times that your decisions will not please your parents. It’s unfortunate but inevitable. If you truly can find no other solution, then you need to lovingly state it, and then stick to it. If they refuse to allow you to have your dog stay at their place, then you need to find an alternative. The key is acting grown up without being nasty about it. Good luck! 👍

btw, I say this as a person who is in no way a dog-lover, and also a person who was not very good about asserting myself with my parents when I was younger.
 
Find a reputable kennel or even a vet near your house(lots of vets board dogs)…Go to the hotel with your family, enjoy yourself…if you have to leave the dog an extra night…he will be fine…don’t miss out on things with your family b/c of your dog, as long as the dog is in your loving home now, he will be fine, a few days away will not hurt him…probably the best is a vets, they love animals…
 
dashso40 said:
Find a reputable kennel or even a vet near your house(lots of vets board dogs)…Go to the hotel with your family, enjoy yourself…if you have to leave the dog an extra night…he will be fine…don’t miss out on things with your family b/c of your dog, as long as the dog is in your loving home now, he will be fine, a few days away will not hurt him…probably the best is a vets, they love animals…
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I know a repudable kennel, one that has helped train her. But they are VERY strict on their pick-up rules and I can’t ask for time off to pick up the dog. So i’d be a week-long stay.
 
Did you try your vet? I know a lot of people that board at vets and the doggies are treated very well…We have so many vets here, but I live in a very populated area …I don’t know if your area has a lot…
 
Your question
Either way, if I kennel my dog or not, I cannot stay up late. The dog is a big reason but not all of it…I have an 8 Hr drive and my mom just dosn’t get it. But she’s acting like I’m picking my dog over my family. Am I?
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My answer to your question is you are not picking your dog over family! You are showing responsibility towards another creature in how you choose to attend this Wedding.

The fact that you need to leave the festivities early to get a good nights sleep before you travel home has absolutely nothing to do with your dog. Your safety should be of more concern to your mom than how long you spend with everyone!

Now for the problem of where to board the dog, is there a place near your parents where you can board her with slightly more liberal pick-up policies? That way you can pick her up on your way back to your place.

Brenda V.
 
I too think you are thinking of the dog because you took on this responsibility and your decision has little to do with picking it over your family. Plus you have an 8 hr. drive ahead of you.

Our dog stays in the car when we go somewhere. She’s use to it. She has a bed,water, and food. Yes, we’ve gone to affairs with dog in the parking lot. One of us will go out and walk her. Will yours do that?

Will the hotel take a dog? If not that hotel, is there one near-by that you can go to, get a good night’s sleep and take off Sunday? That way you can be with your family and even have breakfast with them in the morning.

It is pretty expensive to leave a dog in a kennel for a week. And if she hasn’t been in a kennel since you got her, she might feel rejected. I’m glad she gets along with Mom’s cats, but has she ever stayed over alone in that house? She could become destructive.
 
Here’s an idea:

Ask if you can place an ad in your church bulletin or local news paper for a teen or older child to “dog sit” for you for a small fee. You might get lucky and find an excellent dog sitter.

Often, kids will beg and beg for a dog, but parents are unsure if the kids can handle the responsibility of a puppy. This might be an excellent trial run with a real life dog, but the dog will go home, so it is a small commitment instead of a lifelong commitment. Plus kids like to earn a little pocket money.

When my sister got married, my mom had a puppy that was 3 months old. She knew that she could not attend to the puppy that day or through the evening (late reception) so she lined up a 6th grade boy who lived down the street to care for and play with the puppy all day and overnight. He had a great time with the puppy and the puppy was certainly well cared for and not lonely. Two few years later, when my mom was dying, the boy would come back to visit and walk the dog for her. Eventually, he was allowed to get his own dog because he was so responsible.
 
If your parent’s house where you’d like to leave the dog is 2.5 hours away from the wedding, you’ll be gone 5 hours in travel time alone. Added to that is the time spent at the wedding plus reception… that seems like a long time to leave a dog unattended. Won’t the dog need to be taken out?
 
purplesunshine said:
I know a repudable kennel, one that has helped train her. But they are VERY strict on their pick-up rules and I can’t ask for time off to pick up the dog. So i’d be a week-long stay.
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Could you ask someone to pick up the dog for you? Like on Monday… and then take the dog back to your house?
 
Many hotels take dogs. No way would I ever leave my dogs at a kennel for longer than I had to, its expensive and they miss me.

I would call the hotel, see if they take dogs for an extra fee. Invest in a good cage (if you haven’t already, you should anyway) and go and have fun.

I work with abused dogs, I have one now that is very hard to leave. But usually there is a way to work it out.

If the hotel won’t take dogs, look for someone to dogsit for you. Craigslist.org usually has some ads in the pets section, or put an ad locally to find someone.
 
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