Parents railroading my career?

[JackVk]

I’m getting close to a supervisor position at my current job at UPS. I’m 24 and still living at home. However, my parents, especially my mom, have been egging me on about going to work for the post office instead, because they pay a little more. I just took the postal test this morning, but to be brutally honest, I have no desire or interest to leave UPS. I have several reasons for this:

1. I have worked very hard for this, and have been at my current job for almost a year. I understand that I have to look out for Number One career-wise, but going to another company seems like a complete waste of my last year (I am a 2-time employee of the month).
2. Because of their union contract, UPS pays for my health insurance in full. That just kicked in a couple weeks ago. The post office, like UPS, tries to avoid this by making much of its workforce temporary workers.
3. If I get interviewed and get a PO job, I’m back to Square One. Where I am, I have networked and made a name for myself. My bosses and co-workers like me, and chances are a promotion is only a matter of time.

I don’t even have an interview yet (I applied for one rural route and one city route in a small town). But my mom is demanding that, if I am offered the job, I quit UPS and take it, solely because of the pay.

I’m not just being stubborn or naive here. I genuinely think it is within my rational best interest to stay where I am. But my mom still insists, simply because of the slightly higher base pay. I tell her all of this, and she won’t acknowledge anything I say.

I’ve tried to put it in God’s hands, but I’m so confused. I am praying to not be selected from an interview, ironically. I have no desire or interest to go work for the PO; I only studied for the test and applied so my folks would quit badgering me about it. Since I live with them, am I obligated to be marched into a life-defining career change against my will?

Addendum: my dad is slightly more supportive of me staying. But he maintains that “I have to think full-time”, which I understand.

 

[EasterJoy]

You are extremely early in your career, so there won’t be a better time to plan a switch than right now. Do not think that UPS and the USPS are your only choices. Look up the best companies to work for (Forbes has a list) and why they are considered the best. Choose some of those which might interest you, compare them to what you have.

If UPS is a great company to work for compared to the Postal Service, you’ll have evidence to show your parents. If not, well, you’ll be working until you are 65 to 70 years old. If you aren’t willing to jump ship and come away with “nothing but” a year of work experience for the sake of your next 40+ years of work life, when will you ever change?

Most people have about 10 different jobs by the time they are 40 years old (US Bureau of Labor Statistics). If you want to find a job and stay put, that is great, but do your research and pick your lucky employer very carefully. With the recognition you have already, it is clear you ought to hold out for a very good employer who will reward you for your qualities.

Having said that, I know a guy who went to UPS after college as a “temporary job,” and he’s been there over 20 years. Do your homework, though. You don’t want inertia to carry you somewhere you did not choose to go.

 

[oldgraymare2]

Hi Jack,

The issue that you have to consider with the temporary jobs too, is that you won’t necessarily be hired on once your temporary contract is up with them. That’s a possibility.

With government jobs, it appears that they may hire on a temporary contract basis.

Something to think about.

You are an adult at your age.

You are not obligated to do what your parents are telling you to do, although you can take it into consideration, because they probably mean well and have your best interests at heart.

As you say, your Mom is looking at your job situation solely from the money/income point of view, but I think that you should look at your job through all facets, like the benefits, too.

I think that it’s important if your health insurance is going to be fully paid for–that that to me, would be an important cost and consideration.

I personally tend to agree with you regarding your own work situation. You have the ability to move up in your position. That is important, too. It’s not always just about the income. One has to weigh in the benefits, and the ability to move on up in the company, too.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I’m getting close to a supervisor position at my current job at UPS. I’m 24 and still living at home. However, my parents, especially my mom, have been egging me on about going to work for the post office instead, because they pay a little more. I just took the postal test this morning, but to be brutally honest, I have no desire or interest to leave UPS. I have several reasons for this:

1. I have worked very hard for this, and have been at my current job for almost a year. I understand that I have to look out for Number One career-wise, but going to another company seems like a complete waste of my last year (I am a 2-time employee of the month).
2. Because of their union contract, UPS pays for my health insurance in full. That just kicked in a couple weeks ago. The post office, like UPS, tries to avoid this by making much of its workforce temporary workers.
3. If I get interviewed and get a PO job, I’m back to Square One. Where I am, I have networked and made a name for myself. My bosses and co-workers like me, and chances are a promotion is only a matter of time.

I don’t even have an interview yet (I applied for one rural route and one city route in a small town). But my mom is demanding that, if I am offered the job, I quit UPS and take it, solely because of the pay.

I’m not just being stubborn or naive here. I genuinely think it is within my rational best interest to stay where I am. But my mom still insists, simply because of the slightly higher base pay. I tell her all of this, and she won’t acknowledge anything I say.

I’ve tried to put it in God’s hands, but I’m so confused. I am praying to not be selected from an interview, ironically. I have no desire or interest to go work for the PO; I only studied for the test and applied so my folks would quit badgering me about it. Since I live with them, am I obligated to be marched into a life-defining career change against my will?

Addendum: my dad is slightly more supportive of me staying. But he maintains that “I have to think full-time”, which I understand.

I’m biased that I really really don’t like the post office.
But your parents come from a generation that believed a government job is the safest most secure job with the best benifits. This is not the case in the modern workforce. I’d go with the private company almost always. But that’s me.

 

[Xantippe]

I’m biased that I really really don’t like the post office.
But your parents come from a generation that believed a government job is the safest most secure job with the best benifits. This is not the case in the modern workforce. I’d go with the private company almost always. But that’s me.

Right.

 

[Catholic1954]

At age 24 you have the right to choose your own job without any demands from your parents. If you get the promotion, it is long past time that you move out and start your life.

 

[JimG]

Just from what I’ve heard anecdotally, my personal preference would be for the UPS over the Postal Service. But you should look into the benefits of each, and also try to find out something about the working conditions of each.

 

[1ke]

I have no desire or interest to leave UPS.

thanks for the suggestion mom, I’m not interested in changing employers.

End of story.

I have several reasons for this

You don’t need to have any reasons for this, and you certainly do not owe anyone including your parents an explanation for your career choice.\

Since I live with them, am I obligated to be marched into a life-defining career change against my will?

No.

 

[WT1]

You are 24 so fully capable of making your own decisions. Take the first step to true independence and move out.

 

[StGerardMajella]

I’m getting close to a supervisor position at my current job at UPS. I’m 24 and still living at home. However, my parents, especially my mom, have been egging me on about going to work for the post office instead, because they pay a little more. I just took the postal test this morning, but to be brutally honest, I have no desire or interest to leave UPS.

First, at age 24, you need to move out of your parent’s house, even if that means renting a very small economy apartment in a middle class part of town. If money is an issue, start delivering pizzas on the side. Get out of the house.

Secondly, stay where you are put at UPS. You have much better upside long-term working for UPS than you would ever have working a dead-end job at the US Postal Service. If you are almost a supervisor, then stick with UPS. It is always better in this day and age to work for a private company, unless you are perhaps working for the Federal Government in Washington, DC.

Stick with private companies - You can thank me later. The Postal Service is a dead-end job, and you will not have the long-term career prospects like you would have at UPS, or any other private sector (non-government) job.

Don’t base decisions on what others say. Make rational, fact-based decisions. You are old enough now to make your own decisions as an adult.

Be respectful of your parents, but you need to move out on your own and become independent. Assuming you are healthy, and don’t have any mental health issues, you should be able to easily work more than 40 hours per week like any other normal adult and support yourself. If education is an issue, take night classes. Work overtime.

You are young, so take advantage of your energetic youth and work as hard as you can to get ahead.

 

[LethalMouse]

As far as I know UPS is a good deal. And the only issue from a practical standpoint is perhaps pensions…

Otherwise I have never seen a starving UPS full timer, and if you like what you do and where you are idk why you’d move

 

[EasterJoy]

thanks for the suggestion mom, I’m not interested in changing employers.

End of story.

You don’t need to have any reasons for this, and you certainly do not owe anyone including your parents an explanation for your career choice.\

No.

If you are 24 years old and you don’t like hearing your mother and father tell you what you need to do to improve your career prospects, you might try getting your own place. Living at home is a way of saying you either cannot make your own way or you choose not to.

Of course the OP does not need to make any career choices based on parental pressure; the OP gets to live with these choices, and has 100% authority to make them. While still living at home, however, the OP can expect to hear opinions on the matter. In my experience, adult children get treated more like adults when they aren’t drawing free or reduced room and board from Mom and Dad. If you rely on Mom and Dad, don’t be surprised when you are treated as if you need to rely on Mom and Dad. As long as your opinions coincide mostly with theirs, hearing their opinions on a regular basis can work out very well. Otherwise, expect to hear opinions you don’t like. These are discussions they’ll have at home. You get to choose whether to be living in the same house to hear them or not.

On the other hand, it may be financially sensible to let these comments slide off your back, to say, “Thanks for worrying, Mom; I have it covered” and going on ahead living at home and making one’s own adult career choices, guilt free. That is OK, too.

 

[MaryT777]

thanks for the suggestion mom, I’m not interested in changing employers.

End of story.

You don’t need to have any reasons for this, and you certainly do not owe anyone including your parents an explanation for your career choice.\

No.

Your parents don’t have to go to work every day and do your job.

 

[Mi3hael]

Of course you need to take on board your parents opinion, but treat it as just that - something to think about. Something for YOU to think about, but it’s your decision to make.

Remember that when your parents were at this point of their lives, picking a career route - the world was a very different place.

If you feel you have spent a year working hard to get to a supervisor role, and it’s getting close - then I can’t think of a good reason to start back at square one with another company and have to do all that again. Even if you plan to change companys once you have the supervisor job, then you can look for a supervisor jobs elsewhere if you wish to change.

 

[Strydersroom]

It’s not up to your parents, so follow your heart always. My friend moved to the mountains and has been a “ski bum” for 20 years and he’s the happiest person I know. Bartender at night, ski all day.

 

[AdamP88]

Your career, your decision. It’s as simple as that. Your parents have no say in this. They can advise but nothing more.

 

[ShrodingersCat]

Since I live with them, am I obligated to be marched into a life-defining career change against my will?

No definitely not. Respect their opinion, take it into consideration, but ultimately if you like UPS and don’t want to move, then stay!

 

[jaimeleglise]

Tell them how very happy you are and that you will soon be getting a raise and promotion.

 

[jmcrae]

Tell them how very happy you are and that you will soon be getting a raise and promotion.

I agree with this. You’re in a good situation - stick with it.

I also agree that it’s time to declare yourself an adult and get a place of your own.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

I’m getting close to a supervisor position at my current job at UPS. I’m 24 and still living at home. However, my parents, especially my mom, have been egging me on about going to work for the post office instead, because they pay a little more. I just took the postal test this morning, but to be brutally honest, I have no desire or interest to leave UPS. I have several reasons for this:

1. I have worked very hard for this, and have been at my current job for almost a year. I understand that I have to look out for Number One career-wise, but going to another company seems like a complete waste of my last year (I am a 2-time employee of the month).
2. Because of their union contract, UPS pays for my health insurance in full. That just kicked in a couple weeks ago. The post office, like UPS, tries to avoid this by making much of its workforce temporary workers.
3. If I get interviewed and get a PO job, I’m back to Square One. Where I am, I have networked and made a name for myself. My bosses and co-workers like me, and chances are a promotion is only a matter of time.

I don’t even have an interview yet (I applied for one rural route and one city route in a small town). But my mom is demanding that, if I am offered the job, I quit UPS and take it, solely because of the pay.

I’m not just being stubborn or naive here. I genuinely think it is within my rational best interest to stay where I am. But my mom still insists, simply because of the slightly higher base pay. I tell her all of this, and she won’t acknowledge anything I say.

I’ve tried to put it in God’s hands, but I’m so confused. I am praying to not be selected from an interview, ironically. I have no desire or interest to go work for the PO; I only studied for the test and applied so my folks would quit badgering me about it. Since I live with them, am I obligated to be marched into a life-defining career change against my will?

Addendum: my dad is slightly more supportive of me staying. But he maintains that “I have to think full-time”, which I understand.

Yeah, and if I would have listened to my mother about my biggest career move a few years ago I would probably still be making $11 a hour at a plant, paying a arm and a leg for health insurance and not saving a penny every month. To her, I was helping out with Grandma financially with my job and I guess she was worried that since construction can be a feast or famine industry, that I might be out of work at times and not be able to help out. Well, I have probably spent a total of about 4 months out of work in the last 3 years but made enough money to never be hurting financially at all. Parents sometimes mean well but if we let them get to us they can also mess us up. Now my mother jokes “Can you lend me some money?” all the time lol. I know she is glad I got into the field that I did.

Its your life. You give very practical reasons to stay where you are. Just explain to your mother than higher pay is good but it is still a risk you are not willing to take. That is all. You are 24 and have worked up to a supervisor position. You are most likely mature enough to be able to state your choice and have your parents respect that. If they will not, well then you need to just try to be better at letting things go in one ear and out the other