Parents recieving communion: What to Do?

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cmiller1144

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Hey there,

I was wondering, my parents don’t go to church and haven’t been for along time. But to my surprise they came with me to Christmas vigil. I asked them politely at the time for communion, to cross their arms for a blessing. Is this bad of me? I didn’t want them to eat condemnation on themselves but I still felt like I was judging my parents. Now my mother is so poorly catechized that I had to teach her that Jesus was divine just a few weeks ago (even though shes been through RCIA). I’ve always been asking them to go to confession, and to re embrace the faith whole heartedly.

Should I have let them gone up? Or do what I did? 🤷

Your thoughts are appreciated.
 
You did the right thing.

Now, I suggest you try to help your parents learn more about the faith. The best thing that you can do to help them grow in faith, is to grow in yours, and let it show through your actions. Of course you must at all times be respectful, and you cannot force them to do anything. However, if they are open to learning more, then teach them. Whatever you do though, be sure to do it out of (and with) love. Being the most loving and holy person you can be is a key to teaching others.
 
cmiller1144 said:
Hey there,

I was wondering, my parents don’t go to church and haven’t been for along time. But to my surprise they came with me to Christmas vigil. I asked them politely at the time for communion, to cross their arms for a blessing. Is this bad of me? I didn’t want them to eat condemnation on themselves but I still felt like I was judging my parents. Now my mother is so poorly catechized that I had to teach her that Jesus was divine just a few weeks ago (even though shes been through RCIA). I’ve always been asking them to go to confession, and to re embrace the faith whole heartedly.

Should I have let them gone up? Or do what I did? 🤷

Your thoughts are appreciated.
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Are they catholic?
If they are why are you telling them not receive?
 
^
I suppose I should not have assumed this, but I was under the impression that the original poster was implying he didn’t want them to receive since they had not been going to mass every Sunday and were therefore in a state of mortal sin. Specific clarification would be good though.
 
Kevin42 said:
^
I suppose I should not have assumed this, but I was under the impression that the original poster was implying he didn’t want them to receive since they had not been going to mass every Sunday and were therefore in a state of mortal sin. Specific clarification would be good though.
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Perhaps they had been to confession?
They dont have to tell her either that they have gone.
 
Kevin42 said:
^
I suppose I should not have assumed this, but I was under the impression that the original poster was implying he didn’t want them to receive since they had not been going to mass every Sunday and were therefore in a state of mortal sin. Specific clarification would be good though.
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If they don’t know they have to be at mass every sunday then it’s not a mortal sin, and if they do know they should be at mass but don’t know it’s a mortal sin, then it’s not a mortal sin. If they are so poorly catechized i think just a good confession would bring it all back.
 
Hi
Pray for them and offer up sacrifices for them. You should do your best to teach them the basics a catholic needs to know too. If you don’t offer prayers and sacrifices for them your efforts will most likely be in vain. The most important thing everyone needs to know is the 10 commandments. If you teach them this then you will have taught them the most valuable thing in the world and I believe the bible promises you will have your name written in the book of life for doing so.
Teach then the laws of the church. And they will need to know Christs teachings. Don’t get them to read the whole bible. Just the 4 gospels. You need to do this gradually. You need to remember that you can do nothing. You are simply an instrument in God’s hands. It is God who does all the work. Simply make yourself available to be Gods instrument in this apostolate. I wish you all the best and will pray for you all.
 
you don’t know the state of their soul, you are not their priest, they are adults in charge of their own consciences. you influence them not by admonitions, criticisms and assumptions, but by living your own Catholic life faithfully.
 
In the Catholic Church’s approach to morality there is what we call objective and subjective sinfulness. I’m simplifyiing it to make it short enough to post.

Objectively means that it may look like a person is in a state of mortal sin, because they have not gone to mass for an extended period of time, in this case.

Subjectively, it means that responsibility or culpability may range from serious to non existent in the individual’s case.

To have a mortal sin you must meet three conditions:

  1. The action must be truly sinful, not just appear so.
    1. The individual must have clear knowledge that something is a serious sing.
      1. The individual must have complete freedom to choose another path.

        A person my not have clear knowledge, because they are not in possession of all the facts. They may not understand the facts. They may have an honest difficulty agreeing with the rule or facts. They’re not acting out of convenience, but acting honestly. A person my not have complete freedom to make another choice. Emotional issues, circumstances, lack of maturity, addictions, habits are often things that get in the way of doing the things that we really want to do. We have to chip away at them slowly.

        Finaly, we should never judge the state of another person’s soul.

        If we observe the Church. The Church only denies communion to a person who publically stands in opposition to the moral teachings of the Church and it does not judge that person’s soul. The reason for denying that person communion is to avoid scandal. For example, Mario Cuomo and John Kerry were denied communion, because of political stances that were in conflict with Catholic morality.

        Jackie O. ws denied communion because she married Aristotle O. who was validly married in the Greek Orthodox Church.

        In all of these cases, the public would have noticed and it would have given reason for scandal.

        If my sister hasn’t gone to mass in six months, whose to know. I certianly don’t know the state of her sould. I may diplomatically mention that there are confessions at a certain time, in case she wants to go.

        Now that I think about it, this would not apply. My family is Jewish. LOL

        Orthodoxy is a good thing, but remember, we are not God and should not attempt to play God. I’m not saying that the original poster acted wrongly. I’m just warning people not to be over zealous. If the original poster spoke to the parents before mas and did not embarass them. That’s OK. If they had chosen to receive communion, that’s their choice. Who knows how culpable they are, except God and their confessor.

        God bless!
 
Catholics are obliged to practise the spiritual works of mercy. They are listed below. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade with people. Otherwise no one would ever do them.
But we must not condemn anyone. We sometimes simply need to make a judgment as to whether someone needs correction or help. No condemnation though. Mosr catholics seem fully focused on the corporal works of mercy but these are the most important ones.
’
The Spiritual Works of Mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor in spiritual necessities (CCC #2447), those being focused on getting a soul to Heaven. The seven Spiritual Works of Mercy are:

  1. *]Admonish the sinner
    *]Instruct the ignorant
    *]Counsel the doubtful
    *]Comfort the sorrowful
    *]Bear wrongs patiently
    *]Forgive all injuries
    *]Pray for the living and the dead
 
John_Russell_Jr said:
Catholics are obliged to practise the spiritual works of mercy. They are listed below. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade with people. Otherwise no one would ever do them.
But we must not condemn anyone. We sometimes simply need to make a judgment as to whether someone needs correction or help. No condemnation though. Mosr catholics seem fully focused on the corporal works of mercy but these are the most important ones.
’
The Spiritual Works of Mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor in spiritual necessities (CCC #2447), those being focused on getting a soul to Heaven. The seven Spiritual Works of Mercy are:

  1. *]Admonish the sinner
    *]Instruct the ignorant
    *]Counsel the doubtful
    *]Comfort the sorrowful
    *]Bear wrongs patiently
    *]Forgive all injuries
    *]Pray for the living and the dead
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  1. I have no disagreement with this. My theological education was very clear on these.

    My position was simply put, that in theology there is a subjective and objective side to every moral issue. This has been held by the Church centuries. It is not a new idea.

    What may look as someone being in a state of serious sin, may not be the case. We should always offer gentle guidance, but always remember that only the conscience and the confessor know for sure. Obviously God does too, but I didn’t think that needed to be mentioned, since it’s obvious.

    I also mentioned that the Church has usually denied people communion only when there is a danger of scandal.

    I am not in conflict with the spiritual works of mercy. 🙂
 
JReducation said:
I have no disagreement with this. My theological education was very clear on these.

My position was simply put, that in theology there is a subjective and objective side to every moral issue. This has been held by the Church centuries. It is not a new idea.

What may look as someone being in a state of serious sin, may not be the case. We should always offer gentle guidance, but always remember that only the conscience and the confessor know for sure. Obviously God does too, but I didn’t think that needed to be mentioned, since it’s obvious.

I also mentioned that the Church has usually denied people communion only when there is a danger of scandal.

I am not in conflict with the spiritual works of mercy. 🙂
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I agree with you. Unless the priest has knowledge of a valid reason for denying communion he can’t. Actually there’s been many times in the past I was unsure if I sinned or not. I was lucky to have much help in the spiritual life. Thank God.Much charity is needed if we correct people. 🙂 👍
 
Thank you all for your posts, I will push on and further try to teach and love my family into the church, even if they don’t like it :D. But seriously I hope, pray and will do penance for their salvation and coming back into the church. Thanks once and God bless.

I know they need confession, cause I know we all do. So until they receive confession should I encourage them not to receive the Eucharist until then? I would think so, due the fact that Christ would want them coming unblemished before the altar, not with 20 years of sin on their soul. If not please correct me.

Christ our King, Thy Kingdom Come!
 
cmiller1144 said:
Thank you all for your posts, I will push on and further try to teach and love my family into the church, even if they don’t like it :D. But seriously I hope, pray and will do penance for their salvation and coming back into the church. Thanks once and God bless.

I know they need confession, cause I know we all do. So until they receive confession should I encourage them not to receive the Eucharist until then? I would think so, due the fact that Christ would want them coming unblemished before the altar, not with 20 years of sin on their soul. If not please correct me.

Christ our King, Thy Kingdom Come!
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Catholics ought to practice the Sacrament of Confession. However, only God knows a person’s heart. There is no way for you to know if there are mortal sins on your parents’ souls. You may bring up the topic of reconciliation, you may pray for them, but keep in mind there is always a **boundary **issue.

When we deal with others, always keep respect and boundary in mind.
 
cmiller1144 said:
Thank you all for your posts, I will push on and further try to teach and love my family into the church, even if they don’t like it :D. But seriously I hope, pray and will do penance for their salvation and coming back into the church. Thanks once and God bless.

I know they need confession, cause I know we all do. So until they receive confession should I encourage them not to receive the Eucharist until then? I would think so, due the fact that Christ would want them coming unblemished before the altar, not with 20 years of sin on their soul. If not please correct me.

Christ our King, Thy Kingdom Come!
Click to expand...
Once again they dont have to tell you that they have been to confession and it is rude of you to ask, but then that is just my 2cents.
 
cmiller1144 said:
Thank you all for your posts, I will push on and further try to teach and love my family into the church, even if they don’t like it :D. But seriously I hope, pray and will do penance for their salvation and coming back into the church. Thanks once and God bless.

I know they need confession, cause I know we all do. So until they receive confession should I encourage them not to receive the Eucharist until then? I would think so, due the fact that Christ would want them coming unblemished before the altar, not with 20 years of sin on their soul. If not please correct me.

Christ our King, Thy Kingdom Come!
Click to expand...
If they don’t know the faith very well then perhaps print up a good examination of conscience for catholics and print it off the web and give it to them. It’s very hard to do but it’s the greatest act of mercy you can do for them. After they read it ask them if they would like to go to confession with you. You are not confronting them so directly this way. If you know from them that they need confession then you should inform them with the greatest charity that they need confession before communion.
The last Pope made it his catch cry to say- be not afraid. He was saying it to us all. Tell them what they need to know with great charity. Maybe they just need to know and will thank you greatly. Maybe they will thank you one day when they realise the great help you gave them.
The current Pope recently put out a document which told all catholics to get back to the practise of confession. This is the same that all popes have said from the beginning- confession before communion if needed. Pope Benedict xv1 also asked catholics to stop going to communion enmasse with the confessionals being empty. The Pope knows it’s a great problem- this lack of confessions.
In the NT one of the apostles talks about some people actually dying from making bad communions ( receiving communion unworthily ). Spiritual diseases are very real and they can kill people. Not many people die from sacrilege now but it happened in the early church. We know that spiritual ailments can kill. How many people have died of loneliness? That’s a spiritual problem too.
If you help them be reconciled with God you have done the very best thing you can do for them. You’ve given them life. And maybe eternal life.
Go out on a limb. Be not afraid. What will you say to God if you do nothing and they lose their souls?
 
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