Well, I don’t know. I think there are some here who have the attitude that their children are welcome to live in their house up to the point when they are so toxic they have to be cut out of their lives altogether. Some people honestly don’t have a middle ground between those two states of a relationship.
+1 I’ve seen it too. Being too strict with the rules will ensure compliance while they need your help, but are you really teaching your kids how to succeed in their free-will or how to make good choices if you’re making them for them?
So, you’re saying if active religious orders don’t let their members stay in the order if they sleep around, they’re not being tolerant of sinners? It isn’t possible that they’re simply saying, “Having talked about your thoughts about having sleep-overs with your boyfriend–and yes, we understand you are “taking precautions” so you won’t become pregnant–we’ve come to the conclusion that our community isn’t the right community for you.” There is no way in the world that Bishop Fulton Sheen would condemn religious sisters as being intolerant of a fellow sinner for asking someone to leave their community because she doesn’t believe in practicing chastity. (NOTE: The OP is not talking about a daughter who has difficulty remaining chaste, even though she tries! The topic is a family member who has deemed chastity before marriage to be unnecessary and deliberately chooses not to live in a chaste manner. The topic is not an adult child still living in the parental home who has fallen into unchastity out of weakness, but rather one who rejects the rule of life in the parental home outright.)
It has devolved into a discussion about whether it is intolerant to make the pursuit of chastity the rule of life in your own home and, to some extent, whether or not chastity is even a realistic expectation for those who hope to obtain a postgraduate education.
This is a wisdom thing. How do you teach your kids the moral way so they can of their own free-will make good decisions that don’t require overly strict rules? This is very difficult.
You won’t either way.
They’re mostly talking about how that will affect the relationship between the child and the parents which is a different matter altogether.
Agreed. The OP’s friend is clearly making and defending her own decisions with her parents. For better or worse, that much is a moot point.
I would actually differentiate between the issue of living in our home even with serious differences concerning the rule of life in our house and that of agreeing to give money to what you think is a worthwhile project even though the adult child working on the project has some serious differences with you on other fronts.
Well, when you write, “The Godly, not showing fleshly anger, would be to let her finish her degree,” I think you’re saying the convent would also feel bound to let her stay on as a member of their community, too. I mean, I would count religious sisters among The Godly.
Well, then go to school in a place you can afford.
Depending on what major someone wants, they might not be able to find a university that offers that major in a cheap city of their choice.Thorolfr:
Well, then go to school in a place you can afford.
The parents have no obligation to provide access to such a location through support.
What major is that?
I never said anything about “obligation.” Perhaps the parents love their child and want to help them to enter a profession that would be fulfilling for them. I never thought of my parents having an “obligation” to help me get through college or go to the college of my choice. I just always knew that they loved me and would help me as much as they could to have a happy and fulfilling life. They always offered their help without me ever asking. And I was always greatful for their help and did the best that I could to pay as much of my expenses as I could when I was in school and to excel in my studies.
Egyptology? I’m not sure that is the major to choose when money is anything like an issue.