Parents trying to convert me

[sword]

My parents have been trying to go back into church and I think it partly involves my father having a stroke back in October, but I recall him going a few times but not as frequently as now. This church is a Baptist Church which is fine, but I was raised Catholic, I’m confirmed and everything and the reason this is because my grandmother raised me for a while when my mother had to work out of town. My aunt and my mother were raised Catholic too BUT my mother remarried to my stepfather (I knew him since I was 9, so I consider him my father) and he was raised Protestant.

Long story short it is getting annoying to me that they want me to go to Church w/ them but they won’t step foot in a Catholic Church. Oh my mom will go with me she says, but on a Saturday or another time that won’t cut in to the time they go to church. I can understand my stepdad disagrees with some of the stuff in the Catholic Church (baptism at birth, the symbolism in Catholicism, etc) and he wants to raise my sister in a Protestant church and thats fine but I don’t like him being close minded in that sense. I also like the church that they go to and the preacher a lot, he is different than some Baptist preachers I’ve encountered. Idealistically I’d like to go to once and want to make an effort to do that.

My mother wants me to go to bible study and church w/ them and keeps asking me ‘Do you think you want to go with us again?’ part of me wants to be super agreeable but another part is pissed off and wants to tell her that I was raised Catholic and I don’t want to change that b/c if she won’t carry it on I will out of respect of my Grandmother and the fact that I like the traditions, etc in the church. Now I am at fault too because I haven’t found a Catholic church in the area I live in now, which has been about a yr I’ve lived here, so I guess they want to find one that they can all go as a family.

Oh and to whoever says I should move out I’m working on it. I’ve been saving up and will move out within 6months to a year but I kinda wanted to be closer to them since my dad had a stroke. Advice?

 

[jmcrae]

I am also the only Catholic in my family. I’m the Mom, not one of the kids, but there are similarities in our situations.

First, I think it’s great that you want to stay Catholic - being Catholic is the greatest gift in the whole world; no other church even comes close.

What I do is, I get myself to Mass on Sundays. Every Sunday, no exceptions. I also get myself to Confession whenever I need to go. Even if I have to walk, because someone else is using the car, I still get myself there - I don’t ask for a ride, or anything like that, because this is my thing, and it’s up to me to do it.

Sometimes, there is family stuff going on at the Protestant church where the rest of my family goes to Church. So, on those days, I organize my schedule so that I can get to Mass at a different time, and I also go with them to their Church to participate in the family stuff. I don’t receive Holy Communion when I am there, though, because that would send a very confusing signal to the people who go there - they would wonder whether I was going to become Protestant like them, or if the Catholic Church has suddenly decided that our Holy Communion is the same as theirs, or what - so I don’t receive their Holy Communion. Their church also has its own Creed, and if they are reciting that Creed, I don’t say it with them, because it contains elements that I don’t actually believe in, because of being Catholic. Other than that, I just sit back, listen, and enjoy the preaching and the music.

I don’t go to their church very often, though. Most of the time, they just do their thing, and I do my thing, and that’s that. I don’t get into discussions with them about it, I don’t try to talk them into coming to my church, and I don’t say anything about the stuff that I disagree with at their church, because I don’t think that’s really my role in the family - my role is to provide a clean and loving home where everyone can feel safe and happy. So, I just try to live the best possible Catholic life that I can, and pray for them - and if they ask questions, of course I do my best to answer them.

 

[frfreddie]

Hi, Sword. Could it be that they want you to go the the Baptist church but really just want you to go to some church? I’m a converting Catholic with three grown daughters who don’t go to any church. I really want them to be Catholic, but I would be happy if they just went to church somewhere.

Just an idea. I hope things work out for you. God bless you.

 

[dulcissima]

What do you mean you haven’t found a church near you? How far is the closest Catholic church? Why would you go a year without going to Mass?

 

[srkbdk]

I may not have this right but it seems that you say you were raised Catholic, but your mother and father are not now Catholic.

Did they leave the Church? If so do you know why? Also are they readers?

You will be in our prayers

 

[sword]

What do you mean you haven’t found a church near you? How far is the closest Catholic church? Why would you go a year without going to Mass?

Just to clarify, I did find a church near me but not one that I feel as close to the community as previous ones I’ve been to before I lived here so I am still looking around. I haven’t been a year w/o Mass.

 

[sword]

I may not have this right but it seems that you say you were raised Catholic, but your mother and father are not now Catholic.

Did they leave the Church? If so do you know why? Also are they readers?

You will be in our prayers

My Grandmother is Catholic and raised my uncle, aunt, and mother Catholic.

-My uncle isn’t a practicing Catholic, goes to a Protestant Church sometimes w/ his family.

-My aunt is a practicing Catholic but is single and doesn’t plan on having any children.

-My mom remarried my stepfather (who was raised Southern Baptist) and they had my sister. My stepfather disagrees w/ some of the Catholic traditions, my mother conforms, I don’t.

So part of this dilemma is is carrying on tradition. My aunt can but she will not bear any children, my uncle and mother won’t so it is up to me. I am partial as well particuarly because I am very close to my grandmother considering the relationship I had when growing up.

 

[ltbpoe43]

Welcome to CAF and great question.

I doesn’t sound like they are trying to convert you so much as they are trying to spend more time with you at a place they enjoy going to. They are just asking you to go. If they start forcing you to go - that’s a whole other problem.

You seem strong in your faith, thanks to grandmother and aunts, and might want to consider going with them occasionally just because it makes them feel better and that’s a good thing.

Since you are planning on moving out in the near future, they want to spend time with you now. After you move, I gather the requests will be fewer and the opportunities will be less also.

Stand firm and steadfast in your faith and be glad they are asking. Good luck.

 

[jmcrae]

Just to clarify, I did find a church near me but not one that I feel as close to the community as previous ones I’ve been to before I lived here so I am still looking around. I haven’t been a year w/o Mass.

The obligation to go to Mass does not stipulate that we have to like the people.

Keep going to the one closest to you until you find one that you like better - don’t ever skip Mass just because of the people.

 

[LSK]

Just to clarify, I did find a church near me but not one that I feel as close to the community as previous ones I’ve been to before I lived here so I am still looking around. I haven’t been a year w/o Mass.

Honey, I hope I do not sound harsh but we Catholics do not go to Church to feel comfortable…we go to give honor and glory to Our Lord and to receive the Sacraments.\

Start being a real strong example to your parents…start going to Mass.

 

[yessisan]

Hi sword_, I’m Catholic and my husband is a Jehovah’s Witness. He goes to his “church” and I go to the Catholic Church. At first he insisted I attend with him, but he learned that I am not willing to give up on my faith. We recently moved and I don’t really like the 2 parishes in the town I live in, I loved my old parish, but I still go to Mass and love going because I love hearing about God. I feel a little awkward in the new parish, but a Mass is a Mass.

Don’t let your parents push you into attending with them if you don’t want to go. But as another poster said, they might just want to be spending more time with you. Just be nice to them and explain to them how you feel. That’s what I did with my husband, and his response was very positive.

Don’t give up on the parish you found. Do you attend regularly? Have you tried joining a ministry? That can make you feel more at home.

 

[sword]

Thanks again guys.

From what I gathered from my mother when talking to her, her and my father really want me to just be more cohesive as a family and church is one of the many ways. My mom offered to go with me on Saturdays if I wanted and my father said I don’t always have to go with them but he would like if I go. I think we came to a good compromise and I love them both

There are some Catholic Churches I have in mind I want to go to in the area before I choose one and intend on going to them throughout the summer.

 

[vocatio]

Sword,
I grew up part of my youth in the country. The closest Catholic Church was at least 20 to 25 miles from our home. My stepmother’s, whom my Catholic dad dumped me on to live close to his girlfriend (discovered this while in the seminary later), family was Southern Baptist. I went to either a Vigil Mass or Later Sunday Mass. I went often to the Baptist Bible Class and worship, but not all the time. It was interesting, but they treated me pretty much with respect. Be on your guard against incorrect doctrine and interpretation by reading you Catechism frequently. Set up a prayer corner in your room, but personally, I think being with your family may not be such a bad idea. Just make sure you know what the Catholic Church teaches and don’t fall into the 90percentile range of what our RCIA Adult Faith Formation teacher (so good our Bishoped snatched him from our parish to work for him to direct faith formation for the entire Diocese) and Franciscan Friar calls cafateria or poorly catechized Catholics. Keep you guard up and your faith strong. Just avoid anti-Catholic or Protestant bashing.

I will add you to my Rosary tonight. Oh, finish that prayer corner with candles, Rosary, sacramentals like statues of the Blessed Mother and St. Michael. Put up a Divine Mercy picture for a dollar and voila, a nice prayer corner. Read your scriptures and learn them.

Lot’s of prayers going your way.

PAX tecum