Parish Dos and Don'ts from Millennials

[Gorgias]

I did that once at my college Newman’s center. I just hate inconveniencing priests who always have something going on.

So… that’s the first part of the equation: for folks who complain that there aren’t sufficient / reasonable confession times (and I’m not saying you’re one of them!), there’s always room for the charitable thought that “Father has something else that’s occupying that time slot” rather than “Father needs to get off his butt and be of service to me!”

That is, if I can even get a hold of one in the first place.

And, that’s the second part of the equation: these days, many dioceses are so short-staffed in clergy that it really is difficult to find “extra time” in their schedules.

However, think of it this way: if you needed to sit down and talk with your priest – for pastoral counseling, or to discuss some matter in the parish, or whatever – would you expect that he’d take the time to make that appointment with you? And, if he’d do so for a discussion, then why not for a confession? Same amount of time (in fact, probably less!), same ‘inconvenience’ (almost none, right?).

One last thought: if it’s the anxiety of him knowing who you are, then perhaps you’re being called to discern whether you can, in fact, attempt to trust the seal of the confessional and your priest’s confidence. (And, if it’s because you work closely with him, then go to another parish, where they don’t know you!)

 

[Gorgias]

I attended a noon-time daily Mass at the cathedral in downtown Spokane, and it was well-attended by both the elderly and younger adults on lunch break.

OK: so, stop and think for just a minute about the context you’ve provided:

• downtown
• big city
• plenty of workers on lunch break
• diocesan cathedral

That doesn’t really apply to 99% of the parishes out there, does it? And if not, then it’s not really representative. (It’s a good example of a parish understanding its location and its opportunities for ministry, of course. But, to say “parishes in general should offer noon Mass” just because it works in a cathedral in a central business district… that’s kinda an invalid extrapolation, wouldn’t you say?)

 

[redbetta]

Sir, don’t you winkyface me. It’s not unreasonable to ask for at least one parish in an area with a ton of Catholic parishes to hold confession for one hour at a different day.

 

[Gorgias]

Sir, don’t you winkyface me.

It’s not unreasonable to ask for at least one parish in an area with a ton of Catholic parishes to hold confession for one hour at a different day.

No, it’s not. Like I recommended to another poster, upthread: get a group of like-minded Catholics together and send a group letter to the dean, or vicar, or bishop. Express your desire for additional confession times. Or… take advantage of the currently-offered opportunities for confession by appointment.

 

[tafan2]

In any given groupings of parishes in a metropolitan area, there should be one parish offering a noon mass. Most definitely. Its not an invalid extrapolation at all. As to the masses in this area that are offered outside of 8-5 working hours, I suspect that at any given one of them, 2/3rds of the attendees are not of that actual parish. Working people search out were it is convienient to go to mass and that’s were they go.

 

[Gorgias]

In any given groupings of parishes in a metropolitan area, there should be one parish offering a noon mass. Most definitely. Its not an invalid extrapolation at all.

But, pay attention to what folks are saying in this thread. One poster complained that the only noon Mass is 20 minutes away. In “a metropolitan area”, if there’s “one parish offering a noon Mass”, it’ll necessarily be 20 minutes or more away from many in that metropolitan area! So… what are we really asking for?

As to the masses in this area that are offered outside of 8-5 working hours, I suspect that at any given one of them, 2/3rds of the attendees are not of that actual parish. Working people search out were it is convienient to go to mass and that’s were they go.

Right, but that’s a different dynamic. Lunch time means “I need to get to the Mass, spend the 20-30 minutes at Mass, get back from Mass, and grab something that I can eat, all within 45-60 minutes.” Totally different dynamic. A noon Mass must be local. And therefore, what’s being asked for is at least one noon Mass within every 10 minute radius. That’s not really feasible, for many (most?) parishes.

Outside of working hours presents a different dynamic. So, here’s my question: whether you’re asking your priest (who, often, is the only priest for the parish) to work a 14-hour day that starts at 6:30am or ends at 8pm, is that a terribly valid request? (Yes, we all have families. Yes, we all ‘work’ outside the work-day. But, if your boss came to you and said, “look, I know that you’re working 5-6 days, 12+ hours a day; but, why can’t you put in an additional 2 hours, a couple days a week?”… what would you think about the request?)

 

[tafan2]

But, pay attention to what folks are saying in this thread. One poster complained that the only noon Mass is 20 minutes away. In “a metropolitan area”, if there’s “one parish offering a noon Mass”, it’ll necessarily be 20 minutes or more away from many in that metropolitan area! So… what are we really asking for?

20 minutes is, for a noonish mass is probably the greatest distance one should have to travel, in a city. Certainly no further. You could have a mass at 12:20, have it last 20 minutes, and then still get back to work at 1:00. Really tight. Certainly 10 minutes would be better, start it at 12:10, lasts for 20 minutes, give people a chance to get back to work and grab a quick bite to eat.

Parishes areound here are typically about 15 minutes apart at noon traffic. So a 10 minute distance for most people should be doable. I live in a suburb of DFW, BTW.

 

[tafan2]

Right, but that’s a different dynamic. Lunch time means “I need to get to the Mass, spend the 20-30 minutes at Mass , get back from Mass, and grab something that I can eat, all within 45-60 minutes.” Totally different dynamic. A noon Mass must be local. And therefore, what’s being asked for is at least one noon Mass within every 10 minute radius. That’s not really feasible, for many (most?) parishes.

Responded to your first paragraph without reading the last. Sorry about that. We agree on timing. Except this is feasible aroudnm here. We do not have many noon masses. But we do have 6:30 am and 6:00pm and 7:00 pm masses withint 10 minutes. I wish we had more noon masses.

 

[tafan2]

The other thing to note, around here is that every parish has at least 2 priests assigned to it. So one mass at the typical 8:00am-9:00am range for the old people, school kids, and single moms can be in every parish. Then every parish in a given deanery could either offer a 6:30/7:00 am mass, a 12:10 mass, and a 5:30/6 pm mass. It would work out almost perfectly. We are close, but not there. It will be tough to get there, because some of the masses also have to be in Spanish.

 

[Prodigal1984]

Millenials are looking for tradition I think. Or at least there’s a large group who do.
In fact there’s a few people in their 30s who have been asking the priest at my parish if he could find a priest to do the EF. My priest isn’t opposed to it but he told me it is somewhat strange these people who didn’t even grow up with it have such an attachment to it.

 

[tafan2]

Yea, I never have liked those Life Teen Masses that most parishes put on, and one gets the impression the few times I have attened that most of the teenagers are there because their parents make them (not a bad thing BTW). But I have wondered in the past of they would be replaced by a EF mass if more young people would actually show up, ha. Probably not, but we might just be surprised.

I don’t think its a coincidence that the EF parishes in some cities are close to the local Catholic University.

 

[Gorgias]

The other thing to note, around here is that every parish has at least 2 priests assigned to it.

You’re lucky, then.

But, IIRC, a friend of mine from grad school was from that area, and – very literally! – was named a pastor right when he was ordained!

So… I wasn’t under the assumption that ya’ll had a glut of priests!

 

[tafan2]

I would not say a glut by any means, but our situation with priests has improved a lot the last 20 years. When Cardinal Farrell was appointed as Bishop, we had around a dozen seminarians. Now we have around 60. Every parish, except one, around here that had 1 priest 25 years ago, now has two. Most parishes that had 2 priests then, have three now.

 

[blackforest]

OK: so, stop and think for just a minute about the context you’ve provided:

Did you read the first part of my post?

I suspect that quite a few attend if the parish is in an area with a lot of day-job workers.

I provided context. It won’t work everywhere. I get it.

This really shouldn’t be such a heated topic. Weird.

Millenials are looking for tradition I think.

I agree. “Traditional” doesn’t necessarily even mean TLM. But some traditional music and incense wouldn’t hurt.

I do love the part of the OP discouraging churches from trying to be “hip.” It’s just a way of talking down to younger adults or sending them to sit at the figurative Kid’s Table.

 

[phil19034]

To be fair, you seem to be talking about parishes that are not only really large but also staffed with many priests. That’s simply not characteristic of most parishes, wouldn’t you say?

My Cathedral only has 2 assigned priests, however two more are 2 in residence and help out a little. However, the daily confession times are usually heard by the vicar or pastor.

The local FSSP Parish currently only has 1 priest and he hears confession 8 times a week. Once a day Mon through Sat and twice on Sunday.

He always schedules confession 30 minutes before mass starts. Once a second priest is assigned next month, one priest will be able to continue hearing confessions after mass starts, until line is gone.

The point is, every parish can increase their scheduled confession times even if it’s only by 15-20 additional minutes a week

 

[Gorgias]

around here is that every parish has at least 2 priests assigned to it. So one mass at the typical 8:00am-9:00am range for the old people, school kids, and single moms can be in every parish. Then every parish in a given deanery could either offer a 6:30/7:00 am mass, a 12:10 mass, and a 5:30/6 pm mass.

Canon law says that priests are supposed to celebrate two Mass a day, maximum (except in cases of emergency). Unless I’m reading you wrong, you’re suggesting that a parish of 2 assigned priests should offer Masses at 6:30/7am, 12:10, and 5:30/6. Don’t your priests take days off? Do you never celebrate funeral Masses in your parishes?

(By the way of comparison: in my neck of the woods, we have 1 or 2 priests for every 2-5 parishes…)

The local FSSP Parish currently only has 1 priest and he hears confession 8 times a week.

Two thoughts:

• How big is that parish? That is, to how many souls does he minister?
• I’m betting that, at an FSSP parish, there are lots more folks who go to confession. (Oh, if only we had that problem in most parishes!) So, I’m guessing he schedules confessions because folks are actually coming to them. (That’s not really the case in most parishes in the U.S. – and yes, I get the argument that, if you don’t offer it, you won’t see the response; but, unless there’s an indication that additional times are needed, we’re not likely to see them offered.)

 

[tafan2]

Canon law says that priests are supposed to celebrate two Mass a day, maximum (except in cases of emergency). Unless I’m reading you wrong, you’re suggesting that a parish of 2 assigned priests should offer Masses at 6:30/7am, 12:10, and 5:30/6. Don’t your priests take days off? Do you never celebrate funeral Masses in your parishes?

You are reading me wrong. If each parish as a 8-9am mass, the each parish in a given area (deanery) can have one more and coordinate the times I list so that several options exit for working class within a short drive.

Don’t your priests take days off? Do you never celebrate funeral Masses in your parishes

Yes, priests take days off and have funeral masses. As for the former issue, I certainly know priests who celebrate mass on their day off, as that is what the Church encourages. One priest I know says the 7:10 am mass every week on his day off.

 

[tafan2]

Oh, if only we had that problem in most parishes!)

Read my thoughts about that, it’s pretty easy to replicate. Every parish around here started offering additional times based on the Field of Dreams concept. It works.

 

[Gorgias]

You are reading me wrong. If each parish as a 8-9am mass, the each parish in a given area (deanery) can have one more and coordinate the times I list

Ahh, ok! I get it, now!

Keep in mind, though, if a priest takes his day off, then you have two days a week in which the remaining priest has “used up” his two Masses on daily Mass, and shouldn’t be celebrating any others (e.g., funeral Mass).

As for the former issue, I certainly know priests who celebrate mass on their day off, as that is what the Church encourages.

Hmm… it does? Not to my knowledge. The Church says that it’s a good thing for priests to celebrate daily, but falls short of saying anything else…

 

[LisaB]

Good example. Limited confession time is not about a shortage of priests. It’s about misplaced priorities. The main job of a priest is to offer Mass and hear confessions, as well as administer other sacraments, of course, but it’s not like people get married or baptized every day. Everything else - the running of the parish, meeting with parishioners, holding religious education- is secondary to administering the sacraments. If something’s gotta give, it should NOT be confession. Even with only one priest, he can offer one Mass and hear confessions for 30 mins beforehand every day, and schedule the rest of his day around it. To claim that a priest has no time for confession means he is putting something else first. That would be like a teacher claiming she has too many papers to grade and no time to teach class. That would be backwards, wouldn’t it?