Parish fellowship

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Here is a non-controversial observation that I have wondered about. All feedback is welcome.
When I go to Mass with wife, I have noticed that that the post-worship fellowship is minimal. Let’s say there are 100 people at Mass, 90 of them leave right immeadiately afterwards, and about 10 or so make to the fellowship/snack area.

This contrasts to my own Jewish background and what I have experienced in mainline Protestant churches, where the percentages are reversed, about 90% stay for coffee, cookies, and conversation. I have even been to both synagogues and protestant churches where name tags are distributed, and chit-chatting is strongly encouraged.

Is the lack of post-Mass fellowship/socializing part of Catholic culture, per se, or it is just we are all (unfortunately…) rushing off to Target or Costco:)

All responses are welcome
 
Wow most of the time I have read on the forums is that there’s too much post-Mass fellowship and it’s too noisy.

And it has been my experience as well.

I think we do too much of it in my opinion, but that is why I attend religious houses for Mass now. It’s much quieter and conducive to reflection, prayer, and silence.

Count yourself as blessed, there’s many on the forum who would love to attend at your parish for the reasons given above. 😃

God bless.
 
I note that as well…but many times we come out of Mass in a sense of Adoration, and having coffee and donuts right after is pretty soon. I find it always stilted, so many times I end up going home, but reflecting on the Word of God…it takes me may be over an hour to ‘come down’…after Mass.

We find more fellowship with joining activities and fellowships. Our parish has an outstanding women’s fellowship that is a real community builder, and has led to many good works in the parish. Being involved in the parish school helps, especially when you have a faith sharing group to get to know the people better.

Daily Mass communicants—every where—no matter the country even — are on the same page and awareness…and I always found them to be ‘instant’ friends…we all understanding each other right away…wonderful fellowship of being together…of forming prayer groups afterwards, a real blessing.
 
Wow. Our parish has fellowship after Mass in a building next to the sanctuary. Coffee/Donuts served by KofC. I don’t think what you’re experiencing is normal.

One thing I did see that totally turned me off in my protestant days was a really nice evangelical church we attended had a “We proudly serve starbucks” sign in their narthex. I felt like I had just walked into “Stranger in a Strange Land” and was looking around for slot machines.
 
I think the South is going to become a real place of Catholic faith…my girlfriend moved to Kentucky, a Southerner herself having lived in the NW 30 years…and it sounds so different down there…

Outstanding Catholic faith is coming out of the South…Here it depends on the parish…some are extroverts and some are more introverted…but sooner or later…people get to know each other, and the community continues to build.
 
That hasn’t been my experience. We have tons of oportunity for fellowship, not just after Mass. We have a very vibrant parish with all ages. That’s one of the many things I like about it. The only thing is that the priest frequently has to remind everyone to take the fellowship to the fellowship hall because some people forget to leave the sanctuary reverently.
 
Chris_Etzel said:
One thing I did see that totally turned me off in my protestant days was a really nice evangelical church we attended had a “We proudly serve starbucks” sign in their narthex. I felt like I had just walked into “Stranger in a Strange Land” and was looking around for slot machines.
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I couldn’t agree more. I’ve seen something like that too. Rick Warren used his Church as a debate hall for candidates seeking election. This might not be limited to Protestants however. I once saw a new car parked on the Church porch, of a Catholic Church, in front of the vestibule entry. In the front window there was a huge sign that read, “Win This Car!” These things remind me of the Simpsons’ episode where Montgomery Burns sponsored the Church and brought in advertising and placed it all over the Church.
 
I personally love churches where there is fellowship after mass which I believe is a friendly and christian thing to do. It brings us closer as Catholics which I see as a very good thing. However, at my present church we only have the sidewalk to talk at. Instead of a kitchen area (which is locked on sundays and a part of the Catholic school across the alley behind the church), we have to congegrate outside and then most leave after five minutes. This is the complete opposite from my last church where 90% stayed after, there would be snacks for children and occasionally we would have a pancake breakfast (mass was at 8:00). So, I think it best for there to be parish fellowship and hope that your wife’s parish will grow closer and become more active.
 
It varies, but in the parishes that I have been to, it appears that around 40-50% of the people stay for fellowship when that occurs, sometimes less than that. Some parishes have more of a community feel than others do, for various reasons… Some urban parishes cover a large area with mostly anonymous people whereas others are smaller with more ongoing interaction or a longer generational history, so people remain afterward to talk with their friends and neighbors.

But I would say in general there is somewhat less participation in fellowship at Catholic churches than I have observed at others. Perhaps, as others have said, that is due to the reason they are there, which is for worship rather than community building. Or some may see it as “their religious obligation is satisfied” so they are ready to move on to the rest of their day.

Some might just not like the cookies they serve…or the coffee.
 
I would say if the married couple goes together, it is much easier to be part of a connecting overall parish fellowship. The Knights of Columbus always have good fellowship associated with them.

My husband is house bound and so I have to go alone most of the time.
 
Subtropical said:
Here is a non-controversial observation that I have wondered about. All feedback is welcome.
When I go to Mass with wife, I have noticed that that the post-worship fellowship is minimal. Let’s say there are 100 people at Mass, 90 of them leave right immeadiately afterwards, and about 10 or so make to the fellowship/snack area.

This contrasts to my own Jewish background and what I have experienced in mainline Protestant churches, where the percentages are reversed, about 90% stay for coffee, cookies, and conversation. I have even been to both synagogues and protestant churches where name tags are distributed, and chit-chatting is strongly encouraged.

Is the lack of post-Mass fellowship/socializing part of Catholic culture, per se, or it is just we are all (unfortunately…) rushing off to Target or Costco:)

All responses are welcome
Click to expand...
At my parish its about the same, about 80 - 90 percent head to the exits immediately after mass, small percent linger at the back. Not sure why, also I am surprised you found the Mainlines to be this social, I always thought they too were quick to exit after service.
Think its the evangelicals who are more social before and after service - many years ago when I attended that seemed to be the trend. The couple times I have attended a Evangelical Church over the past few years for family reasons, seemed different, people who had preexisting cliques may hang out a bit, but I remember standing their in the back and not a word from anyone.
 
We have fellowship after our Divine Service ( Mass ) and just before Sunday School which is taught by one of the pastors. With Lutherans, other than Beer, the coffee is the drink of choice and doughnuts are a requirement. 🙂
 
After our service in our megachurch in the ELCA, everyone swarms to the donuts and coffee. Too many people stay long after the service :eek:
 
Subtropical said:
Here is a non-controversial observation that I have wondered about. All feedback is welcome.
When I go to Mass with wife, I have noticed that that the post-worship fellowship is minimal. Let’s say there are 100 people at Mass, 90 of them leave right immeadiately afterwards, and about 10 or so make to the fellowship/snack area.

This contrasts to my own Jewish background and what I have experienced in mainline Protestant churches, where the percentages are reversed, about 90% stay for coffee, cookies, and conversation. I have even been to both synagogues and protestant churches where name tags are distributed, and chit-chatting is strongly encouraged.

Is the lack of post-Mass fellowship/socializing part of Catholic culture, per se, or it is just we are all (unfortunately…) rushing off to Target or Costco:)

All responses are welcome
Click to expand...
My experience in CA is that it depends on the parish and on who is attending the mass. We have little ones and so we always stop at the parish hall after mass for a donut and coffee while the kids play with a pack of other little ones. That’s the 9:00 A.M. mass. The 7:00 is usually populated by empty-nesters, or older couples with older children… so there’s a different crows. The youth groups attend the 5:30 P.M. mass on Sunday evening, and there’s a packed social gathering afterward from what I hear. So, I guess it depends on the people.

Peace,
Robert
 
Subtropical,

In the Los Angeles area, most Roman Catholic parishes I’ve seen are as you say: very few people stay after for fellowship. Here are a few thoughts on why this may be. At least in some places, it does seem to be something that has crept into Roman Catholic culture. It is not a positive development.
  • most parishes are very large, i.e. 100s of families. I think some of what you observe is common in larger parishes where it is harder to get to know everyone.
-consider that the people in a parish are at varying levels of the spiritual life. Some come out of habit or for cultural reasons.Some are visiting, or don’t have one particular parish they are attached to, and thus, not knowing anyone, don’t feel comfortable staying. Some prefer to remain anonymous, or prefer the opportunity for some solitude in church for prayer. Some come merely because it is an obligation to fulfill, and don’t have a sense that there is a deeper life in Christ that we live in union.(See Psalm 133, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”)

Some of these are (at times) valid reasons, but I think what you observe is indeed a problem in some parishes.

My own Byzantine Catholic parish is very small - everyone knows everyone - and there is usually lively fellowship after Sunday liturgies. Visitors are usually noticed and welcomed to join in as well. This is typical of our parishes - but again - much of it may be partly just a function of their small size.
 
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