Parish Politics

  • Thread starter Thread starter DakiniArtist
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

DakiniArtist

Guest
Wow.

I did not know there was such a thing as parish politics until today. I inadvertently got in the middle.

So. Ridiculous.

I’m off a committee now. Wasn’t my decision. My husband doesn’t understand why I’m upset, as from the start I had a bad vibe about the folks leading it and a couple in it.

High school never ends, I guess.

😦
 
Consider yourself lucky that you haven’t had to deal with it until now. I’ve been witnessing the effects of parish politics since I was a kid. My mother’s always been very involved at her parish so I could give you page after page of just her horror stories. I never realized how bad it could be until I was grown, on my own and volunteering at my parish. Something that strikes me is how the ones most heavily involved in the politics will be the first to tell you they don’t exist. I’ve seen things that would make your head spin, only to have the people who wielded their power to get them to happen turn around and say they had nothing to do with it. I try to stay as friendly as I can with the potentates I have to deal with, and keep my head down when that doesn’t work.
 
Well, the church is full of people…and people have intellects and wills and are imperfect creatures. The Church is no different than the rest of the world in that all human beings are capable of being uncharitable as well as capable of performing great works for Christ The church is a hospital for sinners… Please don’t let a few bad apples spoil your faith. There will surely be a ministry for which you are called to participate. Join a prayer group or sign up to help in another way. Take your troubles and sadness over what has happened to you to the Lord. He will comfort you. Pray for those who are persecuting you. That is what Our Lord requires of us.
 
Before reverting I spent 5 years in a very well organized Protestant church that had very dedicated members. When the ‘all hands on deck’ call out for funerals or the annual fundraiser went out, we had more than enough help and everyone exhibited proper behaviour. This after being part of other churches that were disasters. The difference was in organization, no one, no ONE stayed in a ministry more than 3 years and no one, no ONE kept the same position in that ministry for more than a year. So no egos were inflated, the terms were a duty and members carried out their duties. I appreciated the quarterly meetings where the whole membership could attend, business in the open.

My current parish has closed door meetings, don’t know who is in there, don’t know what their plans are, can’t share in their goals. Tried to connect with current ministries, but there is sadly, an overly apparent power struggle that I just opted out of so I don’t serve anywhere. I have to meet with a group outside of my parish. The war started before I got there, seems the priest is aware and tries to quell it, but the strong personalities still butt heads. It’s ugly. Sad.
 
My dad was on the vestry at the church we attended when I was a kid. I remember my dad talking to my mom about the details about the vestry meetings, etc. I don’t recall tall he details, but I do remember that it was very political.

I suppose when you get a group of people together, people and their egos start to show. One person may think that they are the best at X and they do their best to keep that as their thing, etc. Not saying it is right, though.
 
It’s everywhere! It’s everywhere! At our parish we have 2 paid positions (Pastor and Secretary). All other positions are volunteers. I am a “new” parishioner (joined one year ago) and I volunteered to take on the DRE position. This will be my 2nd year as DRE. I put my faith in prayer and Jesus to guide me and be aware of my opinions. Often I am told “you are not from around here” or you are not a core member in our parish"

I think it’s human nature to take the path of least resistance and this applies to parish politics as well.
 
Thanks for the replies!

I’m very happy doing the RCIA Core Team. The meetings are professional and get out on time. I’ve got lots of places in the parish in which I “fit.”

It’s just a couple of folks; I needed to vent. One of them is a deacon so it’s a bit aggravating. I know parishes are made of people and I figured out a long time ago, thankfully, that I don’t go to church for other people!

I’m bummed I got kicked out of a ministry through no fault of my own. That smarts, but I’m an emotional gal.

👍
 
Among the great enemies of parish life are those power struggles and manipulations that are carried out via covert aggression, politely called “politics” by people who want to think of themselves as “nice.” This way of acting isn’t nice, it is sneaky and makes people paranoid of the very people they ought to be able to trust the most, but sometimes this communal habit is so entrenched that you just have to resign yourself to living in a country riddled with land mines. Stick to the paths you know, just as you would if you were living around real land mines. These things rarely change until you have both a pastor and a quorum of parishioners who decide not to tolerate them any more. Taking on this sort of situation directly is not the job of one person with no authority, excepting perhaps if the person is a short-timer who can afford to take the heat for saying out loud that the Emperor has No Clothes.

That’s not you. Hang in there, and realize that as the years go by you’ll get a better map in your head of where the explosives are. There are probably far fewer than you think. You just had the bad luck to walk on one of them earlier rather than later.
 
DakiniArtist said:
Wow.

I did not know there was such a thing as parish politics until today. I inadvertently got in the middle.

So. Ridiculous.

I’m off a committee now. Wasn’t my decision. My husband doesn’t understand why I’m upset, as from the start I had a bad vibe about the folks leading it and a couple in it.

High school never ends, I guess.

😦
Click to expand...
You’re off the committee. Yay!
 
Casilda said:
Before reverting I spent 5 years in a very well organized Protestant church that had very dedicated members. When the ‘all hands on deck’ call out for funerals or the annual fundraiser went out, we had more than enough help and everyone exhibited proper behaviour. This after being part of other churches that were disasters. The difference was in organization, no one, no ONE stayed in a ministry more than 3 years and no one, no ONE kept the same position in that ministry for more than a year. So no egos were inflated, the terms were a duty and members carried out their duties. I appreciated the quarterly meetings where the whole membership could attend, business in the open.
Click to expand...
That reminds me of the titanic power struggles on the TV show The Office over leadership of the party planning committee…

I like the quick rotations idea–that’s smart.
 
There will always be parish politics - some places more than others. It’s better to be aware of it and figure out how to deal with it than go in unaware and be sideswiped. I am very much involved in my parish, but since it is an ethnic parish, I will never be accepted as “one of them” even though I have that heritage, because I wasn’t born in that country. So I have learned to work around it and to let other people who also aren’t “one of them” in the parish know about upcoming events, people’s funerals, etc., since the English part of the bulletin doesn’t always have all the information that is in the ethnic part of the bulletin.
 
Oh don’t get me started in this subject because I will never stop lol. My parish is sadly full of this. The intrigue, the backstabbing, the drama, it has it all. We had a lovely priest who was a great man but not made of stern stuff and the parishioners ran all over him. Poor man developed a heart condition and luckily for him the archbishop sent him to a wealthy parish where he is much more relaxed.

In comes in the new pastor who I am sure was warned of the difficulties of dealing with this particular parish and he came in with guns blazing. Changed everything including the uniforms the ushers wear. Changed all the coordinating committees for all the ministries one by one including mine.

Worst thing is he didn’t tell anyone in private and just suddenly announced it in a general meeting in front of everyone and declared that if we didn’t like it then the ministry would be dissolved just like that. I was frankly relieved because I really don’t have a lot of time to be in a coordinating committee but others were devastated. New members were bewildered and some left permanently, some of the coordinators were so hurt they actually cried in subsequent meetings. I understand why he did it, he wanted to clean house but everyone was sacrificed not just the rotten apples.

Fast forward 3 months and I was asked back on the committe because members left. Errr no thanks , way too much drama and I served for 3 years which is already over the 2 you are supposed to. I’ll just help as a regular member for now. I love the church but yeah it’s a mess sometimes 🤷🤷
 
Well Stanncie, that was the best move for him to do.Get it all out in the open and show these people he will not be pushed around, nor will he alow good people from getting shoved around either,and if others don’t like it,too bad… Sometimes that just has to happen.
My great aunts used to give flowers for the altar all the time and doing other things for St.John’s in Hot Springs. Even though they did this,especially great Aunt Helen, it didn’t mean they bossed everyone else around,just because their parents helped found the parish and my great grandfather helped work on construction. In fact, the old two story house on Hwy 70 they lived in was built with left over concrete blocks from the church.
How great grandpa got ahold of them and used them to build the house,I don’t know.
Its like this not only in churches regardless of faith ,but also in the workplace too.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top