Parish practice - thoughts please!

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I don’t like it. I think that in the nave and the sanctuary there should be sacred silence. In my interpretation, anything that’s not in the rubrics should not be said. If it were me, I would skip this at the beginning, but have a coffee hour after this is briefly announced (as allowed by the rubrics) following the Prayer After Communion, but before the final blessing.
 
Claire_Lily said:
I have also noticed when I see some one I recognize from church at other public places and smile at them, there is seldom any sign of recognition on their part, even though we have seen each other at mass for years.
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I have to say I find that pretty sad! 😦

I often run into fellow parishioners, and we always at least greet each other cheerfully, and even stop for a chat if time allows! I DO belong to a wonderfully warm parish (not, however, given to chatting during Mass, or “overdoing” the sign of peace), and many of us socialise outside of Mass, help each other out in various ways, etc.
But then, in this very secular country, we Catholics are a slightly endangered species (:)), so we are a real community. I value my parish family highly, and can only wish the same for others!
 
This is a common practice at NO parishes, and I think it is a good thing. Just a few decades ago, church life was a real community. Kids played CYO hoops on the weekend, catholic school tuition was within reach of much of the middle class, etc. A lot of this has fallen by the wayside. I suppose the priest is trying to form more of a community through this simple action, and it isn’t all that bad.
 
Reborn2013 said:
This is a common practice at NO parishes, and I think it is a good thing. Just a few decades ago, church life was a real community. Kids played CYO hoops on the weekend, catholic school tuition was within reach of much of the middle class, etc. A lot of this has fallen by the wayside. I suppose the priest is trying to form more of a community through this simple action, and it isn’t all that bad.
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It is a feel-good but senseless gesture if the intent is to form a tighter parish community. 5 seconds of “hello” once a week with strangers will do nothing to form a community.
We don’t do it, and I am glad. I know of some parishes that do, it is rather awkward for me.

I know of some people who are very introverted/shy around strangers. I think it is actually cruel to these folks. Why do something that is cruel to even one person in the mass, especially if it does not do any good for everyone else? But common sense isn’t always common when it comes to liturgy these days.
 
My parish does not do this, my daughter’s does. I really don’t care one way or the other, except that it can get rather noisy. I will say, however, that in my daughter’s parish, the people seem so much friendlier than mine, and I’ve been a parishoner for over 20 years. When I go to Mass with her, people always smile at me, come up to me and introduce themselves if they know my daughter, they make me feel welcome. And almost no one leaves Mass early. They hang around, go to coffee, chat with each other.

I don’t know if the “meet and greet” has anything to do with it or not, but the whole atmosphere is different.

In any case, I don’t think it is that big of a deal to make a fuss about, IMO.
 
One of the saddest things I see at Mass is at the end of Mass, where people go out, with a proverbial “heads down” attitude that seems to convey that they can’t wait to get away from all these other people. They appear to have the attitude that they have “done (or taken care of) their obligation”. One gets the feeling that the Mass is some sort of private devotion rather than a community coming together in communion to worship God.

These same people avoid the Knights breakfast; they are not seen at other church/parish functions; they don’t volunteer for any activities which need help. the list can go on and on about how removed they are from anyone else there.

No, I would have to agree with tafan that 5 seconds once a week with strangers will not form community; but it can be the ice breaker that leads someone out of their shell to forming a friendship.

I would prefer to have quiet before Mass to gather my thoughts and get focused. But before I would criticize a parish for doing this, I would try to come up with a suggestion that would help to form that community with those individuals who seem to know no one and seem to have no interest getting to do so. If you are going to tear something down, first be ready to build it up with something better.
 
We recently stopped doing this at my parish. I’m the music director and a member of the worship committee and it was our thought that it just wasn’t necessary anymore. We used to read off the names of the servers, readers, EMHCs, ushers, cantor, etc. before asking everyone to stand and greet their neighbor. About a month ago we changed it to me basically saying, “Good morning, today is the ___ Sunday of Easter. Father so and so is our presider. Please stand and join in our entrance chant, number ###.” It’s gone over really well.
 
Building Community? Fostering Unity?

Sharing the Eucharist is our unity. That sacrament makes us one with the Lord, and He with us. That’s unity for me.

Thinking of unity, I think of all the churches and masses occurring around the world at that moment in time, sharing His Body and Blood. That is community for me.

Along those lines, if the Sign of Peace were moved “liturgically” to before the processional, I think it would eliminate lots of roaming/running around during the current time of the Sing of Peace, and, perhaps… satisfy those who insist that fostering unity and building community is accomplished by means other than by sharing the Eucharist.
 
mcmitton said:
Building Community? Fostering Unity?

Sharing the Eucharist is our unity. That sacrament makes us one with the Lord, and He with us. That’s unity for me.

Thinking of unity, I think of all the churches and masses occurring around the world at that moment in time, sharing His Body and Blood. That is community for me.

Along those lines, if the Sign of Peace were moved “liturgically” to before the processional, I think it would eliminate lots of roaming/running around during the current time of the Sing of Peace, and, perhaps… satisfy those who insist that fostering unity and building community is accomplished by means other than by sharing the Eucharist.
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I agree with you, but I also think that many people in the U.S. are lonely and would like to get to know fellow Christians and enjoy their company outside the Mass as well as during Mass.

There are several kinds of love spoken of in the Bible, and one of these is “phileo” or “friendship” love. The point is, it’s not “wrong” or “un-Christian” or “irreverent” to seek Christian friendships.

It’s hard to be friends when you don’t know names, or never get together and do anything. Many of the socials offered by Catholic parishes are actually very awkward for people who are a little more introverted, or who have trouble just walking to someone and striking up a conversation. Coffee and donuts is not an especially comfortable time for many people. Neither is a church picnic with beer and a throng of noisy children running around. (I love noisy children, BTW, but many aren’t used to this and don’t love it.)

I agree that just saying “hi” before a Mass isn’t really going to create a community, but it can create a feeling of community that might make it possible for people to begin striking up conversations after Mass.

But here’s my opinion. Unless this practice is enthusiastically supported 100% by the congregation, then I believe it should be discontinued by parishes.

People can sense when there is “disapproval” or “disdain” or a “negative feeling” among others. Body language, facial expression, etc. make it very clear. When people deliberately exclude themselves from the greeting time, and sit with their heads bowed, or their eyes closed, or refuse to smile and greet others, this creates a “cold spot” in the nave, and makes others very uncomfortable, and actually makes the parish seem even more unfriendly and cold.

My personal feeling is that the priest who wishes to have a friendlier parish (a GOOD goal and kudos to the priest who wants this!) needs to seek out those in the parish who have a God-given gift of hospitality, and ask them to use their gift to seek out new and lonely people and help them to feel welcome and included in the parish life.

There are people who are naturally effervescent (God-given trait), and they naturally greet others, smile, strike up conversations, and have a lot of empathy for others who they don’t know well. There are many of these people in any given parish. The priest should “recruit” them and “charge them” to use their gifts to help turn the parish into a friendly and loving place.

Another way to create a friendlier parish is to move beyond mere socializing and work to create “Christian love” among the parishioners. A lot of parishes already do this–have a committee that contacts those who are going through hard times or experiencing some kind of change in their lives, and arrange to help those people. E.g., when someone loses a loved one, it’s awesome when a group of church people show up with gifts of food, flowers, etc., or calls and tells the bereaved that they are being prayed for, etc.

But there are other ways to encourage Christian love. The priest could ask the parishioners to seek out someone that they have always wanted to get to know (perhaps they have been sitting next to each other for years during the Masses) and arrange to get together for coffee or a meal or some other social activity (a ball game, a walk, etc.) This would be a little difficult for someone who is terribly shy, but hopefully there are enough people who aren’t shy who would be excited to do this–I know my husband and I would love it! We often talk about trying to reach out more to our fellow parishioners, and then it slips to the bottom of the To Do list, and we forget about it. But if this was an All Parish Project, we would throw ourselves into it with enthusiasm! Wouldn’t this be fun?! And I think it would work. Sure, there would be a lot of “one-time only” dinners and coffees. But I think that many of the initial social activities would turn into friendships.

Anyway, I hope this post is helpful.

And I think that unless the OP has a better idea for encouraging friendliness in the parish, he/she should probably not bring up the issue. Perhaps my post has given the OP some ideas!
 
We do this in our parish and the desire to keep it is usually one of the first things a newly assigned priest hears when he arrives 🙂

I think it works great because either you get to give a personal welcome to someone new, or, if it’s someone you already know, it’s a chance to let slip that quick comment “nice shoes”, “Good luck” (to a child wearing a jersey), or “Glad you’re back” (to someone who’s been on a trip/out ill/etc.).

Then when the sign of peace comes, it’s (in our parish at least) quick, reverent, and respectful … any little comment was already said prior to mass.

The plan is for us to add a large entrance area for meet & greet when we redo our church design in a few years, and at that point, maybe we’ll change how we do it. But for now, our parish likes and enjoys it, and I like how it keeps the chit-chat out of the time for the sign of peace.

CJ
 
mcmitton said:
Building Community? Fostering Unity?

**Sharing the Eucharist is our unity. ** That sacrament makes us one with the Lord, and He with us. That’s unity for me.

Thinking of unity, I think of **all the churches and masses occurring around the world at that moment in time, sharing His Body and Blood. That is community for me.**Along those lines, if the Sign of Peace were moved “liturgically” to before the processional, I think it would eliminate lots of roaming/running around during the current time of the Sing of Peace, and, perhaps… satisfy those who insist that fostering unity and building community is accomplished by means other than by sharing the Eucharist.
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vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm

Not saying you are thinking this way, but using this as a jumping off point…
We can fall into thinking of the Eucharist as a cold and sterile physical presence. If we read the teaching of the Church on the Eucharist, it is in an obviously communal language. It is not an individual sacrament. It is celebrated with the whole Church as you say.
 
As the OP, I’m surprised that many parishes have been doing this. And I’m glad that it seems to work well for many of you and your parishes. I agree most with the idea that the supreme sign of Christian unity is the Eucharist, however, and that we come together as Christ’s body to worship and adore Him. We have all the other hours of the week to socialize with each other.

One of the responses above noted that some people leave Mass looking like “phew, glad that’s over, done with that for another week,” heads down, eyes averted. Does the pre-Mass greeting do anything to make those people feel more welcome? Have any of you here been that person, or someone who was cheered and inspired to take a more active role in the parish’s life BECAUSE of that greeting?

It’s true I think that the social activities any parish might offer are of interest to people already “connected”, already feel they have friends there with whom they want to socialize. New parishioners and people who don’t already know others (having young children helps enormously in establishing those social ties between school, sports, church) may indeed feel very awkward at the usual parish social activities.

I tend to agree with you who observe that a few seconds of greeting probably doesn’t go that far in fostering genuine connection among parishioners unfortunately. If a parish is rather small and friendly with many of the parishioners already sharing social bonds outside the parish - as my parish is - I think the greeting is unnecessary and artificial. But in every parish there could be more and better ways of creating and fostering genuine community centered on the Mass but not limited to it.

So happy to get all your ideas! God bless you today and always.
 
This happens at my sister’s parish! when my nephew had his 1st communion at the Noon Mass, there was someone who said to do this. I did not do this, I sat quietly in my pew. Church sanctuary is NOT the place to greet people like that…it sounds very…sorry…but it sounds very protestant-like. There is time to be social AFTER MASS, it shouldn’t be BEFORE Mass.

I am glad in my diocese we don’t do this (well, at my parish we don’t anyway)
 
It seems there is some confusion as to the purpose of this practice. It is not to promote a social time. It is brief. There is hardly time for social catching up. It is more an acknowlegement of who Christ is, who we are in Christ, and what we are about to celebrate.

St Augustine sermon 272:
What you see on God’s altar, you’ve already observed during the night that has now ended. But you’ve heard nothing about just what it might be, or what it might mean, or what great thing it might be said to symbolize. For what you see is simply bread and a cup - this is the information your eyes report. But your faith demands far subtler insight: the bread is Christ’s body, the cup is Christ’s blood. Faith can grasp the fundamentals quickly, succinctly, yet it hungers for a fuller account of the matter. As the prophet says, “Unless you believe, you will not understand.” [Is. 7.9; Septuagint] So you can say to me, “You urged us to believe; now explain, so we can understand.” Inside each of you, thoughts like these are rising: “Our Lord Jesus Christ, we know the source of his flesh; he took it from the virgin Mary. Like any infant, he was nursed and nourished; he grew; became a youngster; suffered persecution from his own people. To the wood he was nailed; on the wood he died; from the wood, his body was taken down and buried. On the third day (as he willed) he rose; he ascended bodily into heaven whence he will come to judge the living and the dead. There he dwells even now, seated at God’s right. So how can bread be his body? And what about the cup? How can it (or what it contains) be his blood?” My friends, these realities are called sacraments because in them one thing is seen, while another is grasped. What is seen is a mere physical likeness; what is grasped bears spiritual fruit. **So now, if you want to understand the body of Christ, listen to the Apostle Paul speaking to the faithful: “You are the body of Christ, member for member.” [1 Cor. 12.27] If you, therefore, are Christ’s body and members, it is your own mystery that is placed on the Lord’s table! It is your own mystery that you are receiving! You are saying “Amen” to what you are: your response is a personal signature, affirming your faith. When you hear “The body of Christ”, you reply “Amen.” **Be a member of Christ’s body, then, so that your “Amen” may ring true! But what role does the bread play? We have no theory of our own to propose here; listen, instead, to what Paul says about this sacrament: “The bread is one, and we, though many, are one body.” [1 Cor. 10.17] Understand and rejoice: unity, truth, faithfulness, love. “One bread,” he says. What is this one bread? Is it not the “one body,” formed from many? Remember: bread doesn’t come from a single grain, but from many. When you received exorcism, you were “ground.” When you were baptized, you were “leavened.” When you received the fire of the Holy Spirit, you were “baked.” Be what you see; receive what you are. This is what Paul is saying about the bread. So too, what we are to understand about the cup is similar and requires little explanation. In the visible object of bread, many grains are gathered into one just as the faithful (so Scripture says) form “a single heart and mind in God” [Acts 4.32]. And thus it is with the wine. Remember, friends, how wine is made. Individual grapes hang together in a bunch, but the juice from them all is mingled to become a single brew. This is the image chosen by Christ our Lord to show how, at his own table, the mystery of our unity and peace is solemnly consecrated. All who fail to keep the bond of peace after entering this mystery receive not a sacrament that benefits them, but an indictment that condemns them. So let us give God our sincere and deepest gratitude, and, as far as human weakness will permit, let us turn to the Lord with pure hearts. With all our strength, let us seek God’s singular mercy, for then the Divine Goodness will surely hear our prayers. God’s power will drive the Evil One from our acts and thoughts; it will deepen our faith, govern our minds, grant us holy thoughts, and lead us, finally, to share the divine happiness through God’s own son Jesus Christ. Amen!
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I attend mass at one of the largest parishes in my diocese, and we do a pre-mass greeting. The priest also greets visitors during announcements after communion. I’m guessing that would not sit well with some posters here! The idea that greeting one another in fellowship is taken as “too protestant” is a little disturbing. The Eucharist is a communal event; both at an individual church and across all churches. I focus intensely on it as an individual during the Mass but I recognize the Mass itself is of communal benefit. IOW, it’s not just about me.
 
lcburgundy said:
I attend mass at one of the largest parishes in my diocese, and we do a pre-mass greeting. The priest also greets visitors during announcements after communion. I’m guessing that would not sit well with some posters here! The idea that greeting one another in fellowship is taken as “too protestant” is a little disturbing. The Eucharist is a communal event; both at an individual church and across all churches. I focus intensely on it as an individual during the Mass but I recognize the Mass itself is of communal benefit. IOW, it’s not just about me.
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I don’t go to Mass to socialize before Mass. There is time AFTER Mass for that. ** I go to Mass to listen to God’s word and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist**. Greeting neighbors in other pews in front and behind you can get loud and disruptive.
 
jediliz said:
I don’t go to Mass to socialize before Mass. There is time AFTER Mass for that. ** I go to Mass to listen to God’s word and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist**. Greeting neighbors in other pews in front and behind you can get loud and disruptive.
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Okay.

Do you greet people after Mass? Do you stop and talk to people? Participate in activities at your parish? Know your neighbor?

(And not just you. Everyone. Are you part of parish life?)
 
maryjk said:
Okay.

Do you greet people after Mass? Do you stop and talk to people? Participate in activities at your parish? Know your neighbor?

(And not just you. Everyone. Are you part of parish life?)
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I agree with jediliz, and as for me, I can answer yes to every one of your questions. We live in a parish that has been through a lot of stress due to large influx of Hispanics (a simple blue collar white parish that after about 10 years finds itself 80-90% Hispanic), yet the community spirit is there in abundance, even across language barriers to a certain extend. I would say adversity is the best way to build community, but one cannot create that. Certainly meet and greets before mass never would have helped.
 
jediliz said:
I don’t go to Mass to socialize before Mass. There is time AFTER Mass for that. ** I go to Mass to listen to God’s word and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist**. Greeting neighbors in other pews in front and behind you can get loud and disruptive.
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I do as well, keeping in mind what the Eucharist is, as explained by St Augustine’s sermon above. It is not just a reception, more a participation in something infinitely larger than ourselves.
That is what this practice is designed to acknowledge, it is not socializing.
 
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