Parish RE / Faith Formation

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Totally different… “Ours” is a 90 min “class” for parents one Wed a month – it’s really 20min of work stretched out 90 min-- then the parents are supposed to teach the kids two lessons over the month. One Sunday a month we all need to meet after 10 am mass for fellowship (which is really awkward because we still don’t all know each other, cliques are cliques and 80% of the families just want go), then go over what was learned over the month. $125 a kid (for us $175 for 1, $125 for the other) that seems out of line. We actually decided to just sign up one kid (1st communion) due to the cost of a program we (the parents) do everything. Due to that price, program, and stringency of the priest my wife may me moving to another parish next year.
 
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We ran into that this year too. The first couple parent night classes were packed, over 100 people. When I started attending for my wife so she didn’t have to do the whole program alone, I counted as low as 25-35 people.

It got to the point that the RE was praising people for showing up and being the ones giving effort to the program. There were 22ish kids in the first communion class, I know there wasn’t more than 25-35 kids represented by parents at thos last few parent meetings.

They’ve added on now too. I think we have 4 meetings in September and an extra on Oct-March due to 1st communion. They lost a lot of people and I think will again after making this year more involved and charging so much. I found 5 parishes within 20 min, this is by far the most expensive.
 
Wow!! So—no other instruction options besides this? Honestly it is coming across to me that your parish is too short on volunteers to have a real faith formation program. And while the home is the domestic church, or it is supposed to be, its the Church’s responsibility to see that the children are properly formed to receive the sacraments. So at least during sacramental years, it seems like it would be prudent to have more instruction than that, and in a verifiable way.
 
No, no other options and from what I was told it’s nothing to do with a shortage of volunteers.

I was told, it’s supposed to combat the lowering numbers of the church.

Parents will attend the classes and start teaching the kids at home. This will in turn start to make the parents more excited to practice their faith, the kids see this and Mass attendance goes up. In cases like mine (I’m not Catholic), at the end of the first year I should have observed how excited my family is to go to Mass again and have an epiphany to convert right away and be in RCIA this year.

It’s really backfiring, they’ve lost families to other parishes and the Lutheran church across town and there were no adult baptisms at Easter, I don’t think there were any adults accepted into the church at Easter.
 
I think that a lot of parents vocalized their displeasure with the program last year, it got to the point where the priest acknowledged it via both homily and his letter in the bulliten, which was basically “even though you want the classroom program back, I know better so we’re keeping this”.

I know our end of the year feedback was very pointed, not just at the program but church leadership, why the program isn’t working and why we (as a mixed marriage) most likely won’t be back. My wife broke down at the deadline and decided to stay here, but we only signed up one child.

I won’t be attending anything until at least the end of October (outside of issues I already have with this parish), so it will be interesting to see how many families stuck with it.

Other thing that seems to be new this year, starting in 7th grade the student and parent must interview with the priest before being allowed to join the program. That should be interesting for us in a couple years here with my experience ( and feedback from the parish about non-Catholics) and our not signing him up this year. I get a feeling that if my wife decides to stay in this parish, my oldest is going to have a hard time getting confirmed.

The priest already once went off in a homily about hockey families…and with my oldest being well known in town for being one of the top skaters in a high level program a town over…we kind of knew who he was talking about…¯_(ツ)_/¯

Between our families feedback, what was said about non-Catholics (and those that choose to date, let along marry those who aren’t Catholic), etc…needless to say, they were a bit surprised when I (yes me…cuz I’m a good husband and dad) showed up to sign up at least one child for the program.
 
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It kind of reminds me of those episodes of the apprentice where the team leader has an idea and pushes it because it’s their idea even though everyone else is trying to tell them it’s a bad idea.
 
I so wish you could have a sit down with the Diocese Director of Faith Formation and with your Bishop. They need to be made aware of these things.
 
Honestly, I’m not really sure what that would do. Seems above my pay grade, and seem like the diocese may be for the program? Not sure why just this program though.
 
I remember you posting about this last year. That is insanely expensive for a religious ed program. It does make sense if—as you said used to be done—they are busing and feeding the kids. But the fact that they dropped that and kept the same price is completely baffling to me.

I do kind of understand why they are sticking with the program itself. I don’t know the numbers about this type of program specifically, but I have seen numbers regarding other substantial changes made to religious education and it sometimes shows a drastic drop off for five years before the numbers rebound. Perhaps that is what the priest is expecting and/or waiting for.

I understand the rationale. He wants parents involved because parents being involved and invested is absolutely crucial to having kids that continue to practice the faith into adulthood. But I can see how it is frustrating for you and the other parents to witness the great resistance from most parents and see those in the parish still pressing ahead anyway.

I really don’t have any good answers for you. You just have to press forward as best as you can. If it were me, I would be looking at the other nearby Catholic parishes.
 
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Diocese Faith Formation offices are not like Corporate HQ for a franchise. They do not know that there are problems until someone alerts them. The outrageous fees, cruel words about non-Catholics, they need to be made aware!!
 
We have lower registration numbers this year - especially in grades 7-8. I have 3rd grade this year - have 13 in my class & one is my granddaughter. At first, the neighboring parish was stating that “the family has to be registered at our parish to enroll in our RE program”, but now they are accepting RE students from our parish. Many parents who were not thrilled with the family formation model have enrolled their kids in the traditional weekly program there. The 2 parishes are supposed to be connected as a “pastorate”, eventually with one administration, but that transition is still a few years down the road. I actually like the idea of offering both - the family formation model on Sunday and the traditional weekly program on Wednesday evenings.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Diocese Faith Formation offices are not like Corporate HQ for a franchise. They do not know that there are problems until someone alerts them. The outrageous fees, cruel words about non-Catholics, they need to be made aware!!
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OK, possibly something to bring up then. I know one of the classes that the kids have to go to (an added day this month) is required from the diocese. I guess since they controlled some of the requirements, I thought they had more of a hand in it.
Joe_5859 said:
I remember you posting about this last year. That is insanely expensive for a religious ed program. It does make sense if—as you said used to be done—they are busing and feeding the kids. But the fact that they dropped that and kept the same price is completely baffling to me.
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It is to a lot of people…I think that’s why they lost so many over the summer and then more trickled out of the program as the year went on.
Joe_5859 said:
I have seen numbers regarding other substantial changes made to religious education and it sometimes shows a drastic drop off for five years before the numbers rebound. Perhaps that is what the priest is expecting and/or waiting for.
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Oh…I’m sure he is too…that or he’s blind to the opposition (even though he has acknowledged that opposition in homily and on paper). They are losing so many to what must be either A) home lessons or B) the Lutheran church across town. Like I said, there were 20 some kids in this years first communion class. At one of the last parent nights I went to, there was only 25-30 kids represented. The one thing they have going for them is their monopoly…they’re the only Catholic church in town.
Joe_5859 said:
He wants parents involved because parents being involved and invested is absolutely crucial to having kids that continue to practice the faith into adulthood.
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Yep, I also think one of his other goals is that parents like me would have made the jump at the end of last year to conversion.
 
Joe_5859 said:
to witness the great resistance from most parents and see those in the parish still pressing ahead anyway.
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IMHO, I think that RE leadership see the program isn’t really working…but their hands are tied. They’ve made mention and thanks at parent meetings that we’re the ones really committed to the program. TBH, I only showed up to the parent nights because that’s the best way I could help my wife, since as a NC there were really some lessons WE struggled with. This year is the sacraments, which could also be even tougher for us.
Joe_5859 said:
If it were me, I would be looking at the other nearby Catholic parishes.
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She is. We only signed up one of our children this year. It’s his first communion year so she wants to get him through that at the same church our oldest did, then we may re-evaluate. The only reason she switched to this church was for the classroom RE. Only downside is the next closest parish is out in the country and their classes are on Sunday morning…but the cost is only $35.
DiZent said:
Many parents who were not thrilled with the family formation model have enrolled their kids in the traditional weekly program there.
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That’s what my wife is thinking of doing. Even their “non-parishioner” price is cheaper than what we pay here.
DiZent said:
I actually like the idea of offering both - the family formation model on Sunday and the traditional weekly program on Wednesday evenings.
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Agreed, but I think the priest here is gung-ho to make the program work. I think he believes that the parents here aren’t very well catechized and by getting them excited about this program they’ll show to Mass more and another one of his goals is that parents like me (not Catholic) will see my families “renewed excitement” and make the conversion immediately. He made mention this year about his feelings that there were no RCIA candidates to confirm or baptize at Easter.
 
It looks like the numbers are exceptionally low this year. Last night was the first parents meeting and I drove by church on the way home from football practice. I estimated maybe 25-30 cars, tops (there “should” be at least 110-140 families elidgable for the program). My wife went to the meeting and guessed that "ya, numbers were down probably 60 or 70% from the first night last year.
 
I wonder if the priest would still claim success if no families turned up.
 
Wait – the Catholic Church charges money for religious ed? Is this all over? I have never heard this. Isn’t this covered as a standard parish expense? I’m kind of in shock here…
 
I don’t know, he has to see the registration numbers…

I only went to maybe half of the meetings last year and saw him once, at the last one where “we” (the program families) sponsored a high priced high profile speaker for the entire parish.

My wife thinks she may have saw him at the first meeting. Everything in-between I don’t recall him there. I thought that was surprising.
 
I don’t know if it’s all over…but I think it’s pretty common? We’re looking at getting out of this RE program (price and “we” have to do all the work…and they’re making it wayyy more involved). All the other parishes charge something. I looked at 4 besides the one my wife is at. Prices ranged from as low as $35 to as high as $175. We paid $175 where my wife is at now (sacrament year). Normally it’s $125 a kid (confirmation year is $300). Soon we’ll have 3 kids of RE age. If we sign them all up we’ll cap at the family max of $400, but who knows how high that could go though.
 
Our parish asks that parents cover the cost of the book. If they cannot afford the $25, the book is given to them free.
 
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