Parishes face new challenges as millennials avoid marriage, family life

  • Thread starter Thread starter JimG
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I am just towards may way being catholic, but this perspective is very strange for me. The articles speaks about programming (especially for youth), about community relations, about catholic families bringing downs catholic values and culture to their children, about those niceties of parish community (I wonder why they did not mention after-mass agape, pancake balls and coffee evenings?).

But faith (at least for me) is about spirituality, about all encompassing system of values (which guides our decisions from voting up to enterprise wise business decisions), about standing one-to-one before God during the moment of death, about philosophy of Transcendence and Providence, about integral development of humans and nature and so on, so on. Quite a lot of things instead of parish chat and parish activities.

I am quite sceptical about efforts to make events (like youth leadership courses, like charity and education activities instead of developing respective government services systematically and science-lead) to attract faithful. Faith is something more than those activities, faiths is also sacraments. We can not replace the sacraments by hanging events.

And regarding the family life specifically. What happens to people between ages 15 and 38 (when they are getting married)? Well, of course, they are seeking God, church, but the church is closed for them, because they are sexually active during this time and Catholic Church does not recognize it. That is the problem. I hope, that clergy, theologians and pastors are seeing this and will make some steps.

There were stages in the human history when family was quite different (matriarchate), there are cultures in which the family is different, there are developments that have a wider looks on sexuality (e.g. committed relationships that allow managed/wise-smart/exploratory/emotional/human side-steps and groupings).
 
As a Gen Xer, it doesn’t surprise me at all.

With rampant divorce, it’s much easier to live together without the liability of marriage. Yes I say liability especially with divorce being more likely than ever.

Add to that increasing cost of housing, an uncertain job market where one can lose a job so easily, it’s not so easy to support a family. Also add to that the astronomical cost of healthcare, at least in the US, where childbirth is expensive.

There are so many challenges facing young families that it’s a wonder that there are young families.
 
Last edited:
Sarcelle said:
Add to that increasing cost of housing, an uncertain job market where one can lose a job so easily, it’s not so easy to support a family. Also add to that the astronomical cost of healthcare, at least in the US, where childbirth is expensive.
Click to expand...
I think this is a big part of it. Some tell millennials not to get married until they can support a family because they shouldn’t start off marriage using NFP and then turn around and lament that those same millennials aren’t getting married until they are older. Many millennials (especially the older ones referenced in the article) unfortunately graduated into a world of recession where wages were depressed and have never really caught up while cost of living has been rising steadily. It’s a catch 22 for many that I do not envy. (We’ve been fortunate to recover well from the 2008 recession but it took a lot of time, hard work, and luck.)
 
arvo said:
And regarding the family life specifically. What happens to people between ages 15 and 38 (when they are getting married)? Well, of course, they are seeking God, church, but the church is closed for them, because they are sexually active during this time and Catholic Church does not recognize it. That is the problem. I hope, that clergy, theologians and pastors are seeing this and will make some steps.
Click to expand...
What steps should theologians and pastors take? The Church is a hospital for sinners, which includes all of us. But I don’t think that changing moral teachings about sexual ethics would do any good.
 
Changing the teachings on sexual ethics will make the situation worst.

The Church is teaching the right things on sexuality and it’s proper place in human life.

The current political, social and economic situation will need to improve in order to create a society conducive to the formation of young families.
 
Not the experience in this part of the universe. We have a schedule full of baptisms.
 
After watching the church bow to the world, forgive me for not being surprised that parishes are struggling. Reaping and sowing and such.
 
Love not judgment is necessary here.

Times are changing. Every man’s work was necessary in the history. Today the machines and software automates lot of jobs and so - the simple work is not valued any more. Not valued by the same capitalist, free market laws. What to do? Bend the laws? Subsides the jobs who is not bringing income? Pay benefits? The income from the capital is rising, the income from the labour is declining (Wage share - Wikipedia), it is not wonder that this is reflected in the behaviour of the people. If you are lucky to have capital, then you can build up holy, righteous life (by some standards… ahem… we all the standards of the Lord). If you should work, well…

Signs of our times! Why we are not reading them! Why we are pretending that all is the same as it was in the past! Who has said that this time have no its distinct times? Aren’t we willing to think?
 
Millennials didn’t invent the concept of marrying later. Most of my friends delayed marriage until at least their late 20s and quite a few didn’t get married till their very late 30s or very early 40s. One big reason for that, of course, is that ever since the 70s people are able to simply cohabitate and go from relationship to relationship without having to get divorced. Marriage only became an urgency when they met someone who really moved them to marry and/or there was some pressing reason to marry, such as, their partner expected it, it would bring financial benefits, or they wanted to have kids and preferred to do so in a marital relationship and couldn’t delay because the clock was ticking for the woman.

I personally never wanted to get married young because my parents didn’t (Mom was 35 and Dad was 38) and they thought it was better to wait till you were older, like past 30, and told me so. Seemed reasonable.
 
Last edited:
arvo said:
Well, of course, they are seeking God, church, but the church is closed for them, because they are sexually active during this time and Catholic Church does not recognize it. That is the problem. I hope, that clergy, theologians and pastors are seeing this and will make some steps.
Click to expand...
How is the Church “closed” for them?
What does the Church “not recognize”?
What steps should they take?
 
arvo said:
What happens to people between ages 15 and 38 (when they are getting married)? Well, of course, they are seeking God, church, but the church is closed for them, because they are sexually active during this time and Catholic Church does not recognize it.
Click to expand...
What do you mean by this? The Church is not “closed” for anybody committing sexual sin. You’re supposed to not receive Eucharist if you’re not in a state of grace, and if you’re cohabitating or otherwise behaving scandalously, the parish may not accept you for certain ministries - most of which to be honest were not something I wanted to do in my 20s anyway and I’m guessing a lot of other young people feel the same way, ministries tend to attract many older folks.

You can still go to Mass and the parish picnic and all that. Nobody is going to inquire into your sex life unless you do something really blatant like bring your partner to the picnic and start behaving inappropriately in front of everyone there.

I sinned for a lot of years and I went to Mass during a lot of those years too.
I’ll freely admit that sometimes it seemed like the Church then and the Church now is biased towards married couples with children; the single person of any age who isn’t clergy, religious, or lay minister is shunted aside by many parishes, or so it seemed to me. But that’s not the same as saying “the Church is closed” or that you can’t be thinking about your faith just because you aren’t totally living right. I was thinking about mine during all those years of sin before I managed to right the ship with God’s help.
 
Well - it is very simple. Millenials need sex every day, or at least every three days. They can not live without it. Is there solution? Well - for me personally - I guess I know the spiritual catharsis, but also I know - it ends and then I am back in everyday life, I need to think clearly in my job, I need to feel good to smile at my collegues. Well - I am reading books about sex, about absinence, about sexual ethics, I am trying to think about myself. But it takes time and I am not sure wherever it leads to me. So - every day continues.

I have hear some advice from one priest (it was published in our diocesian magazine) for unmarried or civilian remarried couples - just allow yourself this pleasure more or less regularly and then go almost immediately after each such pleasure to the confessional and be relieved both from the sexual pressure and the spiritual guild/sin (he talked less explicit in the magazine). Is this really the solution for the millenials?

I can not imagine to confess the sins if I have no the solid, realistic plan how not to sin again, ever! Yes, I can later fail to implement this plan, but I should have this plan and it should be realistic and it should take into account my personality with all of its boundedness and weaknesses as I know it.

Well, I have no plan how to combat sexual sins. This is the way how I understand “closed”.
 
Of course, I am thinking about Eucharist and confession. I am going to Mass every week as well, but I can not go to the confession and Eucharist. For the most tie it is fine by me.

But then there are moments when I am face-to-face with death and then I promise myself that I will bring my life into order and be ready for Eucharist. Some weeks ago I had this moment again - I don’t know - what it was (my suspect is that it was Covid19 or the syphilis/some STI, it was bad, though nothing was confirmed yet) - but it brought me back with the possibility of death and with the necessity to be a far more better catholic, full catholic.
 
My own parents married young and they themselves cautioned me against marrying young.

I myself never got married.
 
arvo said:
Millenials need sex every day, or at least every three days.
Click to expand...
This is laughable. I know a LOT of millennials who are not having sex this often, generally for reasons that have nothing to do with the Church.

And no one “needs” sex. You don’t get ill from a lack of sex.

I really think this discussion has left the realm of logical thought.
 
Last edited:
Just had a physical a few months ago.

My doctor told me to keep exercising, eating right by sticking to whole unprocessed nutritious food, avoiding as much as possible junk food and fast food, get enough sleep and be sure to take vitamin D supplements. My blood test results were good except for a vitamin D deficiency.

Nowhere did the doctor say about a sex deficiency or the need to have sex every three days or I could die.

@Tis_Bearself is right.

Lack of sex doesn’t kill.
 
Not to mention that marriage does not guarantee sex every day or even every week.
 
arvo said:
Millenials need sex every day, or at least every three days. They can not live without it.
Click to expand...
I’m not sure if you’re being funny or not.

I’ll pretend you’re serious.

Would you please link to any reports of “terminal chastity”?

T’anks
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top