Parishes face new challenges as millennials avoid marriage, family life

[arvo]

Well, it is from experience. When I was teen I tried to be good Catholic and chaste and tried to abstain from masturbation. I could survive 1, 2 days, I devised differential rituals, different counting of days to keep go without it and I failed after every 1, 2 or max 3 days. And it is so the all life - with or without partner. Well - my response is graphic. But my reality is graphic. I don’t know whether I am even sorry for that. And starting from some point I just choose not to fight with myself. I guess, it was Paul who teached to fight with oneself.

Well - I hope that I am not leading you into sin. Please, be committed to your values. I value your perspective and I am trying to adjust to the Catholic norms and not to bend them. I guess, there is big, big wisdom in to experience that values modest life and self-appreciation.

it is quite possible that i am still quite infantile and not as grown man.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Please understand, chastity is a challenging path. Lots of people struggle with it.
Of course most virtues and skills worth having are a lot of work.

But why is it on the Church to change?

 

[arvo]

Why change? Here are some hints, though I am not sure about futher:

• over excessive focus on sexuality should be understanded and reduced: first century culture had no effective contraceptives - possible contraceptives were the realms of prostitutes and the alternative was the putting newborn child out - for the death of chance of survival (it is hard to understand that practice, but it was used even in cultured Greece; hence the chastity/abstinence was the only real control of family growth) - all that created any suspicions around sex which may not be warranted now;
• historically physical labour domnited, today the intellectual labor dominates and it have different requirements on the culture, behaviour of the workforce. Maybe active sexual life is necessary to keep spirits high.
• sex and love are very, very mystical subjects. They have generated so much science, literature and art and are still to rediscovered by each new generation. Maybe science and art could teach use something different about relationships and sexuality than the 2000 year old ideas? Maybe we should drift away from mechanics and more ask ourselves - what we as human beings need and what we don’t need. This deliberation can be hard and endless, but it is better to devote some time for it and go with the results than to live as robots that are programmed by handful of simple rules.
• social reality has changed - it is quite harder to establish family and raise children and have housing. The job insecurity, business cycles, necessity to relocate, to reeducate themselves, to work from project-to-project - all that challenges the family life which requires some peace and some order for growth.

 

[arvo]

• more profound changes, as I said elsewhere - up to now the Mother Nature had its mechanisms for development of human beings as species: sex with the mutation and recombination of genetic material, survival of fittest and the death to create room for the new generation. Today CRISPR and gene engineering (during lifetime) replaces the probabilistic events during the procreation, the medicine and culture replaces the life for survival and the anti-aging/rejuvenation replaces the death and need for the new generation. So - the role of sex really diminishes to the level of pleasure - yes - quite human and cultured, but still - pleasure (like culture and carefully implemented diet).
• even the spiritual role of marriage is changing: I have found article “David Cloutier, “Composing Love Songs for the Kingdom of God? Creation and Eschatology in Catholic Sexual Ethics,” Journal of the Society of Christian Ethics 24.2 (2004) 71–88, at 73.” and I am trying to find time for reading it, but this article states, that only the chastity has the spiritual role before the VCII. Marriage was just and institution and Sacrament. And only during VCII and during the subsequent papacies the spiritual role of marriage emerged as something parallel to the chastity and celibacy. Well - maybe all this is connected with the defense of the civilian institution of the marriage. in any case - it is just one article - there are tons of different views. But it has some insight, though.

So, these are the though I am thinking and reading about.

At this moment I will cease to post in this thread and I will try to go on with my life and read some Catholic literature about control/management/cope/… of sexual drive.

For me the sex maybe is more the keeping spirits up (I am not using other means, no drugs, alcohol, tobacco) that the death-or-life question, but low spirits can lead to such question in today economy.

 

[Peeps]

I can not imagine to confess the sins if I have no the solid, realistic plan how not to sin again, ever!

Are you overweight, not a just by a few pounds, but actually into the “plus size” clothing?

I do have a reason for asking, so I hope you’ll respond to this question.

 

[arvo]

I have fought with obesity whole life. At the end of high school was 185 cm/98kg. Then I gained weight on and on. 5 years ago I had 145 kg, then I had problems with heart, I started diet, I started working hard in gym and now I have 185 cm / 95 kg. Gyms were closed during covid and I become a bit lax on discipline. But now gyms are open again and I had already 3 trainings. It is slow resume, but I am going. I am back to my diet as well.

I guess, I have some metabolic issues, but only deep DNA testing my reveal them. I hope that there will be drugs and CRISPR therapy to make me like more normal people, who has no such problems with extra weight.

 

[arvo]

Well - I guess - what you are thinking - that I am all about lust. And extra pounds are proof of it. But it is quite contrary - sexual prospects give me additional motivation in gym which I genereally is not enjoying. And being among men is additional motivation - men are generally more picky than women and that is why I need extra work on myself.

 

[Peeps]

Well - I guess - what you are thinking - that I am all about lust. And extra pounds are proof of it. But it is quite contrary - sexual prospects give me additional motivation in gym which I genereally is not enjoying. And being among men is additional motivation - men are generally more picky than women and that is why I need extra work on myself.

No, here’s what I’m thinking.

Many people like you (good for you!) are able to control their food intake and to practice some form of fitness activity on a fairly regular basis.

You may still have the desire for various foods that cause you to gain weight, and you may still struggle to stay motivated to go the gym and exercise, and sometimes you give in to temptation and eat a whole pizza, or stay away from the gym for a week–and afterwards, you feel terrible and you take a deep breath and start over and get back on your disciplined eating plan and head back to the gym.

So do the same with sex. Lose “sex weight” by doing the same kind of thing you do with food weight. Read, listen to, and watch only wholesome books, songs, and shows/movies that help you to think of the opposite sex in ways that honor them. Do actitivies that tire out your body and leave you with little time to think about or indulge in illicit sexual activity. And I’m not just talking about fitness activities, although those can really be helpful if you’re trying to avoid thinking about sex. Get involved in a volunteer activity like Habitat for Humanity, or working at a food pantry or animal rehab shelter or a local museum. Or plant a big garden (there are lots of cities and towns that have public gardens where anyone can acquire a small plot of land and plant what they wish. Or get a pet. Or start guitar lessons, or learn how to ice skate, or get involved in your local community theater (you can always be an usher if you can’t act!), or join a choir or start a garage band or paint your house…

…there are so many things to do before we die. Do them! Treat sex like you treat food–you just can’t have it whenever you want without facing some unpleasant consequences!

Again, congrats on your approach to weight management! It’s an inspiration to me!