Parishioners talking during mass

[liti]

my son is a mass coordinator - some parishioners that sit way in the back of the church and in the cry room are always talking & carrying a conversation and even during the consecration in mass - the motto of the priest is let’s be a friendly church rather have people in church than to have them out in the streets or not in church - what is the use if we are not going to show reverence or respect in church to our Lord? Are ushers allowed to quiet people down and to ask parents to watch and have control of their kids during mass? do we need to ask our priest for permission to do this? Our priest does not want to step on any ones toes as what i was told when we had a parishioner dress very provocatively during mass one Sunday and i had asked him who’s responsibility it was to let her know that we have a certain dress code or advise her why she can’t dress that way:shrug:

 

[ljprevo]

We are at mass to worship and honor that Lord, at least people should be and should be respectful of that and others that are worshipping and honoring the Lord.

The hour to hour & half is the time to full have your attention on God, not anything else, social hour (or in this case many hours) is for after mass, not during.

If someone is chatting a polite mention to stop is fine in my opinion.

 

[Leopard]

…Are ushers allowed to quiet people down and to ask parents to watch and have control of their kids during mass? do we need to ask our priest for permission to do this? Our priest does not want to step on any ones toes as what i was told when we had a parishioner dress very provocatively during mass one Sunday and i had asked him who’s responsibility it was to let her know that we have a certain dress code or advise her why she can’t dress that way:shrug:

As an usher and mass coordinator in my parish, I do not “hush” people, but sometimes I quietly inform them that their voices are carrying, they usually take the hint. For children, it is usually enough for me to catch their eye and place my finger across my lips. They respect the authority of the man with the long-handled basket, maybe they think I’m going to whack them with it if they don’t comply.

That being said, I do as I do because that is what my Pastor expects me to do. If yours does not, you should not go against his policies.

 

[m134e5]

my son is a mass coordinator - some parishioners that sit way in the back of the church and in the cry room are always talking & carrying a conversation and even during the consecration in mass

The ushers should say something to them.

the motto of the priest is let’s be a friendly church rather have people in church than to have them out in the streets or not in church

I can see his point- but that doesn’t mean you can’t challenge people to better their lives.

what is the use if we are not going to show reverence or respect in church to our Lord?

They still receive grace from being at Mass and it serves as a reminder to those who are more reverent to pray for those who are less reverent. With the way things are today, many people dress immodestly and really don’t know why that is such a big deal.

Are ushers allowed to quiet people down and to ask parents to watch and have control of their kids during mass?

Yes.

do we need to ask our priest for permission to do this?

You don’t, but your son probably does if he wants to be a Mass coordinator for very long.

Our priest does not want to step on any ones toes as what i was told when we had a parishioner dress very provocatively during mass one Sunday and i had asked him who’s responsibility it was to let her know that we have a certain dress code or advise her why she can’t dress that way

 

[CarrieH]

At least they aren’t talking on their cell phones…

Twice in the last three weeks, we have had cell phones ringing during Mass. Once was during the reading of the Gospel and the other was during the consecration. At least the people didn’t answer them, but neither did they reach down and silence them, probably not wanting anyone to know whose phone it was. So then the blasted things rang again a few seconds later to alert them that they had voicemail messages.

 

[theweeper]

last week i must have sat in front of the talkers. 3 little old ladies all dressed up and unsuspecting looking but as soon as the mass started they starting chatting loudly (i gathered from all the “huh?”'s that the hearing was starting to go) about kids, life, who is who. i was getting very angry and i wanted to stand up and say something that would have embarassed them into shutting up. but how charitable is that.
i heard one of the ladies say “Father is looking at us”
reply: " i dont care he has to let us talk we are older than he is"
then giggles all around
it was like being with a bunch of teenagers
then the worst thing
one said" oh my god look at her. i cant believe she is here and with so and so and on it went the entire mass- readings gospel homily consercration communion all of it and afterward
i just prayed my butt off for them

 

[CapaxDei]

i just prayed my butt off for them

You’re a better man than I am.

Unless, of course, you’re a woman… in which case you’re DEFINITELY a better woman than I am.

 

[Biblioassistant]

i just prayed my butt off for them

You are definitely better than I am. I would have been tempted to turn around and say “do you mind, I am trying to pray”

Sigh

In our church it’s always the little old ladies who are the worst offenders.

 

[latinmasslover]

We had a priest who, at his previous parish where reverence was encouraged, saw two boys (about 13 yrs old) talking and he came down from the Sanctuary, walked right up to them, and said “Am I boring you?” We need more priests like that. When he was at our parish, he’d comment on the talking and give a mini-lecture, before excusing us from Mass. Is this a priest after the heart of God or what?! He got a lot of heck from the head pastor though, who then got a lot of heck from me. The good priest has since been transfered (his wishes) and we’re stuck with “Fr. Buddy.”
My brother, when only 17 (now 19 and a Navy man) would turn to the people and politely motion “sh” for a first offense, but if it continued he’d just say plainly “be quiet.” If they continued he’d turn and just look at them, and that usually worked.
I say Christian charity only goes so far…eventually charity will mean being harsh, and if that’s what it takes, so be it.

 

[LordHORSEY]

my son is a mass coordinator - some parishioners that sit way in the back of the church and in the cry room are always talking & carrying a conversation and even during the consecration in mass - the motto of the priest is let’s be a friendly church rather have people in church than to have them out in the streets or not in church - what is the use if we are not going to show reverence or respect in church to our Lord? Are ushers allowed to quiet people down and to ask parents to watch and have control of their kids during mass? do we need to ask our priest for permission to do this? Our priest does not want to step on any ones toes as what i was told when we had a parishioner dress very provocatively during mass one Sunday and i had asked him who’s responsibility it was to let her know that we have a certain dress code or advise her why she can’t dress that way:shrug:

I say bring back the VERGER.

The office of verger has its roots in the earliest days of the Church’s history. It shares certain similarities with the former minor orders of porter and acolyte. Generally speaking, vergers were responsible for the order and upkeep of the house of worship, including preparations for the liturgy,** the conduct of the laity**, and grave-digging.

The verger carries a verge, a baton like instrument that is use to correct this misconduct of the laity.

I’d like to volunteer at my parish, as the misconduct is rampant.

What ever happened to Holy Silence? ** It is even missing at Adoration! **

Robin Cooper
LordHORSEY@comcast.net

 

[latinmasslover]

What ever happened to Holy Silence? ** It is even missing at Adoration! **

Robin Cooper
LordHORSEY@comcast.net

Isn’t that awful During Adoration a few months ago there was a woman with a child who kept slamming the books down, a normal child old enough to know to stop the few times his mother told him to stop, and then continue. This went on for about 30-45 minutes. There was another woman in there also, who happened to glance at the mother as she got up (not a sneer) and the mother had the nerve to glare at her for being annoyed Good grief! What is the Catholic world coming to!

 

[peary]

my son is a mass coordinator - some parishioners that sit way in the back of the church and in the cry room are always talking & carrying a conversation and even during the consecration in mass - the motto of the priest is let’s be a friendly church rather have people in church than to have them out in the streets or not in church - what is the use if we are not going to show reverence or respect in church to our Lord? Are ushers allowed to quiet people down and to ask parents to watch and have control of their kids during mass? do we need to ask our priest for permission to do this? Our priest does not want to step on any ones toes as what i was told when we had a parishioner dress very provocatively during mass one Sunday and i had asked him who’s responsibility it was to let her know that we have a certain dress code or advise her why she can’t dress that way:shrug:

People just don’t shut their mouths anymore. protestants have more sacredness prior to their services than Catholics do prior to Mass…and DURING Mass.

 

[WonderfulLife]

It’s not like Church in my day when women wore dresses and parents made sure their children behaved and emphasized the solemnity of communicating with God in His place of worship.

I’m surprised what people feel comfortable wearing to a Church.

However, that said, personally I’d rather see them at Church, than not at Church. Occasional child sounds don’t bother me really. I think parents bringing their children to Church is important.

I think undue concern on what others do in Church is sweating the small stuff. I don’t pretend to know what kind of person someone is by how they dress in Church. For all I know, they spend all their time volunteering or helping others which is more important than meeting some social criteria, even if I don’t think it’s appropriate.

 

[LordHORSEY]

It’s not like Church in my day when women wore dresses and parents made sure their children behaved and emphasized the solemnity of communicating with God in His place of worship.

I’m surprised what people feel comfortable wearing to a Church.

However, that said, personally I’d rather see them at Church, than not at Church. Occasional child sounds don’t bother me really. I think parents bringing their children to Church is important.

I think undue concern on what others do in Church is sweating the small stuff. I don’t pretend to know what kind of person someone is by how they dress in Church. For all I know, they spend all their time volunteering or helping others which is more important than meeting some social criteria, even if I don’t think it’s appropriate.

SEE NEXT POST!

 

[LordHORSEY]

While children don’t often bother me, adults do. I agree with your response, but this discussion was centered on behavior, not lack of proper dress-no self-respect. I am continually amazed at the rude behavior of so many “worshipers”: before, during and after Mass. Many of these “faithful” carry on a conversation as though they were in a restaurant. At least a few attempt a lower volume and maybe an attempt at a whisper.

It has been suggested that I deal with this as a “small cross to bear”. I’m having a hard time with that. This behavior is not only disrespectful to others, but most importantly, disrespectful to Our Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament.

 

[WonderfulLife]

While children don’t often bother me, adults do. I agree with your response, but this discussion was centered on behavior, not lack of proper dress-no self-respect. I am continually amazed at the rude behavior of so many “worshipers”: before, during and after Mass. Many of these “faithful” carry on a conversation as though they were in a restaurant. At least a few attempt a lower volume and maybe an attempt at a whisper.

It has been suggested that I deal with this as a “small cross to bear”. I’m having a hard time with that. This behavior is not only disrespectful to others, but most importantly, disrespectful to Our Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament.

I agree that it’s disrespectful from adults and one would think they would know better. Sorry I got sidetracked on that.

 

[1ke]

Are ushers allowed to quiet people down and to ask parents to watch and have control of their kids during mass? do we need to ask our priest for permission to do this?

If someone sitting near you is disturbing you, you certainly can ask them to be quiet or give them a good stern look and a “shush”.

Someone acting in an official or quasi-official capacity such as an usher should inform the priest/ask the priest for permission **before **taking action during Mass. An usher running around during the Mass confronting people could be just as distracting if not moreso. What would he do if they refused to be quiet or quiet their children? Act like a bouncer? Nope, bad idea to get into a power struggle during the Mass. Better to say something after, in a polite way, if the priest agrees.

 

[zagjames]

For children, it is usually enough for me to catch their eye and place my finger across my lips. They respect the authority of the man with the long-handled basket, maybe they think I’m going to whack them with it if they don’t comply.