Parochial elementary school vs Public school with CCD

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mytwogirls

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Hi there,
I am new to the boards and looking for parents’ thoughts on the decision of sending children to parochial school vs public school with CCD. I am a product of 12 yrs parochial school (my parents have 12 yrs, yadda yadda) …I have also taught in public school so realize the resources are greater. I always thought I would send my kids to public elementary school , then catholic for high school. Now I am rethinking evrything! I am curious to hear from both sides but especially those parents who sent their kids to public school and CCD. Is once a week enough? Can a child form his faith based on CCD and what she learns at home? Or does a child need 5 days a week a religion class to teach the teachings of the catholic church. Is elementary school the time when kids form their religious values? Thanks for any help on this.
 
No matter what your choice is, as parents we are called to be the PRIMARY educators of the faith… so if we LIVE our faith as a family, then our kids will pick up on that.

And a lot of your decision needs to be based on your particular parish and public school situation… LOTS of variables there, so no one is going to have the perfect answer for you. It’ll take prayer no matter what.

I went to public elementary and high school and CCD.
We still live in the same public school district (FANTASTIC one, btw) and attend the same parish as when I was a child.
We’re sending our kids (so far - just started Kindergarten) to our parish school (k-8), but plan to send them to public high school.

My experience in learning the faith at CCD… I learned the basic textbook facts about our faith… but I learned how to LIVE and LOVE the faith by living it out in our daily lives and being taught by my parents. I do not expect my son’s faith to be totally dependent on what he learns in his Catholic school… I think that would be extremely naive. I know my husband and I, as parents, are the primary educators of the faith and we carry a big responsibility to live that out in our daily lives…

CCD or Catholic school shouldn’t make or break a child’s faith either way.

HTH!
 
HI and welcome!

It all depends on your Catholic School and your Public school. No matter what, your child will really learn her faith more from how it is lived at home than from anything learned in a school environment, IMHO.

Good luck whatever you decide! We had our oldest in Public school for Kindergarten and she went to PSR on Sundays that year. Then, we put her in Catholic school in 1st grade. Either way, we have found that she learns more about her faith from us (her family) and has that reinforced daily at school. It IS nice to have that daily reinforcement, as opposed to only weekly, though.
 
You and your spouse need to analyze the local public schools, the local Catholic schools, and the parish CCD program, based on what is first best for your child(ren), and secondly what you desire for your child(ren).

To help you out-My parents sat with me two weeks ago at breakfast and told me Catholic children belong in Catholic schools all the way through, K-12. However, they are in their 70s.

They also sent the seven of us to Catholic elementary school when they could, but sent us to a year of public elementary school when they finally bought a house. It was nice for me after the 8 weeks in our old neighborhood, because I was placed in a gifted class with double grades. However, to say I was miffed after 8 years in Catholic school, to be yanked in Eighth Grade, well, I have only gotten over it in the past couple years or so. They also sent my second younger brother to public school kindergarten.

I went to a magnet high school that was top of the line at the time and just admitting young women for the first time. The next sib was in the honors program at our neighborhood public high school. The money was going to Catholic elementary school for our younger sibs, and the house payment and fix-up.

Number Three went to the neighborhood public high school for a year, then to an all-girls’ school that was on the 3rd floor of a Catholic elementary school (**very **small high school). Number Four went to the neighborhood public high school for a couple years, then to an alternative high school cooperative. Number Five went to that small all-girls’ high school, then switched after a semester to a large Catholic all-girls’ high school. Number Six went, as far as I know, to a large all-boys’ Catholic school, a small co-ed Catholic school, and then the alternative high school cooperative. Number Seven went all the way through Catholic school, Preschool through Grade 12.

Now then- There is not a dummy in the lot of us. We are all well above average brainwise. So, as far as earning a living- no problem. There is a master carpenter with complete credentials, three BAs, 1 MA and 1/2, 2 AAs, and a bunch of various computer training certificates.

Along with Number Three & Number Four, I am a practicing Catholic. Number Two is Lutheran. Number Five wavers in and out. Number Six claims to be a druid when people pester him too much about religion, and Number Seven claims to be buddhist when people pester him too much about religion.

I sent my older kids to Catholic school when I could afford it, and home schooled when I could not. We tried public school, & hated it, mostly because of the districts we found ourselves. Neither child is much of a practicing Catholic.

Number Two of my sibs sent hers to Lutheran school & public school. They aren’t much for religion, but have fantastic grades. Number Three’s son went to Catholic grade school & goes to a very fine public high school. Number Four & Number Five sent/ send their kids to the same Catholic grade school, & same public high school. They have jobs, some completed college, & 4 out of the 5 grown ones still consider themselves practicing Catholics.

🤷 So you see- it’s what the kid needs, and the hand Life deals you.
 
Here is one more interesting tidbit about our family. My husband and I are “practicing” Catholics (goes to Church on Sundays and tithes): however, my husband does not follow the traditions of the Catholic Church (eats meat during Lent, doesn’t go to Reconciliation, you get my point) so that is why I feel like the teaching of the traditions will have to come from me. I wonder if I send my daughters to parochial school if it will be easier for me to teach the traditions of the Church, etc. I know that we are the primary educators. I just want reinforcement!
It is so hard and yes I have been praying on this. I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. I think it is time for my husband to step up to the plate and start becoming a role model of our faith for our daughters. It’s very tricky as he had fallen away from his fiath in his 20s but now he is 40! SO i feel like I am walking on eggshells - don’t want to send him over the edge…
 
Like others, it depends on so many factors.

The quality of: the local public school, the local Catholic school, the religious formation/catechism program at your parish, the individual child.

My oldest has some special needs that were not being addressed in Catholic school, and when we moved states and could no longer afford to send him to Catholic school (amazing how different tuition is from place to place) we sent him to public school. He started 2nd grade there and is now in 4th. He has not had any issues with learning his faith at all. But that is him. I don’t have to work very hard with him to motivate his learning about his faith. He received the religion award for 1st grade right before we moved out here, and continually amazes me with his knowledge, understanding and reverence. The public school has been a blessing on dealing with his needs in the academic environment. It is the best situation for us.

I am going to have to work a little harder with my other two school aged children. They learn though, by watching and listening, and its just something I need to be vigilant about.

A brand new Catholic K-8 school opened up 20 minutes from here (next closer one is 35 minutes) and I had considered sending them, but the cost ($962/month for 3 kids, plus registration, plus mandatory fundraisers, plus gas for 60 miles per day of driving) and the fact that my oldest and 3rd both have IEPs addressing needs that won’t be addressed at that school has settled the issue for me.

We have a very strict catechism program at our parish and the option we have chosen (public school and religious formation) is working for us. It might not work for someone else’s family though.

(plus it was immeasurably relieving to be out from under the constant requirements to fundraise). I think if we end up somewhere where the public school system is subpar, or even par, and I don’t feel comfortable sending one or all of my kids, I will consider homeschooling with a Catholic curriculum as an option equally weighted with the consideration of Catholic school. Plus, here Catholic high school is $13,000 per year so homeschooling with an accredited homeschool high school/program might also be on the table for high school.
 
mytwogirls said:
Here is one more interesting tidbit about our family. My husband and I are “practicing” Catholics (goes to Church on Sundays and tithes): however, my husband does not follow the traditions of the Catholic Church (eats meat during Lent, doesn’t go to Reconciliation, you get my point) so that is why I feel like the teaching of the traditions will have to come from me. I wonder if I send my daughters to parochial school if it will be easier for me to teach the traditions of the Church, etc. I know that we are the primary educators. I just want reinforcement!
It is so hard and yes I have been praying on this. I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. I think it is time for my husband to step up to the plate and start becoming a role model of our faith for our daughters. It’s very tricky as he had fallen away from his fiath in his 20s but now he is 40! SO i feel like I am walking on eggshells - don’t want to send him over the edge…
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Well, my dad not only did not practice the Faith until late in life, he did a lot to discourage practice. My mother was very big on it. Three out of his seven kids practice the Faith, one is Lutheran, one is off again/ on again Catholic, and two claim to be something else.

Out of his 13 grandchildren, 4 are still young enough to not really have any option as to whether or not they practice the Faith. 2 are Lutheran but not big on it. 4 practice. 3 do not.
 
I went to Catholic elementary school (k-6) and public jr high/high school (the Catholic school only went to grade 6). Our Catholic school was not the most orthodox (sadly still isn’t) but compared to our religious education program (CCD) it was fabulous. I was very disappointed when I hit 7th grade and relized how little my classmates (those who had been going to CCD for 6 years) knew. I also knew more than my teachers :(. Even the DRE knew very little and was surprised at the knowledge that those of us who went to the the Academy had. Going to Catholic school reinfoced what my parents were teaching at home. I really felt that something important was missing. I felt like I was being held back because my parents took their responsibility of being the primary educator seriously. This lack of education/support from the RE program is what encouraged me to get a degree in Religious Education–to hopefully prevent others from having this experience.

I have taught in a Catholic school and now in a public school. I really feel that in the Catholic school studnts learn so much more about how to treat people with respect etc. because the school can teach about Jesus and reinforce what the parents are teaching at home on a daily basis. I am also teaching CCD at my parish and notice how little the students know and practice their faith because it isn’t part of their every day life.
 
mytwo,
i’ve been a catechist for most of the last 20 years and am currently working as a director of a parish program.

if you need catholic identity and practice reinforcement because there is not enough at home, then send your kids to catholic school*** IF ***the school of choice, in fact, practices catholic observance.

if not, find a nearby religious order (you’d be surprised to learn who’s within driving distance) ask them to mentor your family in faith observances.

before we had a strong catholic community complete with catholic observance, God gave to our family a community of franciscans who mentored all of us in catholic practice and helped us regain and embrace a strong catholic identity.
 
mytwogirls said:
Hi their kids to public school and CCD. Is once a week enough? Can a child form his faith based on CCD and what she learns at home? Or does a child need 5 days a week a religion class to teach the teachings of the catholic church. Is elementary school the time when kids form their religious values? Thanks for any help on this.
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religious values are formed from the child’s earliest days, even before he can speak and reason, and begin with his experience of love from his parents. For any child, no matter where he attends school or what kind of formal religious education he has in an academic setting, 90% of his faith formation happens at home. If it is not happening at home, effect of parochial school or CCD will be minimal at best.

the choice of school options for your family depends entirely on the quality of choices facing you, the academic aspect of course, and the moral climate, values and culture of the school. Parish sponsorship is not a guarantee of either good academics or good moral values and good Christian formation, unfortunately. and the viability of home-schooling as an option should also be considered.
 
Well, the short answer is that once a week is definately not enough. 😉 I teach CCE and many of those kids have religion only for the hour they are with me; most don’t even attend Mass. I feel bad for the kids who are really learning the faith at home since we spend most of our class time covering very rudimentary material. Unless your local parish is very strict about kids coming every year, this is what your kids will be getting. It does reinforce what they learn at home and as they get older it is good to hear the consistent message coming from someone other than mom or dad. 😉 But they are unlikely to learn anything new.

Catholic school serves a completely different purpose, in my opinion. My kids use the same text many CCE programs use (with more reinforcement) for Religion class. But the really “learning” happens during the rest of the day/week. The morning and afternoon prayer, grace and the Angelus before lunch, weekly Mass, prayer intentions, two meditation gardens to spend time in, prayer corners in every room, etc. This really teaches a lesson to kids about faith as part of life rather than just a class. All the teachers are very faithful too and interject real life Catholicism into other classes.

Sadly, this isn’t the way it is in all Catholic schools but if you find one that operates like this and it affordable looks into it seriously.
 
From my experience, in my parish…

As far as knowledge of the faith…

The homeschool kids are the most educated.

The parochial kids are next.

And the CCD kids are the least well educated.

I’ve taught 3rd and 7th grade ccd, and I’ve been continually shocked by the little the kids are able to learn in ccd. I do believe it’s a matter of the time commitment.

In the parish I grew up in, none of the kids knew anything…the school and the parish programs were dismal.

It is entirely doable to teach your kids yourself their faith. It’s just harder to get to it when they have school, homework, activities. You have to be **really committed **to doing it on a regular basis.

My dh isn’t Catholic. So, I make a point to be very, very Catholic in our activities and in our curricula (we homeschool). The kids all participate in Catholic youth programs of one sort or another. And, we volunteer and attend different liturgies/celebrations at our parish as much as we can do without sacrificing our family life.

You’ll just have to look at your parish school to see how Catholic it really is. Our parish is very good.

But, in several neighboring parishes, I see no value in the parochial education versus the public schools. In fact, I think it can be harmful if heresy is taught or even if the faith is taught in an indifferent fashion.
 
mmt4 said:
… Plus, here Catholic high school is $13,000 per year so homeschooling with an accredited homeschool high school/program might also be on the table for high school.
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Our Seton High School homeschool program cost under $800. It’s very Catholic, rigorous, and does have a special education department that helps mom and dad to adapt the work to fit the kid. 🙂
 
leonie said:
From my experience, in my parish…

As far as knowledge of the faith…

The homeschool kids are the most educated.

The parochial kids are next.

And the CCD kids are the least well educated.
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Ok, it’s probably better not to make such sweeping generalizations. 🙂 I went to CCD & public school and I knew much more about the faith than many of my Catholic friends who were home-schooled or who went to Catholic school. However, I think it’s important to state that CCD (of even a Catholic K-12 education) are not enough. Parents are the most important educators! My parents lived out their faith and were very involved in the church, continually striving to learn more and grow deeper in their faith. Praying everyday (we always make a point to go around the dinner table with our intentions) and reading the Bible as a family, putting God first, family second and everything else third, this is how my parents formed my siblings in our faith.

I think that you can’t count on CCD or Catholic schools to form your children. They are both important, but the parents must be the primary educators.
 
leonie said:
Our Seton High School homeschool program cost under $800. It’s very Catholic, rigorous, and does have a special education department that helps mom and dad to adapt the work to fit the kid. 🙂
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Thanks for the info. I will place it in the memory vault. As Catholic high school is just too expensive here.

My dh’s high school just sent an appeal letter and they stated that their cost per pupil is $6700 and the tuition is about $4500. Man, I wish we had those kinds of prices here. What is odd is that his HS is in the Northeast US (which is not a cheap place to live) and we live in New Mexico (which is supposed to be cheap but is not).
 
mmt4 said:
Thanks for the info. I will place it in the memory vault. As Catholic high school is just too expensive here.

My dh’s high school just sent an appeal letter and they stated that their cost per pupil is $6700 and the tuition is about $4500. Man, I wish we had those kinds of prices here. What is odd is that his HS is in the Northeast US (which is not a cheap place to live) and we live in New Mexico (which is supposed to be cheap but is not).
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I have found a similar discrepancy. We have three HS choices within driving distance for my kids. None are parish based. The cheapest is about $9000 per year, the most expensive $13,000. My kids are still in elementary and my sister had her daughter in Catholic school back east. Her tuition was about half of mine. Part of that, I think is diocisan support. We get not one cent from the diocese. They do provide some teacher training but only provide direct support to the inner city schools in our diocese.

Sorry, I hope I haven’t digressed too much. :o
 
Beware of what your public schools are teaching regarding moral and ethical issues in all subject areas, not just sex ed. My values are being undermined by my child’s middle school by exposing her to topics I find highly age inappropriate in the content areas of her education. Under the guise of writing a persuasive essay, she was assigned the task of explainng why Maya Angelou should be Woman of the Year…in the 6th grade. Her research exposed her to issues of rape, (with some graphic description; Maya Angelou was raped by her mother’s lover at the age of 8), graphic detail of heroine injection, lesbianism as an option of one feel’s unattractive as a female, domestic violence (Maya Angelou was abused by lovers, stabbed by a step-mother), and prostitution (Maya Angelou was a madame and was pimped out by a lover). Mind you, all this lovely information was contained on the public school library shelves in biographies that some librarian somewhere thought was middle school appropriate. I did not find out about the assignment until after my daughter had already done most of her research. Rest assured we changed her topic the moment I discovered what was going on. However, the public school system does not care one whit about my family and our values. They fully plan to teach what they want to my child.

Now, in 7th grade, I discovered today that in the context of the election, my child researched the issue of gay marriage on a website which presented her with arguements as to why folks think it is OK everytime she “voted” against it in a “youdecide” forum. Another discussion with the teacher led nowhere. Patronizing but no problem solving. I merely requested that before such controversial issues are introduced to the children in class, that we parents might receive a heads up so as to address the issues with our children in our own way before they are addressed in class. I am the only parent the teacher has heard from. Same as last year.

If you choose public education, ask questions, know what your child will be studying ahead of time, get curriculum details, discuss your areas of concern with each and every teacher before the school year starts, stay informed, and go to meet with the teacher/principle/counselors EVERY time they over step their bounds and try to undermine your parental authority. And don’t have any qualms about opting your child out of programs such a sex ed. Most of all, please speak up. These public schools are our public schools. Why does it seem they are sensitive to everyone elses sensibilities but mine?
 
This is only my opinion. My son went to Catholic School until 7th grade. His 8th grade year, I pulled him and put him in a public school. I’m glad I did. Though the teachers were fabulous at the Catholic School, they were almost to good to my child. If he were absent, they told him what he needed to do to get caught up. In a public school, it’s up to you to hound the teacher and find out what you missed. He did have to attend CCD during his 8th grade year and was quite bored. Would come home and tell me, “Can you believe they didn’t know …?” So, I’m glad I did it the way I did. He learned great study skills from the Catholic School, he knows how to pray, he knows the bible. Another nice thing, he’s not one to care and stay up to the fashion, though, he’s popular I suppose. I do think that starting them out in a Catholic School helps them to build their own character, they aren’t as pushed into being something they aren’t.
You may be wondering why we took him out of a Catholic School. I knew that I couldn’t affort to sent him the a Catholic High School. And I wanted him to get over the culture shock. There’s a huge difference from attending a school with 14 in your class as compared to 200 and some. So, 8th grade, I figured he still came home and talked to his dad and I, not that he doesn’t now. But it’s certainly different. High School kids tend to keep a bit more to themselves, at least in my experience. And remembering what I was like as a kid.
 
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