Part 2: Vocations to love & relationship for faithful LGBT Christians

  • Thread starter Thread starter catholic1seeks
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Good questions!

This isn’t what you are asking, but it’s what I first thought you were going to ask when I read the first two sentences. And so I’ll mention it anyway because I think it’s worth saying…

Besides the few bad nuts, and the general human inclination to sex, I wonder if those who feel called to the (Roman) Catholic priesthood are more easily able to get give up sex. I’m not going to call it an “asexual” personality, but what I mean is, I wonder if many men go into the priesthood without much of battle between having to choose between “sex or priesthood” or “marriage or priesthood”. For some, it may be a given, thanks to their personality or whatever.

And so the parallelism on this point, at least, is not exactly the same for all SSA/LGBT people. Sure, some SSA people may be able to give up the human call to sex/marriage for some greater good. I have not felt this strong call in my life, though.
 
Last edited:
There really isn’t a paralellism here. You are speculating that those (or many of those) might have a lower sex drive and using that speculation as a basis for further argument. I wonder how one might evidence grounds for your speculation?
I have only anecdotal evidence, but I have heard that the struggle to be chaste in relation to one’s vocation to the priesthood does not disappear once the single man becomes a priest.
 
At least Father had a choice at some point in his life between not being a priest and therefore being able to marry and have sex and being a priest and therefore being required to be celibate for life. It was nice for him that he had a choice, even though he admits how difficult it is. And most priests, I would suppose, have a deeper spiritual life than most people which helps them to persevere in their celibacy.

Gay people, on the other hand, are not given a choice if they want to adhere to Catholic teaching. For most of them, they are being told that they are required to be celibate for life without having had a choice to chose something different. And if they don’t have an especially deep spiritual life to turn to for consolation, remaining celibate for life might be more than some people can manage.
 
Last edited:
I think that is a bit flippant even in the context you gave but it’s quite a bit different when celibacy is not chosen and one desires a partner, a family. You wouldn’t be so flip if a couple was dealing with infertility, or if it was secondary infertility you wouldn’t say, “At least you have the one kid!” An infertile couple desiring children is not that different from a person called to marriage who is ready hasn’t met the one. That need is in all of us and isn’t diminished by same sex attraction.
I have only anecdotal evidence, but I have heard that the struggle to be chaste in relation to one’s vocation to the priesthood does not disappear once the single man becomes a priest.
But Paul did say that it was better to marry than to burn. So it might be a bit easier for them.
 
At least Father had a choice at some point in his life between not being a priest and therefore being able to marry and have sex
Everyone has a choice but not all choices are in line with our faith. The sacrament of confession is available for those who repent choices which are not aligned with our faith.
 
Last edited:
Perhaps not. But it does seem flippant to one who is struggling, including that husband. I don’t feel confident going to confession to a priest who would say something like that, in the moment or later. One should know one’s audience, both in the confessional and when speaking to a group; perhaps the priest did, but then it’s you who is not reading the room and don’t realize that comments like that aren’t helpful.
 
Maybe the priest did know his audience, the couple he was counseling and the members of his parish.

We can’t all give up mentioning things or kidding about things just because someone who hears might be suffering. We would be unable to joke about mothers, because someone might be missing their mother. No silliness about lawyers, because someone might be being sued.

Priests make an enormous sacrifice in giving up all aspects of marital comfort; the husband-to-be was complaining about giving up one aspect for 1/4 of the time when the couple discerned it was not a good time to conceive!

Yeah, that priest said the right thing. The reality is that by entering into marriage, the man is finally permitted to engage in the marital act. The man apparently has a warped view if sexuality! No wondering he’s suffering over the idea of exercising a little bit of self-discipline!
 
Last edited:
The poster quoted the husband as saying, that’s not going to be easy. Saying he has a warped view of sexuality is a giant leap.
Yeah, that priest said the right thing. The reality is that by entering into
Yeah, yeah, yeah…not even close to the point of the thread. But it’s easier to go off topic than to address the topic or how the comment relates to the topic.
 
The priest gave the man some perspective.

Seems to me that part of the thread had already gone off-topic by criticizing the priest.
 
Gay people are not the only people in the world called to celibacy. Everyone who is not married is called to celibacy, and no one can know they will marry.

Many people are quite sure they will never have that chance; they may be disabled in one way or another, or they may see that the likelihood is low for economic reasons or something.

Gay people are not the only people in the world who can not morally get what they want.

This life is not supposed to be a valley of fulfilled desires but a valley of tears. When we suffer, we are living as Christ lived for us. Do you think He suffered and died for us so we could have materially luxurious lives? No! He did so for our eternal salvation. Our small sufferings can be like gifts to him.

We should learn to support people in their suffering, not try to figure out how to wiggle out of it.
 
Everyone who is not married is called to celibacy, and no one can know they will marry.
Celibacy is the state of being unmarried; I think you mean constinance.

And for the rest witch I can’t quote right now. That’s kind of what this thread is about. Kind of. We’re trying to find something beyond suffering though. Maybe read the OP. Then read it again, and again until you read what he’s actually asking and not a pat answer.
 
Last edited:
  1. Look up celibacy.
  2. I was responding to a particular post within the thread.
 
Because you do not seem to know what it means.

Wow, seems to me in your earlier criticism of what a priest had said that you veered off-topic yourself.

There are side-conversations on threads…
 
Because you do not seem to know what it means.
I don’t think you know what it means. If a married couple is not having relations they aren’t celibate they are being continent. There are married priests, they are not celibate and usually aren’t called to be continent ( some say they were in the early Church.)
 
From Wikipedia: “Richard Sipe, while focusing on the topic of celibacy in Catholicism, states that ‘the most commonly assumed definition of celibate is simply an unmarried or single person, and celibacy is perceived as synonymous with sexual abstinence or restraint.’”

The continent married couple are not celibate because they are still married; the sexually active single person is not celibate because of the sexual activity.
 
There is no path for them other than celibacy. But this simply DOES not address their questions and needs: Tell a 20-year-old gay kid that he can’t love the man he’s fallen in love with; he can’t ever act out on his sexual desires; he can never get married; and see how much he’ll be open to Catholicism. If that’s all you got, good luck.
Yeah but unfortunately that is the case. At the end of the day, the Church’s job is to teach the truth and lead people to heaven. God gave us free will so that we can freely choose Him. The flip side is that we can also reject Him and his commandments.
If the gay person is committed to living the faith then there should be not much issue. They know what’s required and they have the choice. There are many ways that they can serve in the church and try to cultivate intimate friendships with fellow Catholics.
However the simple fact is that they can’t indulge their sexual desires.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top