Participating in a non catholic wedding

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David98

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Hi all,

I am wondering if it is acceptable/not sinful to be a groomsman in a non catholic wedding? What if one of the people getting married was a Catholic?

Thank you!
 
I’ve seen countless “civil marriages” that being “non sacramental” turned out to be “the real thing” in the lives of the spouses.

Marriages that lasted a lifetime and had love and were fruitful.

So, personally, experience has taught me to take it a little bit easier by not considering others marriages as “lesser”. Time will tell…And it is their marriage…Who’s to say they won’t marry in the church decades from now?
 
If a Catholic doesn’t follow the marriage rules of the Catholic Church then I wouldn’t attend the ceremony or the reception (because that’s the “fun” part and it looks hypocritical to attend this and not the ceremony which is boring) If you feel the need to show love I would suggest finding an alternative way to do so. Maybe inviting them to dinner as friends or something.
 
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VanitasVanitatum said:
it looks hypocritical
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Hypocritical is not being happy for them and wanting to impose rules on them. All you have to do is mention there are advantages to a sacramental marriage, and your work is done. If they don’t understand, remind them sometime latter and keep reminding them (perhaps they’ll like the idea eventually).

I also consider it hypocritical to not take their personal moment of pilgrimage into account.

And as someone said before @David98, please do help yourself “liberally” at the cocktail.
 
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adgloriam said:
Hypocritical is not being happy for them and wanting to impose rules on them
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No it isn’t. While I’d usually be apathetic, I don’t impose rules, though I would pray for them if I remember.
 
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VanitasVanitatum said:
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adgloriam:
Hypocritical is not being happy for them and wanting to impose rules on them
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No it isn’t. While I’d usually be apathetic, I don’t impose rules, though I would pray for them if I remember.
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I was actually considering going to Nepal and marrying a Hindu girl. The ceremony requires a sort of astrologist and sitting before a camp fire under a banana tree (the banana tree seems to be very important). And off course, renting a bus and filling it with drunken Nepali extended family members. Then I’d sit at the reception in a funny high hat and fancy clothes receiving compliments I wouldn’t understand.

If all went well, after approximately 9 months I’d be a father…What’s wrong with that??

Ohhh, and the last girl I met said she thinks the “love chapel Vegas” marriages with only the spouses present are really romantic…Looking her in the eyes, I honestly could not differ…!!! 😀

@dochawk the Nevada “marriage” preceding the “marriage” is looking better than ever. Once in my life I might not think about anything and just go with the flow (if she manages to take me that far)…
 
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If it’s two non-Catholics or a Catholic and non-Catholic and the Catholic has permission…it is perfectly acceptable.

If the Catholic doesn’t have the proper permission I know some people that wouldn’t…but a lot more that would.

My wife’s entire family was “in” their sister’s wedding even though it was a Lutheran ceremony. The same will be for their brother next month in their non-denominational ceremony.

I guess is it worth it to you to possibly lose a friend over?
 
Consider that you may not have the full details of the situation. For two non-Catholics, there’s no issue here at all. For a Catholic, a dispensation may be granted but usually not advertised beyond the Catholic and his/her priest.
 
adgloriam said:
@dochawk the Nevada “marriage” preceding the “marriage” is looking better than ever. Once in my life I might not think about anything and just go with the flow (if she manages to take me that far)…
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Do note that as of a couple of years ago, the license bureaus closes at night . . .

:crazy_face:🤣😱
 
dochawk said:
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adgloriam:
@dochawk the Nevada “marriage” preceding the “marriage” is looking better than ever. Once in my life I might not think about anything and just go with the flow (if she manages to take me that far)…
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Do note that as of a couple of years ago, the license bureaus closes at night . . .

:crazy_face:🤣😱
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Please tell me that the only thing required is a valid passport !!..
 
TC3033 said:
If the Catholic doesn’t have the proper permission I know some people that wouldn’t…but a lot more that would.
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Please enlighten me, I went to a marriage where they were both catholic, apparently had married civilly, were already divorced and married several times over, still in their early 20’s, and after the ceremony I was in the sacristy and the priest (whom I know) took the first look at the papers commenting:“Ohh, they had already married, it’s one of those marriages…”

I honestly have my doubts, at this point in my life, of requesting anything from the church…Last few times I tried things didn’t really go well. So I’m ready to give up on that approach.
 
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I honestly think this is a situation of individual conscience. A lot depends on who the person is and what the exact situation is. If it’s your sibling or your BFF, it’s pretty hard to say no to being in the wedding, and I wouldn’t do it unless I really strongly disapproved of the marriage. Also in most cases I simply don’t know every fact about at least one of the people entering the marriage, like the person who’s my BFF’s significant other.

Some years ago I was the matron of honor for my friend who was Jewish and marrying a guy who was Christian and may have been lapsed Catholic, IDK and it wasn’t my business to ask. Neither had been married before but they had been living together for quite a while and given the past pretty wild life they had been living before finding each other, I was frankly just glad to see them settling down and tying the knot as I thought it was a good step for them (they’re still married, too). My main reason for being there was to support my friend. The ceremony was non-denominational AFAIK, it was in Vegas. Now if it had been some situation where one of them had ditched a spouse and/or kids to remarry, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to be part of that. I’m sure there are other Catholics who wouldn’t have felt comfortable at the wedding at all. So I really think it’s an individual decision.
 
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David98 said:
I am wondering if it is acceptable/not sinful to be a groomsman in a non catholic wedding?
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The Church does not prohibit us from standing witness to non-Catholic marriages.
David98 said:
What if one of the people getting married was a Catholic?
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Catholics can receive a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic ceremony. If so, it is perfectly fine to stand as a witness.

If you are aware of circumstances that indicate the Catholic is marrying outside Catholic form without a dispensation, you should refrain from standing as witness.
 
I’m not sure if I understand you or not. If a Cqtholic and NC get married in a NC ceremony the Catgolic is supposed to get a dispensation from form.

I’ve heard/know of some Catholics that wouldn’t attend this wedding because, to the Catholic Church, it’s invalid. I think my wife’s grandparents skipped on of their daughters’ weddings because of this.

Personally. I know a lot more that would attend in this situation though. We all stood in my sister in law’s Lutheran wedding and will all be at my brother in law’s non-denominational wedding.

As far as obtaining the permission goes…I’m not sure how difficult that is. My wife needed a dispensation to marry me and I don’t think it was all that tough to get. I think we had a harder time getting a priest/church that wanted to do it.
 
If you are close enough to be asked to be in the wedding party, you likely know that the Catholic person has not received permission to marry, but, it is worth asking them. Heck, they may not know they can validly marry in a different venue with the Church’s blessing.

Point out http://www.foryourmarriage.org/

If the person is set on defying the Church, this is something to talk to your priest about.

If it meant damage to the relationship, I would attend a wedding that is known to be invalid. I would not participate in the wedding party, if this were my child I would not pay for such a wedding. My child would not ask me to, we have had this discussion since they were a kid, all the cards are on the table.
 
Assuming these ladies were free to marry:

The thing is, the Bishop in Nepal is very accustomed to granting permission for mixed Hindu/Christian marriages. You would have done the paperwork and entered an absolutely valid, non Sacramental, marriage.

Same for the Vegas chapel. You would fill out paperwork that you are marrying a non-Catholic in an underwater Elvis chapel. The Diocese would grant you the permission.

Mixed marriages in settings outside the Church happen all the time, it is just a matter of the Catholic doing what Catholics are required to do.
 
adgloriam said:
took the first look at the papers commenting:“Ohh, they had already married, it’s one of those marriages…”
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Sounds like a convalidation. Sometimes the priest allows the office to do all of the paperwork, so, that is not completely off the wall.
 
Just wanted to say, “Thank you, Mom.” And dad, but he wasn’t practicing at the time.

I was civilly married, then had our married convalidated. We were civilly married for almost 4 years, had a child, then was married in the Church when our son was 7.

We celebrate 2 different anniversaries.

My parents, without us asking, paid for the first wedding. The second was paid for by us.

And my mom, a practicing Catholic, attended both.

Oh, and this year, we will have been dating for 30 years, married civilly for 28 years and married in the Church 17 years.
 
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