Participating in a non catholic wedding

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Vanitas, I agree with you. for whatever reason, Catholics forget that there isn’t just the feelings of the family to consider, if they get married outside of the church. The principles of the faith guide people to decide whether to attend or not.
 
I was raised Catholic. I married my husband over 30 years ago in a secular wedding. My parents refused to come, even though I explained to them I was agnostic. So sad to watch them in their golden years with that regret. Meanwhile, other siblings who married in the Church have long since divorced.

I encourage anyone who is making this decision, as a participant, to consider that God gave us our close family and friends for a reason. I don’t think it pleases Him to see those bonds destroyed over something like that.
 
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Attending these ceremonies is like saying it’s okay to sin, or go ahead and commit a mortal sin. Like today’s laws decriminalizing marijuana. It’s legalizing sin.
 
Well relationships are two-way streets. I hardly expect anyone to consider my preferences when they are planning their wedding to someone else.

If you are a friend or family member, I guess you need to decide how much you want to put into the relationship. How much sacrifice of your own comfort you are willing to make. How much the relationship is worth. It may be a different answer, depending on the people invovled.

I try to think about others, and let them worry about how much they are going to think about me.
 
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Of course not. You aren’t able to.

But we aren’t really discussing “forcing”. We are discussing whether to accept the choices others make and participate in their weddings.
 
Well I can only speak from personal experience on this. I have never accepted my parents’ choices to not attend my wedding. Somehow, I found the strength to forgive them.

They made my wedding about them, when it was about me and my husband. It was selfish of them. But we all do the best we know how to do (I hope), and at the time they thought that was correct. When my child got married, wild horses wouldn’t have kept me away, regardless of what kind of wedding they chose.

There were a few years after I married that my parents and I were “cordial”, at best. At the end of the day, they put their religion before their child, and I don’t understand how that can be justified. That kind of thing damages relationships, not because anyone wants it to be that way, but because that is the way it is. They had their wedding, exactly as they wanted it. It wasn’t for them to have my wedding, too.
 
For me and for them. For our relationship. Love goes both ways. It would have been nice to have a little come my way, considering the amount I had sent their way over the years. A wedding is quite possibly the most important day in a person’s life. It would be nice if close friends and relatives would act like they recognize that fact.

I don’t think we have the same understanding of intimate relationships, so I will bow out now.
 
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QwertyGirl said:
I don’t think we have the same understanding of intimate relationships, so I will bow out now.
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I’m with you on this @QwertyGirl and I think Vanitates’s (meaning vanity btw) way of calling others into question borders disrespect (Because throwing question marks around is easy. As is pressuring others into having to justify themselves - through subtle “ad hominem attacks” unassumingly entangled in their questions, aiming to provoke. Answering tough question the right way is not. You’ll notice how fast those with the explained vices fail at it 😀 QED )…

P.S. You’ll actually notice some would consider the repeated behavior to constitute material harassment (which is against TOS btw.)
 
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