Participating in a non catholic wedding

  • Thread starter Thread starter David98
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
adgloriam said:
(Because throwing question marks around is easy. As is pressuring others into having to justify themselves. Answering tough question the right way is not. You’ll notice how fast those with the explained vices fail at it 😀 QED )
Click to expand...
This type of topic has a lot of potential for debate. It’s hard to draw the line when an experience becomes entangled.
 
I really think a situation of parental disapproval with a child marrying outside the Church and leaving the Church is way beyond somebody being asked to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman for their friend or even their relative.

Parents, kids and the Church belong in a category of their own, that’s a bit beyond the original query about can I be a groomsman in a non-Catholic wedding. Presumably the OP is not talking about his son’s wedding or his father’s wedding.

Most people who are friends with you are not on the level of depth as a parent-child relationship. Most friendships are not lifelong either. Friends might be expected to understand if another friend did not feel comfortable attending a wedding for any number of reasons. If they didn’t understand then a person is not necessarily expected to be as concerned about their feelings as he would about his child’s feelings or his parent’s feelings.
 
Last edited:
I agree. It definitely depends on the degree of relationship. Sometimes friends are closer than family, though.
 
VanitasVanitatum said:
This type of topic has a lot of potential for debate. It’s hard to draw the line when an experience becomes entangled.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it turns into being all about whosever experiences are being described and the emotions they felt. Which might be 1000 percent different from the situation somebody else is having with a friend.
 
In general, I don’t think there’d be any issue–whatever other sacraments Protestant churches lack, valid matrimony isn’t one of them. However … one of the parties being Catholic complicates the issue quite a bit. In this case, I think you’d do best to ask a reliable priest about it; this seems like too complicated a matter to entrust to an internet forum.
 
According to the Catholic Church there is a difference between a sacramental marriage and natural marriage.

Two Catholics marrying one another is a sacramental marriage.

The Catholic Church sees marriage between a woman and a man, who are validly baptised, as a sacramental marriage even if they were married in a protestant denomination.

If only one of the spouses is baptised it is a natural marriage just like two buddhists are in a natural marriage.

A natural marriage will automatically become a sacramental marriage when both spouses are validly baptised.

Being free of any impediments (not yet reached legal age, mental impairment or obstacles like previous marriage not annulled) to marry, freely given consent to marry, a woman and a man, marrying until one of the spouses dies and being open to having children (if the couple are in child-bearing age) are the prerequisites for any marriage according to the Catholic Church. A dispensation is needed for the Catholic to marry a non Catholic and/or in a non Catholic ceremony.

The big problem is that a lot of Catholics are not aware of the requirements and then there are those that do not want to follow them… If Catholics can just remember that when they are thinking about getting married and starting a family, that they should begin with contacting their Catholic parish. A lot of the problems people end up in could easily have been avoided.
 
QwertyGirl said:
At the end of the day, they put their religion before their child, and I don’t understand how that can be justified.
Click to expand...
The bible explicitly tells us that God must cone first.

I understand that you could not in good conscience enter a valid marriage. However your parents, in good conscience, could not attend an invalid one.

It’s why I support bringing back formal defection or something like it to exempt a person from canon law.

I also think the marriage laws should be consistint. Either a Catholic should be able to marry outside the Church or no marriage outside the Church should be recognized.
 
Last edited:
thistle said:
God comes before everyone!
Click to expand...
This is true.

I would not have expected my parents to attend my wedding if I had married outside the Church. I just can’t picture myself telling them I was going to do such a thing.

Then again, marrying outside the Church is something I would not do unless possibly there was an extreme circumstance like we were all fleeing a war/ famine and I had to marry outside the Church to get out of the country, etc. It would be like some guy asking me to renounce my US citizenship in the name of love.
 
Last edited:
Marrying in the Catholic Church requires promises that people who don’t believe, cannot make in good conscience. My parents actually attempted to convince me to do so anyway. I know plenty of people who did just that, which is, I believe, a sacrilege. In fact, I would say the people in the last 20 years who I know (plenty) who have married in the Catholic church did so to satisfy family members. They had no intention of living a “Catholic married life” and all that entails. They don’t hide that fact, either.
 
Last edited:
In that case, they have problems that go beyond a wedding. However, there is always a possibility that, as we see over and over on these forums, the Holy Spirit will call them to revert, and having a Catholic marriage, even if not the greatest or most perfect morally, is better than compounding sin by adding a problematic marriage to your life issues.
 
He, maybe…that definitely has not been our experience, so I don’t know that I could say it’s been a general rule.

The only issues that we have, when it comes to religion, is that it seems my “ilk” isn’t always welcome at her church. Her priest like to take jobs at NC’s once in a while (sometimes “jokingly”, other times not) and that has really, really bugged both of us.

OP, like I said upthread, I’ve seen this situation before and the time the family member sat out the wedding it really hurt the relationship. After that I saw those same family members at other non-Catholic marriages and I would expect them at the next one this summer. I don’t think they want to hurt relationships anymore…my .02.

I wouldn’t sit it out and I know the Catholic family I married into haven’t “sat out” at least two.
 
Last edited:
TC3033 said:
OP, like I said upthread, I’ve seen this situation before and the time the family member sat out the wedding it really hurt the relationship.
Click to expand...
I’ve been the one to sit it out and I still have a good relationship with the couple.
 
OK, looks like we’ve had opposite experiences. There was always noticable tension to the point I asked my wife what the deal was…that was the deal.
 
TC3033 said:
OK, looks like we’ve had opposite experiences.
Click to expand...
I understand why it would upset someone. I’m glad I do still have a good relationship with the couple.

Just to add it’s not easy to do. I wanted to be at my loved ones wedding. If they convalidate I will be thrilled

I sent a text wishing them every happiness on the day. I suspect that helped preserve the relationship. Obviously not a guarentee.
 
Yes, it’ not like because they’re getting married "outside of the church-"at least one Catholic-that you never want to see them again. You only are saying, it’s against your Catholic beliefs to attend their ceremony.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top