Partner Question

[iseekanswers]

Hello all!

I’m in a bit of a weird situation, completely of my own doing. I was raised Southern Baptist. For about 3 years, due to a variety of circumstances, I declared myself an atheist/agnostic. Recently, as of August, I have started attending church again, and attended a Catholic Mass for the first time today. It was an extremely fulfilling experience, and I’m looking forward to repeating it and potentially starting an RCIA track.

Here’s the main issue - when I did temporarily leave my faith, I entered a relationship and started living with my significant other. We have been together for about 2 years now, and I really care about him. He declares himself nonreligious, though he is not averse to the idea of attending church. However, he has specifically told me, after one lackluster visit to a Catholic church when he was younger, he does not really want to attend Mass.

I feel a little bit stuck right now. One one side, I really love this guy and we want to get married one day. But, if we were to get married, would we be able to get married in the Catholic Church? And what am I to do about this time now (since, if I do decide to move to a separate living situation, we can’t get out of the lease for a few months)?

Any suggestions/(name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all very much for your time and I hope that you have a wonderful day!

 

[Marocchino]

Dear friend,

Yes, you would be able to get married in a Catholic Church provided that the man vows to allow you to raise the children as Catholics.

Regarding your living situation, a priest told my class the other day that anyone who intends to get married in the Catholic Church and is cohabiting must live apart from their partner at least 6 months before they are permitted to be married in the Church.

As someone who is currently going through a similar situation, I empathize with you and will pray three Hail Marys for your intentions aftrer the posting of this message. Remember that God is more important than any human being and that sometimes He calls us to make sacrifices for His sake.

Good luck with your situation.

 

[iseekanswers]

Dear friend,

Yes, you would be able to get married in a Catholic Church provided that the man vows to allow you to raise the children as Catholics.

Regarding your living situation, a priest told my class the other day that anyone who intends to get married in the Catholic Church and is cohabiting must live apart from their partner at least 6 months before they are permitted to be married in the Church.

As someone who is currently going through a similar situation, I empathize with you and will pray three Hail Marys for your intentions aftrer the posting of this message. Remember that God is more important than any human being and that sometimes He calls us to make sacrifices for His sake.

Good luck with your situation.

Thank you so much for your reply! I am going to be thinking a lot about this decision, reminding myself that God comes before everyone else.

I hope you have a wonderful week!

 

[Student09]

I was also living with someone when I first became interested in the Church and due to financial difficulties it was tricky to get out of that situation, but eventually we did, and I ended up realizing that I should not be marrying him. I don’t know if I would have realized that if we had kept living together, as it is much harder to discern marriage when you are depending so much on the other person, as you must be when you are living together. There are good reasons, practical as well as spiritual, for not cohabitating.

Of course, I do not mean to say your relationship will not work out. But put God first, and if it is His will, then it will work out; He will take care of your partner’s religious issues, and your relationship will grow stronger for living apart. If not, you will be so grateful not to have made that mistake. God wants what is best for us, and He knows what is best for us better than we do. Keep seeking Him and praying and all will be well. May He bless you richly! I will say some prayers for you and for your partner.