Past Affair

[Kelfa28]

There is almost always a risk of sexually transmitted disease when engaging in sexual activity with multiple partners.

This.

It can take up to two weeks or more to come up with test results for STDs like HIV and herpes.

You are risking your spouse’s health every single time you have intercourse or any other kind of sexual activity outside of your marriage.

I’d say there is ALWAYS a chance you have STDs if you had sexual intercourse with both your spouse and someone else…your spouse needs to know this.

It baffles me that a spouse that decides to come clean wouldn’t tell his/her wife/husband. You always risk STDs.

 

[AnaTurin]

My husband told me today that three years ago he ended a two-year affair with someone he worked with. We have been married for 11 years and he said this was the only time he has ever cheated on me. He said he didn’t know what he was doing but it lasted for two years so I know he’s not telling me the whole truth.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to respond. He says he still wants to stay married, that he’s willing to do anything make it right. He said he confessed it to me because it was eating away at his soul. How can I recover from this? How can I move forward? Do we still sleep in the same bed? Do I still cook dinner for him? How can we ever be the same again?

Dear Catholicanne:

I’m so sorry. I went through a similar thing. Our youngest daughter was barely home from the hospital (2 weeks old) and husb. wants to have a “talk” with me, and tells me that he is in love with a co-worker.
At first I was in so much shock, I didn’t even know how to respond. I think I went through every emotion really. Needless to say, for us this was the beginning of the end, but mostly because we were protestants at the time, and our particular “brand” of faith taught that divorce was ok in the case of unfaithfulness. I think that is what kept us from working through it and healing, especially for me.

It is very very difficult to forgive something like this. Your trust is completely shattered and you feel heartbroken. But at the same time, I firmly believe with all my heart that situations like this are exactly the reason that Jesus said over and over to forgive others when they wrong us. No one is perfect. Even though this seems like the worst thing that a spouse could possibly do to another, still the marriage bond is sacred.
Your husband sinned, but the devil is our real enemy. Even if you just don’t think you can live with him, please forgive him and at least try to allow healing.

Remember also that all of us wound the Lord when we stray from Him and sin against Him. Imagine that the pain you feel now is the pain that the Lord feels when you are unfaithful to Him(as we all are). It sounds like your husband is truly sorry. If you are merciful to him, you may be amazed at how much good will come out of a horrible situation.