A
Alindawyl
Guest
I’m frequently guilty of being scrupulous and think there may be some of that at work here. If you haven’t heard the term scrupulous before, it basically means being overly critical of yourself. Not normal critical, but critical to an almost obsessive level. It’s one thing to admit that porn is wrong and another thing to fret over whether or not any specific type of porn needed to be confessed separately or it didn’t count.
Scrupulosity is one of the weapons employed by Satan and his minions. If he can get us to believe we didn’t receive forgiveness for something, or sinned when we really didn’t, then it makes his job all that much easier. Feelings of self-loathing can crop up, as well as a sense of failure and unworthiness which is not healthy.
When you get down to it, it’s a trust issue. Do you trust God to know what’s in your heart and forgive you even if you forgot to mention a specific incident? Forgiving ourselves is so much harder than him forgiving us. We often want to hold on to our sins after forgiveness and mull over them. Don’t do it. Let them go. Breaking our attachment to a particular sin is so much easier when we are able to forgive ourselves and let the past remain the past.
If you honestly forgot to mention a sin at confession, just mention it next time and say you forgot it the last time. I’ve done that several times before. God forgives ALL sins at confession, even ones you don’t mention, as long as you are truly repentant. You only bring up forgotten sins to clear your own conscience after having remembered. Withholding a sin with deliberate forethought when you go to confession is a different matter entirely, and is a sign that either you aren’t truly repentant for that sin or are committing a new sin out of fear by lying to God.
If you think something requires more detail, just elaborate next time and say you thought you needed to mention it again.
Regardless of circumstances, ask the priest if you’re being scrupulous and see what he says. He may say it was important for you to have elaborated with more detail, or he may tell you that you’re worrying over nothing. The priest will know better than us.
Scrupulosity is one of the weapons employed by Satan and his minions. If he can get us to believe we didn’t receive forgiveness for something, or sinned when we really didn’t, then it makes his job all that much easier. Feelings of self-loathing can crop up, as well as a sense of failure and unworthiness which is not healthy.
When you get down to it, it’s a trust issue. Do you trust God to know what’s in your heart and forgive you even if you forgot to mention a specific incident? Forgiving ourselves is so much harder than him forgiving us. We often want to hold on to our sins after forgiveness and mull over them. Don’t do it. Let them go. Breaking our attachment to a particular sin is so much easier when we are able to forgive ourselves and let the past remain the past.
If you honestly forgot to mention a sin at confession, just mention it next time and say you forgot it the last time. I’ve done that several times before. God forgives ALL sins at confession, even ones you don’t mention, as long as you are truly repentant. You only bring up forgotten sins to clear your own conscience after having remembered. Withholding a sin with deliberate forethought when you go to confession is a different matter entirely, and is a sign that either you aren’t truly repentant for that sin or are committing a new sin out of fear by lying to God.
If you think something requires more detail, just elaborate next time and say you thought you needed to mention it again.
Regardless of circumstances, ask the priest if you’re being scrupulous and see what he says. He may say it was important for you to have elaborated with more detail, or he may tell you that you’re worrying over nothing. The priest will know better than us.