Patience with others

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MargaretofCortona

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How do you deal with people who don’t meet your ideal? They are too emotional for your taste. Or dramatic. They drag things out for too long. They need too much attention. They have low self esteem.
Why can’t we all be rational, calm, objective, independent and self controlled?
I hate how emotions cloud people’s judgment.
 
Remind yourself that you don’t always live up to your own ideal.
 
Why did God give us feelings? We don’t always feel the way we should. I hate it when I get offended by something I shouldn’t.
 
Be patient, but don’t waste your time.

There’s several people I don’t deal with because of the reasons you state. Jesus preached his message, but he never begged. And there are people out there who you will never satisfy.
 
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No one is perfect. If you cut people off for any sign of imperfection, you won’t be happy. Everything comes with good and bad.
 
I’m not talking about any little sign of imperfection. I’m saying there are people out there who won’t even listen to you and will just shout you down and aren’t interested in what you have to say.
 
I’ve wondered about emotions too. Why, God, why did you give us the capacity to have feelings and emotions?

I struggle greatly with being irritated by my coworker — he’s a nice guy but it’s a struggle having to almost put on a facade to interact with him because of our different personalities.

But our neighbors do not irritate us — they sanctify us. (Paraphrased from St. Jose Maria Escriva)

Slowly I’m learning to accept all things, all people, all situations…too slowly…
 
I don’t understand your first reply (at least not why it was to me, unless to agree that indeed we don’t always live up to our own ideals)

I don’t think that cutting them off is necessary, but you may avoid topics that tend to provoke that behavior. If that is impossible then limiting interaction may be anoher option.
 
I wonder why some people just stay with us longer than others. Having feelings makes it possible to be a victim of emotional abuse. I’ve stated this in another post. I don’t know how to accept and deal with my bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsions. I’m very angry I suffer from this.
 
MargaretofCortona said:
How do you deal with people who don’t meet your ideal? They are too emotional for your taste. Or dramatic. They drag things out for too long. They need too much attention. They have low self esteem.
Why can’t we all be rational, calm, objective, independent and self controlled?
I hate how emotions cloud people’s judgment.
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You become an adult and move out of your parent’s home.
 
Accept these people from where they are coming. Love is the greatest power in the world.

(I need to practice that every day.) Lord, help us…be our patience.
 
Accept that you are impatient, and see it as a weakness in yourself. It will be a source of humility for you if you will accept it. You are not perfect. God intentionally did not make you that way.

I, for example, might get impatient with a person for some reason X, but then I think about it, the greater weakness is probably my impatience rather than that person’s perceived weakness, whatever it may be.

I try to see that fault in myself, accept it to some degree, and ask God to help me improve and maybe even some day overcome it.
 
OP I think you already know the answer to this question–the acceptance that we all have flaws.
Unfortunately, there’s no shortcut to virtue.
Every day you need to renew your commitment to bearing with others patiently.
Every. Single. Day.
And yes, it’s tiring work!
But your patience and loving kindness might be the exact balm another person needs–even if you aren’t feeling it in the moment.
God bless
 
Hi Margaret,

I have severe Bipolar and am still struggling with cognitive distortions. Yeah, my feelings do throw me when they act up. How does one accept their emotions and stay sane? This is how I do it: I try to discern what I’m feeling (I use a feelings list because if I don’t I won’t know what I feel).

I also keep a Journal as often as I can, see a therapist (great guy), a psychiatrist and take meds. As to dealing with other people, for my own mental health, I try to be compassionate and understanding with a healthy dose of tolerance.

Hope this helps,
Stuart
 
MargaretofCortona said:
How do you deal with people who don’t meet your ideal? They are too emotional for your taste. Or dramatic. They drag things out for too long. They need too much attention. They have low self esteem.
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Well, I think I’m kinda one of those people sometimes.I think we all are, sometimes. Nobody has everything figured out.
MargaretofCortona said:
I hate how emotions cloud people’s judgment.
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Personally I think that people need emotions to cloud their judgement sometimes in order to have convictions. Both of which are given to us by God… Would you go to mass if you didn’t feel like you needed to? Would you do anything if you didn’t feel like you needed/wanted it?
MargaretofCortona said:
Why can’t we all be rational, calm, objective, independent and self controlled?
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Because nobody’s really all that wise. We’re all kinda codependent in some ways, because like I said, nobody really has everything figured out. One person might have something figured out, and the other person doesn’t, so the second person goes to the first and asks if they can share a little piece of their wisdom. And some people are more delicate than others. Strength doesn’t come so easy to some people.

I guess sympathy is key, also a whole lotta prayer. Everyone needs a little more Jesus in their lives.

And I mean, you can try being honest with them too, sometimes people just need to know they’re seeking more attention that you can (or care to) give. It’s best to be careful with that though. Some people might take it rough, some people might understand. Just depends on, how their emotions cloud their judgement, or how much their emotions cloud their judgement…
 
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