Paying Attention at Mass

[Catholic4aReasn]

Anna's Mom:

I’ve just recently returned to the catholic church after many years. I do not have much knowledge on religion, however I am trying to learn. My problem is that at mass I’m in the cry room because I’m afraid of my 5 month old making a fuss and didturbing others. I have problems understanding the sermons from here because I can’t hear them very well. the speaker is on, yet I am still straining to hear what is going on. Should I go somewhere else??

Start out in the church with your baby and only leave if you have to. Then come back in if you can. If you sit in the back you won’t disturb anyone. When your baby is a toddler start sitting in the front so he (she?) can see. I think that people are most annoying when people don’t take crying babies out, but most people are pretty tolerant of normal, toddler behavior. Being in church is the only way your child will learn appropriate behavior there.

I have a friend who, when her daughter was a baby and toddler, always took her into church. Her sister always opted for the cry room or nursery with her own child. They were invited to a wedding and both took their child. I wasn’t there, but apparently the difference in behavior between these two kids was amazing! The child who was used to being in church was much quieter and better behaved than the child who had never been taught how to behave in church. Because he was used to the cry room and nursery going to church, to him, was a playtime.

Just a thought.

In Christ,
Nancy

 

[Catholic4aReasn]

paramedicgirl:

Yes, you should be in the pews with your baby. I would only leave for the crying room if the baby actually starts to really cry. People love babies, and most realize that a little noise accompanies a baby at Mass. When a baby makes noise at our Church, the priest tells the parents not to leave, and reminds the parishioners that children are the future of the Church.

I used to belong to a parish where ther pastor also told those of us with little kids to bring them to church. He called their chatter a joyful noise and firmly believed that it was the place for them to be.

In Christ,
Nancy

 

[netmilsmom]

AmISearching?:

Interesting - someone needs to write a book about all the little things that aren’t spiritually important, but would still help converts figure out Catholic “culture”

My hubby in RCIA is stating the same thing.
He feels that he is “out of the box” when it comes to the things that Catholics “just do”.

He says he feels like we are all one big club and he doesn’t know the secret handshake.

 

[netmilsmom]

Catholic4aReasn:

I used to belong to a parish where ther pastor also told those of us with little kids to bring them to church. He called their chatter a joyful noise and firmly believed that it was the place for them to be.

In Christ,
Nancy

We had a visiting priest tell a great story about babies.
Bishop Fulton Sheen was giving a homily at a parish. A baby began to cry. The mom stood up and started to walk out.
The Bishop said, “Please Ma’am, don’t leave. Your baby is not disturbing me.”
The Lady said, “Thank you Bishop Sheen, but you are disturbing my baby!”
The whole church cracked up.

 

[Anna_s_Mom]

Catholic4aReasn:

Start out in the church with your baby and only leave if you have to. Then come back in if you can. If you sit in the back you won’t disturb anyone. When your baby is a toddler start sitting in the front so he (she?) can see. I think that people are most annoying when people don’t take crying babies out, but most people are pretty tolerant of normal, toddler behavior. Being in church is the only way your child will learn appropriate behavior there.

I have a friend who, when her daughter was a baby and toddler, always took her into church. Her sister always opted for the cry room or nursery with her own child. They were invited to a wedding and both took their child. I wasn’t there, but apparently the difference in behavior between these two kids was amazing! The child who was used to being in church was much quieter and better behaved than the child who had never been taught how to behave in church. Because he was used to the cry room and nursery going to church, to him, was a playtime.

Just a thought.

In Christ,
Nancy

I just do not want to disrupt anyone else. I feel she is too young to teach her to be quiet in church, so I sit in the cry room.
my biggest pet peeve is when people let their children carry on in public places church restauraunts, stores ect…
I’ll try sitting in a pew, however I’m worried that just her happy babble will make it hard for others to hear. ( she is only 5 months)

 

[maryj]

Anna's Mom:

I just do not want to disrupt anyone else. I feel she is too young to teach her to be quiet in church, so I sit in the cry room.
my biggest pet peeve is when people let their children carry on in public places church restauraunts, stores ect…
I’ll try sitting in a pew, however I’m worried that just her happy babble will make it hard for others to hear. ( she is only 5 months)

Too funny that you should write this!!! I was at a cathedral yesterday for the closing of the Year of the Eucharist, the monstrance that was used had been blessed by our beloved JP2. There was this beautiful mass, with hundreds of people, a beautiful childrens choir preformed, and at the end of Mass the Monstrance was brought out and when adoration began you could have heard a pin drop in that cathedral. Here was our Bishop kneeling in front of our Lord with incense wafting all around him, hundreds of catholics with their heads bowed in deep prayer and at that moment the 1 year old in front of me started to giggle and giggle. I have never heard such a sound so sweet, my very first thought was this… I wonder if that is what God sounds like…I hope so. Let her babble, our Lord knows what she’s saying!!! by the way I’m the youngest of 11 and my father always sat us in the first pew. Less distractions. If she starts to be disruptive, walk to the crying room…each time it will get longer and longer that she can sit quietly. Good luck and God Bless You

 

[bear06]

Why is Satin personally attacking me? LOL!–nicolo

Maybe he’s mad you’re spelling his name wrong! Sorry! Couldn’t resist. I had to sit there for a few minutes and figure out why that didn’t look right. I’m sure it was a typo on your part but I’m a horrible speller. Thank goodness for spell checking! That’s the one thing I hate about the forums. No spell check.

 

[otm]

Anna's Mom:

I just do not want to disrupt anyone else. I feel she is too young to teach her to be quiet in church, so I sit in the cry room.
my biggest pet peeve is when people let their children carry on in public places church restauraunts, stores ect…
I’ll try sitting in a pew, however I’m worried that just her happy babble will make it hard for others to hear. ( she is only 5 months)

I am a bit amused that you think that at 5 months she is too young to start teaching about being quiet.

Many years ago I had someone sitting on the couch next to me, telling my how my 6 month old did not understand the word “no”. She was quite articulate and went on rather extensively about how they were just too young etc, etc, etc.

To mak a long story short, I demonstrated to her as clearly as possible that my daughter did, indeed, understand the word “no”.

After a demonstration that would have made any parent proud, this woman continued to tell me about how children just don’t “get it”. Perhaps if she had simply stopped talking long enough to make a simple observation, she would have learned something.

Your child is amply old enoung to learn; she just has to be taught. And there is no better way to teach than to put her in the situation where quiet (not silence, just quiet) is taught and rewarded. I suspect that she will get that a lot quicker by being in the pew than in the crying room, where any reinforcement has been rendered unnecessary. And if she babbles a bit, the world won’t fall apart and Mass won’t be upset. If she makes a big fuss, then when it starts (not when it is full blown), get up and step out to the back of church, or the crying room. You both will do fine. Just use common sense.

 

[Catholic4aReasn]

Anna's Mom:

I just do not want to disrupt anyone else. I feel she is too young to teach her to be quiet in church, so I sit in the cry room.
my biggest pet peeve is when people let their children carry on in public places church restauraunts, stores ect…
I’ll try sitting in a pew, however I’m worried that just her happy babble will make it hard for others to hear. ( she is only 5 months)

“Carrying on” and “happy babble” are two completely different things.

I’ve noticed over the years that I’m much more sensitive to my kids’ misbehavior then other people are. There are times when I think my kids did horribley and someone will comment after Mass how well behaved my kids were. Your daughters noise will bother you because you think it’s bothering others far more than it actually is.

Take her in church with you!

In Christ,
Nancy

 

[Dr.Bombay]

I agree with most everything said here. Kids belong in church. That’s the only way they’ll learn how to behave properly.

Cry rooms should be outlawed. The vestibule is perfectly fine to handle the occasional unruly child. A cry room is just an excuse to let the kid be as loud and obnoxious as he wants to be. Not the proper lesson to be teaching him when going to church.

 

[bear06]

As a mom of six, I agree with this. The crying room would be OK if most in there wasn’t there to let their children run around. That said, we spend a lot of time out in the vestibule but our children know this is not playtime. In fact, our kids are free to roam back and forth inside the church as long as they are quiet(up to age 3 at the most and then they have to sit and stand when we do and say the prayers they know). Once they start making constant noise, not just the occaisonal babble or keep kicking the pews,etc., out they go and my husband holds them the entire time they are in the vestibule. I always call it the wrestling match. They may not get down out there. After awhile, they just prefer to be in the church.

I would disagree, however, that a 5 month old is able to understand when to be quiet or even what it means when you put your finger up to your lips to shush them. I notice that this occurs at about a year depending on the child.

 

[djrakowski]

Dr. Bombay:

Cry rooms should be outlawed. The vestibule is perfectly fine to handle the occasional unruly child. A cry room is just an excuse to let the kid be as loud and obnoxious as he wants to be. Not the proper lesson to be teaching him when going to church.

Thank goodness you don’t speak for the entirety of the Church on this issue. Without cry rooms, my wife and I would never be able to attend Mass with our two developmentally disabled children. Taking them into the vestibule every time they made a ruckus would require us to be absent from the majority of every single Mass we’ve ever tried to attend.

 

[paramedicgirl]

djrakowski:

Thank goodness you don’t speak for the entirety of the Church on this issue. Without cry rooms, my wife and I would never be able to attend Mass with our two developmentally disabled children. Taking them into the vestibule every time they made a ruckus would require us to be absent from the majority of every single Mass we’ve ever tried to attend.

People need to be more tolerant of children during Mass. If they only knew how much they could sanctify themselves by not focussing on the distractions that children bring, they would consider each opportunity to overcome these distractions a blessing from God.

 

[pippin]

puzzleannie:

you may also consider joining the choir, becoming an altar server, usher or reader, anything which forces you to “pay attention”, because the parts of the Mass, their order and harmony will begin to make more sense to you. However, it is not necessary to be actively ministering in service to the liturgy in order to be in full active participation in the Mass. The most important part is still our responses and our listening.

I also had trouble with my concentration when I was young. I started using a missal. I still find it easier to keep my mind on the mass by following everything in the missal. I like to read the mass beforehand. My missal gives an explanation of the theme of the mass and explanations of each reading. I have also found that praying the rosary daily and meditating on the mystries helps me with my ability to concentrate in general.

btw my missal helped me with the Latin mass before Vatican II.

 

[Trick]

djrakowski:

Thank goodness you don’t speak for the entirety of the Church on this issue. Without cry rooms, my wife and I would never be able to attend Mass with our two developmentally disabled children. Taking them into the vestibule every time they made a ruckus would require us to be absent from the majority of every single Mass we’ve ever tried to attend.

While I feel that cry rooms are abused by many parents, I do think there is a need for them, especially in a case like yours.

God bless,

Trick

 

[djrakowski]

Trick:

While I feel that cry rooms are abused by many parents, I do think there is a need for them, especially in a case like yours.

Thank you. That’s exactly why I don’t like absolutism on things that aren’t required.