"Paying" for sacraments?

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ni8_shadow

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Hello,
I want to know why my parish church requires a deposit for a marriage to be held there. Speaking to my parish sec. and she mentioned there would be a $100 non-refundable deposit to get married in the church. Am I paying to get the sacrament of marriage? (Simony?)

What of the poor who wish to get this scrament? Can they deny marriage if people don’t pay $100?

Thanks
 
As a general statement, it costs the parish a lot to keep the church building open and put it to use for such things as wedding ceremonies. That $100 might not even cover actual expenses.
You are not paying for the sacrament. You are covering the expenses incurred for the use of the building.
As to your last question - you might ask them whether they allow reductions in the expected deposit for the poor.
 
Well, to hold a marriage in a church requires a lot of electricity and things like that to be used.

It requires fresh flowers to be either provided or at least arranged (unless you were intending to do absolutely everything yourself, in which case it would cost at least the same for the flowers anyways!).

It requires the church to be cleaned beforehand and afterwards. Probably the yard as well if you have rice, confetti or even flower petals dropping everywhere.

They may need to put staff on to make sure your guests park in the right places and don’t cause a jam for other traffic on the way out afterwards.

It requires a whole lot of other preparations that you and I are probably totally unaware of. And almost certainly non-parishioners get charged a lot more just to cover the losses they’d make on your wedding. $100 sounds more than reasonable.

You’re paying for those things, of course not for the sacrament itself, which with the Bishop’s permission need not be done in a church at all.
 
ni8_shadow said:
Hello,
I want to know why my parish church requires a deposit for a marriage to be held there. Speaking to my parish sec. and she mentioned there would be a $100 non-refundable deposit to get married in the church. Am I paying to get the sacrament of marriage? (Simony?)

What of the poor who wish to get this scrament? Can they deny marriage if people don’t pay $100?

Thanks
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we have discussed this at great length on the proper forum liturgy and sacraments

you are not paying for a sacrament

no Catholic Church charges money for Mass and sacraments

your are paying for use of the church and its facilities, overhead, etc. you are also paying way at the low end of the spectrum. $100 wouldn’t even cover A/C for the wedding and rehearsal here so pay up and count your blessings.

just for curiosity since you are probably doing a lot of planning and budgeting, what is the charge for use of the hall for your reception, band, flowers, cake, catering, photographer, music, dress, favors etc? do you think the $100 is out of line for your geographic area, overall cost of the wedding etc.

please remind the groom not to forget to budget for a good will donation to the priest or deacon who does the wedding, and a tip for altar servers.
 
puzzleannie said:
please remind the groom not to forget to budget for a good will donation to the priest or deacon who does the wedding, and a tip for altar servers.
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yep that too!

$100 is super cheap to keep the power on during your wedding.
 
Hmm mostly nice replies with good info.

Hopefully going to be a small wedding maybe less than 50 guests. Just at the begining phases of the planning. Figured we’d be better off starting with the church than with the reception halls. Halls usually charge for their food/person. Have no idea what flowers are going to run…don’t think we need 'em, but hey, I’m a guy:shrug: and it is pretty much her wedding 😃 .

I just wanted to know where the $ goes. I get into it with some prots. about how when I was confirmed I “had to pay” and the same with most of the other sacraments. I stated that if you are able to, then it would be a nice gesture to help out the church during your confirmation etc but if you were dirt poor then the church would STILL confirm you…but a wedding I wasn’t sure of. It sounded on the phone like “If you don’t pay up, then you can’t get married.” So I asked here for a quick response.

On another note, how hard is it to get a dispensation for a ceremony outside a church? Would a priest go to a country club for an outdoor wedding?
 
ni8_shadow said:
Hmm mostly nice replies with good info.

Hopefully going to be a small wedding maybe less than 50 guests. Just at the begining phases of the planning. Figured we’d be better off starting with the church than with the reception halls. Halls usually charge for their food/person. Have no idea what flowers are going to run…don’t think we need 'em, but hey, I’m a guy:shrug: and it is pretty much her wedding 😃 .

I just wanted to know where the $ goes. I get into it with some prots. about how when I was confirmed I “had to pay” and the same with most of the other sacraments. I stated that if you are able to, then it would be a nice gesture to help out the church during your confirmation etc but if you were dirt poor then the church would STILL confirm you…but a wedding I wasn’t sure of. It sounded on the phone like “If you don’t pay up, then you can’t get married.” So I asked here for a quick response.

On another note, how hard is it to get a dispensation for a ceremony outside a church? Would a priest go to a country club for an outdoor wedding?
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You’d need to get in touch with the Bishop’s office of your diocese to find that out, I’m not sure how difficult it is, probably varies from diocese to diocese.

If I remember correctly weddings can be done by a priest or deacon with just two witnesses in the sacristy or something like that, which would mean you didn’t have to pay for the Church.

You could always do that to make the marriage sacramental and then have a big ceremony with whichever celebrant you wanted wherever you darn well wanted.
 
ni8_shadow said:
On another note, how hard is it to get a dispensation for a ceremony outside a church? Would a priest go to a country club for an outdoor wedding?
Click to expand...
no as been discussed many times on the proper forum -liturgy and sacraments–not without a compelling reason. Marriage is a sacrament and sacraments are normally celebrated in the church or oratory, unless there is a grave reason to do otherwise (Mass on the battlefield etc).

do you really thing the country club venue will be cheaper?

if you are doing an immediate family thing consider marriage during a regular daily Mass, or after the Saturday afternoon Mass. in this parish it would cost you nothing except the freewill donation for the services of the deacon or priest.
 
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this but a lot of churches will give you a discount, or completely forget the fee for weddings and such if you have been a contributing member of that church for some time. I used to work at my church when I was in college and we had different fees depending on the situation, for non-member it was a higher price than college students, or members. It might be one thing to look into.
 
Ok I get it…proper forum…I can’t move this as I am not a moderator or in charge of tasks like that. Maybe you can tell the “powers that be” to move this to the proper place. (or they can just eventually find it and move it)

But thanks for the info though. Never saw the “grave reason” thing in the CCC but that sounds about right.

No I don’t think the Club would be cheaper, just examining the options. Most of the guests…in fact all of them, are not from around here and it may be easier for them to stick to one spot. And I don’t think we have a reception in the Church.

Ahhh most important fact…it’s an interfaith marriage. So we may have to do a Catholic ceremony, then a Protestant one…or choose one. Read in the CCC it was allowed but did not know the requirements etc.
 
ni8_shadow said:
Ahhh most important fact…it’s an interfaith marriage. So we may have to do a Catholic ceremony, then a Protestant one…or choose one. Read in the CCC it was allowed but did not know the requirements etc.
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best bet is to get guidance from the priest or deacon who will be preparing you for marriage, they will have suggestions for not only of course making sure both the Catholic and non-Catholic party know the laws that bind the Catholic, but also for arranging things so the marriage rite is done properly for the sacrament, but with due respect for the sensibilities of non-CAtholic family and guests. no, you may not have two ceremonies, you did not read that in the CCC, but there are options for almost every step of the way–where, when, by whom etc.

it might very well be that the way it was done in the “old days” (my mom, for instance, a Methodist who married a Catholic) works best for you on all fronts. A small private ceremony with just the couple, witnesses and priest in the rectory or in church after a regular scheduled Mass (no fee in that case), and the reception in whatever venue you choose, for as many people as you want, as lavish or as simple as you want, maybe not even that same day.
 
Our parish charges $100 cleaning fee. There are also fees for the musician [staff person, who incurrs overtime for saturday wedding plus the practice of music and rehersal - $150] and the cantor [a volunteer trained cantor - stipend $100]. I find these fees so very reasonable and not a charge for the ‘sacrament’.

You are typically reserving the church for a special mass, adding staff planning and scheduling time, costs for utilities [water/sewer, gas, electricity] Someone to open and close the church for the rehearsal and the wedding and clean up after the wedding.

To eliminate these coss you could exchange vows during a regularly scheduled mass * but this is not the exlcusive ‘wedding service’ most coupls desire …

Also, as for flowers, plan you wedding during the Easter Season … this is what we did for my daughters wedding [the 4th Sunday of Easter and it also happened to be the dame weekend the Bishop was there for Confimations] … we took the Church as is … no flowers other than those worn or carried like the bridal bouquet, corsages etc… Yes, this was our acceptance of what the ‘environment’ committee had chosen for the parish but I can tell you it was beautiful and we never regretted the decision … and the savings 😃 . My daughter had always wanted to get married during Easter because the Chruch was always the “most beautiful” [her words]…*
 
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