Penance and women

[Deo_Gratias42]

Well that’s a nice sentiment but yes, confession is ultimately receiving absolution and then, in turn, forgiveness for your sins. You can receive some nice spiritual direction but if you aren’t absolved and then you die, you’re still in a state of mortal sin, and then you go to hell. Spiritual direction is important, but receiving absolution is the absolute.

Exactly. Confession isn’t the place for long drawn out spiritual direction. For the love of all that is holy, could people please stop doing this, or at least make an appointment? I swear one of the biggest reasons so many priests are hesitant to do a “quick impromptu” confession for penitents because they’ve been burnt by too many therapy sessions with absolution.

Yes! That’s it! That’s the reason why women’s confessions had to heard anonymously and with a fixed grate. Woman are more prone to wanting to talk about their feelings about their sins and go on for long periods of time. The anonymity and the fixed grill help out with that psychologically.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Exactly. Confession isn’t the place for long drawn out spiritual direction. For the love of all that is holy, could people please stop doing this, or at least make an appointment? I swear one of the biggest reasons so many priests are hesitant to do a “quick impromptu” confession for penitents because they’ve been burnt by too many therapy sessions with absolution.

Yes! That’s it! That’s the reason why women’s confessions had to heard anonymously and with a fixed grate. Woman are more prone to wanting to talk about their feelings about their sins and go on for long periods of time. The anonymity and the fixed grill help out with that psychologically.

Wow…talk about putting people in a box. Spiritual direction need only take a few minutes to help us to avoid the sin in the future. Obviously if it’s going to be longer then that…make an appointment. But the priest is not a therapist…and no one is saying they are. But a little guidance…briefly…from our spiritual father can set us off in the right direction.

BTW…my husband’s confessions take a lot longer than mine.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Exactly. Confession isn’t the place for long drawn out spiritual direction. For the love of all that is holy, could people please stop doing this, or at least make an appointment? I swear one of the biggest reasons so many priests are hesitant to do a “quick impromptu” confession for penitents because they’ve been burnt by too many therapy sessions with absolution.

Yes! That’s it! That’s the reason why women’s confessions had to heard anonymously and with a fixed grate. Woman are more prone to wanting to talk about their feelings about their sins and go on for long periods of time. The anonymity and the fixed grill help out with that psychologically.

How do you know what said between a priest and a penitent during confession?

And exactly how many priests have complained to you personally about penitents who misuse the confessional?

Luna

 

[rhiannonh]

Deo Gratias42
Hardly,
I was in confession and the whole time in church for about 15 minutes. Which about my average timing, including chat after confession. I am not big on talking, hence writing it out in paragraph form and reading it. I don’t need to talkeither in confession about my sins that much certainly with who we have now because he knows from my emails which are my only way being able to say something. But yes, I did need and am very greatful for the guidence.
But being Anglican means I do not have to do confession. So there is no point in just rattling of almost nameless sins. God forgives them for us as we do not need a priest to forgive them. I do confession because I want to, I see a value in being able to talk and receive guidence and yes I do honour the penance whole, and yes this priest for me at least sets relevent penance. Not just another Lord’s Prayer to do. Penance helps to make my life a better space, since am Anglican and don’t have to do confession at all…

So yeh, if you want to be critical and think that confession is a long drawn out spiritual guidence then partly you are right for me because being Anglican, I can access and use the confessional too yes have sins absolved via the priest but to be guided and helped back on track which I very much need especially when sinned. Confession is of love of God, not of duty being Anglican

I do not know how anyone else uses the confession. Through the years I have stumbled on my own way and priests haven’t given any impression I am wrong at all. Certainly when it comes to advice, it is them doing the talking and I listen and will answer if they ask questions. Perhaps we have a different format than you guys because on the card that we read, we ask for advice, penance and absolution. They choose what to advise on I guess. So its to our advantage that we can help the priest to help us by being able to be open about situations. Thats of course assuming we want to be helped. Which I think most anglicans would do since there is room there for advice.

 

[rhiannonh]

ps
and we have no grates or boxes or curtains or rooms in our church

There isa chair for the priest to sit at and a kneeler table for us to kneel at. More recent priests seem to prefer sitting that we both sit in the pew. Nothing segregated etc. And what is more deo Gratias42, I am in full control of when I choose to do confession, naturally when the priest is available. Perhaps confession is better when we don’t have to go

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

How do you know what said between a priest and a penitent during confession?

And exactly how many priests have complained to you personally about penitents who misuse the confessional?

Luna

This is nothing new. Numerous priests, even the Vatican have spoken on this issue of abusing the Sacrament of Penance as long drawn out spiritual direction/therapy session. Just Google it.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

ps
and we have no grates or boxes or curtains or rooms in our church

There isa chair for the priest to sit at and a kneeler table for us to kneel at. More recent priests seem to prefer sitting that we both sit in the pew. Nothing segregated etc. And what is more deo Gratias42, I am in full control of when I choose to do confession, naturally when the priest is available. Perhaps confession is better when we don’t have to go

I’m in full control too, as my priest is practically always in the Confessional.

15 minutes is a pretty long time for a regular confession. Most Confessions are 5 minutes or less. The priest does have to get through a number of penitents.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

This is nothing new. Numerous priests, even the Vatican have spoken on this issue of abusing the Sacrament of Penance as long drawn out spiritual direction/therapy session. Just Google it.

I have read Fr. Z’s blog, yes.

But you yourself have no direct, personal knowledge of what is said between any other penitent but yourself and a priest, yes?

Because it seems to me that if confession misuse is a widespread problem, and I’m not saying it isn’t, but if individuals are taking too long, or talking about the wrong things or not doing right in some way, then it’s the responsibility of the priests to educate and offer correction.

Not us.

When I go to regularly scheduled confession times at my parish there are rarely more than 20 people there, and many of us could be described as the “old confessional regulars.” Yet at Sunday Mass there are hundreds of people in the Communion lines.

So, I think we all of us should be encouraging our fellow lay Catholics to get in the confessional more often instead of bonking each other over the head for not doing it right. I’m sure that the majority of priests who hear confessions all the time have enough pastoral acumen to compassionately correct penitents who need it.

Luna

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

So, I think we all of us should be encouraging our fellow lay Catholics to get in the confessional more often instead of bonking each other over the head for not doing it right. I’m sure that the majority of priests who hear confessions all the time have enough pastoral acumen to compassionately correct penitents who need it.

Luna

This! I’d be the first to admit that going to confession is down there with dental appointments and physicals in terms of Necessary Things That Are Very Uncomfortable To Do, but squabbling about how one does it just makes it even seem even less pleasant and can increase a person’s reluctance.

 

[TuAutem]

Being Anglican means … I do confession because I want to

As a former Anglican, the selective quote above sums up for me the difference between the Protestant and Catholic practice. The Protestant experience is self-centered: it is to benefit oneself, and on one’s own terms. The form is derived from the Roman rite, but compromise on any and all aspects of it is acceptable.

For Catholics, Confession is a sacrament in which Jesus Christ is encountered directly. Whether the minister of the sacrament knows us personally or not. Do you think that the Eucharist is less valid when the priest does not know who you are?

rhiannonh, your ideas of Catholic confession seem to be based more on popular stereotypes than our actual experience. Catholics do not go to Confession solely on a sense of duty: objectively it only is a duty once a year, and most nominal Catholics do not even do that. Those in the minority who avail themselves of frequent confession are every bit as voluntary as Anglicans. We do do it for the love of God; that does not mean it is not a duty. Yet even so, there are many, many more of us, then there are among Anglicans, even if we are a minority of total self-proclaimed Catholics. (When was the last time you had to wait in line over half an hour to make your confession, outside of Lent?)

You also seem to demean our penances. Yes, the penance given is *always *symbolic, because even if it were something as extreme as “make your way to Rome on your knees, reciting Hail Marys all the way”, such a thing would still, objectively, be less that what we receive in the sacrament. So yes, doing our penance is symbolic, on some level–but that does not make it any less necessary, when one understands what it symbolises.

The power of Christ’s ministers to loose sins is expressly given in the Holy Gospel, and administered through the Sacrament of Penance. We do not go because we feel like it; we go because God Almighty decreed, through His Son, that this was the way in which He wanted us to obtain His mercy in forgiving our sins. We do not forgive ourselves of our sins; he forgives us. In order for this to happen, we need only to make use of the means which he has chosen to provide for it.

 

[rhiannonh]

Not intending to be deemening so I am sorry for that.

Just simply saying how it is for me.

I also have no idea if 15 minutes is long in average for other Anglicans who do use the sacarament. I am never around for in our church very few do use it and all those do, do so by private arrangement.

What is wrong about doing Confession because one wants to? I don’t do anything in church out of duty but out of love of God. What is wrong with that?

 

[YoungTradCath]

Not intending to be deemening so I am sorry for that.

Just simply saying how it is for me.

I also have no idea if 15 minutes is long in average for other Anglicans who do use the sacarament. I am never around for in our church very few do use it and all those do, do so by private arrangement.

What is wrong about doing Confession because one wants to? I don’t do anything in church out of duty but out of love of God. What is wrong with that?

Because duty to God is rooted in love for God.

Think of it this way: if someone hates going to mass on Sunday, is he going to go just because someone tells him he has an obligation to? Extremely unlikely. I’ve never met a person who goes to mass regularly (as in, every time it is required to do so) who did it even though he hated doing it. The people who go to mass regularly and upkeep the obligation to do so do it because they want to, which the obligation supports. I love going to mass, but even I sometimes, such as today, am tired and don’t really feel like getting ready to go to mass, but I’m going to do so anyways, because I have to.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Yesterday I went to reconciliation…no one waiting…so yes…there is enough time for a little direction…especially if I have some heavy things to deal with and I am struggling. I didn’t go “0n and on” to talk about my feelings…but the priest did help me out. I doubt it was a problem for him as he knows there was no one waiting…besides…Christ is acting through him and I am not about to put a limit on what Christ does.

 

[rhiannonh]

Because duty to God is rooted in love for God.

Think of it this way: if someone hates going to mass on Sunday, is he going to go just because someone tells him he has an obligation to? Extremely unlikely. I’ve never met a person who goes to mass regularly (as in, every time it is required to do so) who did it even though he hated doing it. The people who go to mass regularly and upkeep the obligation to do so do it because they want to, which the obligation supports. I love going to mass, but even I sometimes, such as today, am tired and don’t really feel like getting ready to go to mass, but I’m going to do so anyways, because I have to.

Ah there you might have it. I do things out of love of God. simple. I do go to Sunday Service quite literally because I love doing so. There are times when bed is more inviting but out of 20+ years I simply love going to church because I love God. I don’t run to the confession because I miss a week or two. I love God and thats all there is to it for me.

For me it is about loving God.