penance question

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coralife205

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Am i required to do the penence that the priest asked of me? He wanted me to to do a good deed to anybody i want that i have been unkind to lately. but im sitting here thinking…and thinking… and thinking…i honestly dont know what to do. i was wondering if i could do something else for my penence, or if i already have… after confession, i went home, got something small to eat, then i went to a differnt church and went to mass, recieved the eurcrhist. could that of been my penence? im still planing on going to mass again in the morning, i like to go to mass asap after confession…
 
coralife205 said:
Am i required to do the penence that the priest asked of me? He wanted me to to do a good deed to anybody i want that i have been unkind to lately. but im sitting here thinking…and thinking… and thinking…i honestly dont know what to do. i was wondering if i could do something else for my penence, or if i already have… after confession, i went home, got something small to eat, then i went to a differnt church and went to mass, recieved the eurcrhist. could that of been my penence? im still planing on going to mass again in the morning, i like to go to mass asap after confession…
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I’ve always been taught that you have to do what they assign you to do for penance. You can’t choose your penance.

Why are you finding it hard to do a good deed for someone you’ve been unkind to? I don’t know anything about you so don’t get insulted by a few suggestions, but for what it’s worth, there are a lot of things that can be done for people. If the person is a family member, you can do their laundry for them, or some of their chores. For your mom: do some of her chores. For a teacher: ask if there’s anything she/he needs and if you can help. If it’s a classmate: offer to help with homework. If it’s a next door neighbor, you can remove snow for them. Cook a meal. Run an errand. Stop at Mr. Donuts or Starbucks (that deed won’t be forgotten). Why not just ask the person if they need help with anything?
 
To replace the priest assigned penance with your own would be the sin of presumption at least that is the way I was taught. It would invalidate the absolution.
 
Texas_Roofer said:
To replace the priest assigned penance with your own would be the sin of presumption at least that is the way I was taught. It would invalidate the absolution.
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It wouldn’t invalidate the absolution - at least not unless you never even had the intention of doing the penance or something. Performing the penance is a separate issue that doesn’t normally affect the validity of the absolution.

It would indeed be a sin if you could do it but fail, probably a sin of disobedience though, I don’t think it particularly fits the sin of presumption unless you plan on not doing any penance at all, rather than (as the OP says) substituting something else.

Coralife - perhaps you can tell whoever you want to do the penance that you’d like to do something to help them and ask if there’s anything needs doing.

Or else simply write them a little note telling them you love them and you’re sorry you were unkind to them or something.
 
I’m pretty sure that the priest gave you this specific penence for a reason. Likely it had much to do with what you confessed to him. He probably saw this as the perfect penence for the specific sin you told him you committed.

We all must be ready to do whatever penence is asked of us when we go to confession.
 
its just the penence was do a good deed to someone that i was unkind to recently…someone i was mean to in the past week, i wrote them an email apologizeing and asking them if they needed anything…but i dont think thtas what the priest had in mind, so i dont think that counts… its just hard because i honestly dont know anyone that ive been unkind to…unless you count haveing an argment with parents about mortal sin…would that count? could i do something as simple as the dishes?
 
coralife205 said:
its just the penence was do a good deed to someone that i was unkind to recently…someone i was mean to in the past week, i wrote them an email apologizeing and asking them if they needed anything…but i dont think thtas what the priest had in mind, so i dont think that counts… its just hard because i honestly dont know anyone that ive been unkind to…unless you count haveing an argment with parents about mortal sin…would that count? could i do something as simple as the dishes?
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Yes, something like doing the dishes was very likely what he meant. The email was a good idea too. Having an argument or discussion isn’t necessarily unkind unless you are trying to make the other person feel bad or needlessly getting them angry.
 
Remember the story in scripture about the man who almost wasn’t cured of (leprosy?) because he thought the instructions given to him were too easy? He was just supposed to wash in the river.

The priest gave you the penance he did for a reason. You don’t need to make more of it than is there. Taking on an extra chore that someone else usually does (or that you usually whine about doing) is an excellent idea. Washing the dishes without complaining may seem like just a little thing, but it will give your mom those 20 minutes to relax, to chat with your dad, or to do some other thing she’s been meaning to get to. That’s a good deed!
 
\after confession, i went home, got something small to eat, then i went to a differnt church and went to mass, recieved the eurcrhist. could that of been my penence?\

**And eating something, going to church, and receiving Communion fulfils your assigned penance just HOW?

HOW is that doing a kind deed for someone you were unkind to?

Pray explain.**
 
as a sidebar you could go back to the original Priest & request a different Penance if in reality what he assigned was too difficult to accomplish ( certainly not the case here).

Please remember that doing the Penance is a Most essential part of the Sacrament.

Most Priests are far too easy with their penance but its done out of love for us and I
think in many cases they realize that the hardest part of the Sacrament is getting us there to do it. Good Luck & God Bless…
 
So -

You do not have to perform your penance instantly after confession, but you should not delay in doing it soon after. You can still go to communion after confession even if you have not done your penance yet (especially if mass is right afterward).

About the penance, he probably meant some small kind deed. When I get this penance assigned to me, I try to find some helpful act I can do, and I will often say a rosary for the person’s welfare and intentions, too. I think saying prayers for that person probably satisfies your penance, also. But perhaps the priest, hearing you, thought it would help your soul to do something concrete and outward. Why not do both, though?

In the future, you might make it clear to your confessor for more detail about what he means for you to do so you are not left wondering. Just ask next time. It sounds like you might have some tendency to srupulosity, however - so you might mention that to him, too.
 
coralife205 said:
Am i required to do the penence that the priest asked of me? …
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it depends on your reason for not doing it. If it is in a spirit of disobedience, yes it would be wrong to ignore the penance. If the penance was given to help you overcome whatever the sin was, it would be unwise at the least to forego the specific penance. What you suggest as an alternative is certainly beneficial, and you could have offered up your communion for someone as a kind act. Why do you think the priest assigned that penance? Why do you think you are looking for an alternative? If you examine your motives you will probably find the answer yourself. ( I hope you fasted for an hour after you ate before you received communion).
 
d ont worry i fasted… i alrady did my penence. i filed my moms car up with gas, bought my friend lunch from olive garden,
 
You can’t invalidate the absolution once it has been given by the priest In Persona Christi…the penance is to pay the debt owed to The Body of Christ (The Entire Church) for transgressing and is used to eliminate the temporal punishment due to us because of our sins
Texas_Roofer said:
To replace the priest assigned penance with your own would be the sin of presumption at least that is the way I was taught. It would invalidate the absolution.
Click to expand...
 
coralife205 said:
Am i required to do the penence that the priest asked of me? He wanted me to to do a good deed to anybody i want that i have been unkind to lately. but im sitting here thinking…and thinking… and thinking…i honestly dont know what to do. i was wondering if i could do something else for my penence, or if i already have… after confession, i went home, got something small to eat, then i went to a differnt church and went to mass, recieved the eurcrhist. could that of been my penence? im still planing on going to mass again in the morning, i like to go to mass asap after confession…
Click to expand...
YES you need to do the penance assigned. it is part of the sacrament…

however you may ask him to change it…
 
Texas_Roofer said:
To replace the priest assigned penance with your own would be the sin of presumption at least that is the way I was taught. It would invalidate the absolution.
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it would not invalidate the absolution.

for the person had the intention at the time to do it.

but one still needs to do the penance…or get it changed.
 

  1. *]Absolution is INDEPENDENT of any penance that we perform or fail to perform – only if we walked in the confessional with the intention of not performing a penance, would it bring the entire confession, including the absolution, into doubt.

    *]If you receive a penance that you may have a problem with performing, bring it to the attention of the priest. If he buys your reason, he will mostlikely give you another penance.

    *] If you have made an honest attempt and are unable to perform the penance, bring it up at the next confession saying that you were given this certain penance and explain why you are having difficulty in performing it. The priest CAN assign a different penance in it’s place releasing you of the obligation in performing the original penance.

    *]Any penance which we fial to perform in this life will be expected of us in the after life and it has been said that we can pay the debt that we owe with pennies on the dollar in this life compared to what will be expected of us in the after life.
 
coralife205 said:
Am i required to do the penence that the priest asked of me? He wanted me to to do a good deed to anybody i want that i have been unkind to lately…
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I have heard a couple of different priests say in a lecture that when one is given a penance such as the one you describe of performing some kind of good deed, that one could ask the confessor for a different penance if they were too troubled about being able to do the penance or to do it in a reasonable amount of time.
 
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